BREAKING NEWS - APRIL 2005

April 29, 2005

"You might as well go ahead and prepare to walk out of the theater dumber than you went in. Every time Ice Cube spit out something like 'truf' or 'kick you in the teef' or aidin' and abeddin' I could actually hear and feel gray matter dissolving. It kind of tickles, but in a scary way. I'd immediately try to think of something intelligent in an effort to minimize long-term damage. So naturally, I'd reflect on some of my past reviews. I recommend you take a similar route."

April 28, 2005

"In my mind, I've always thought that somebody making a movie should be making said movie because he truly has a story to tell. Well, who in the wide, wide world of sports has been waiting to tell a tale about a seven-headed snake that guards the fountain of youth? Is there anybody on the planet who has been waiting for that story to be told? And why exactly did that snake have only one head at the beginning of the movie, about three heads near the middle, and the full seven heads weren't revealed until the end? What is going on here?"

April 27, 2005

April 26, 2005

"Speaking of the atmosphere, well, it's pretty dark. Some people may feel it's a bit *too* dark for a children's movie. I admit, I was originally a little surprised at the morbid tones - death, the attempted murder of children, vipers jumping and hissing at the screen. But if you think about it, aren't most of the old classic fairy tales pretty gloomy? For example, what happens in Hansel and Gretel? Ohhh, nothing except a witch tries to MURDER AND CANNIBALIZE two small children! And Little Red Riding Hood? That merely tackles the subject of a wolf wanting to devour a little girl. So as you see, upon further reflection, Lemony Snicket isn't all that different."

• Disc One:


• Commentary by Director Brad Silberling
• Commentary by Lemony Snicket and Brad Silberling
• Bad Beginnings (3 Featurettes)
• Orphaned Scenes (11 Deleted Scenes and 5 Outtakes)


• Disc Two:


• A Terrible Tragedy...(5 Featurettes)
• 3 Featurettes of Sound Design
• 4 Special Effects Featurettes
• 3 Still Photo Galleries

April 25, 2005

April 22, 2005

"If you're in the mood for a crazy, over-the-top Kung Fu movie that doesn't come close to taking itself seriously, and you don't mind subtitles, then check out Kung Fu Hustle. Or if you just need to see something that doesn't follow the typical Hollywood movie formula, then this will keep you entertained."

"I found myself being somewhat entertained. I think Amanda Peet's bright blue eyes have a hypnotic effect. Be careful, staring directly into them can force you into enjoying a movie more than you probably should! She plays her free spirited character well, and she and Ashton demonstrate a likeable chemistry.

Unfortunately, even these two can't convince us that we're seeing anything more than a moderately entertaining love story that will more than likely be collecting dust 2 YEARS LATER at the bottom of your DVD shelf as it gets lost among the more memorable and original movies of the genre."

April 21, 2005

"Despite the fact that at times it looks like Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn are auditioning for Oscar nominations, as they exchange long, drawn-out speeches, The Interpreter kept me guessing throughout its entire runtime. But there will be times when you'll need to resist the temptation to yell out, 'Yeah, yeah, you both already have Oscars so please just MOVE IT ALONG!' Pretty much whenever you see one of these leads start to squeeze out a tear you know it's time to fluff your pillow and wait it out."

April 20, 2005

"When you're making a sequel to a very successful movie, you've really got a lot to live up to. Some sequels take that challenge and work hard to live up to or exceed expectations. Even if the sequel doesn't exceed the original, you hope it'll at least give a valiant effort. Meet the Fockers, however, went with a different approach. It takes everything that worked in the first movie, throws it out the door, and substitutes it with lame, formulaic, and repetitive gags.

Come on, am I really expected to laugh when Hoffman dances and falls into a food table? That's the best the writers could come up with? I suppose that might work in a high school skit on club day, but it really doesn't cut it when you're making a major motion picture."

• Includes Theatrical Film and Extended Version
• 65 Hilarious Bloopers and over 20 Deleted Scenes
• Feature commentary with director Jay Roach and Editor/Co-Producer Jon Poll
• Fockers' Family Portrait
• Inside the Litter Box - Behind-the-scenes with Jinx the cat
• The Manary Gland - Behind-the-scenes with the propmaster
• The Adventures of a Baby Wrangler - An exclusive look at what it takes to direct children on the set

New Line has picked up the rights to Meg(working title), Steve Alten's horror adventure about a prehistoric shark, with Jan de Bont on board to direct. The studio is putting the project on the fast-track with hopes of a fall start date.

The story focuses on an 80-foot-long prehistoric shark – scientifically known as carcharodon megalodon. Some believe it is an ancestor of the great white shark. It terrorizes the California coast, and two men from opposite points of view are forced to come together to neutralize the threat.

The book was published in 1997 and spawned two sequels: The Trench and last year's Meg: Primal Waters. The film was originally set up at Walt Disney Pictures' Hollywood Pictures.

New Line has hired Bruce Willis to star and Elizabeth director Shekhar Kapur to direct the upcoming crime drama Solace, which is anticipated to start production in July. Willis will play a doctor with psychic powers who helps police catch a serial killer with similar abilities.

April 19, 2005

April 18, 2005

April 15, 2005

"Everybody starts to hear weird noises and see strange visions in the house, but Ryan seems to be the most negatively affected. He's quite effective at transforming into the bad guy. One thing I really liked is that his character's portrayal is a little more 'realistic' in regard to what you would expect to happen if somebody became demon possessed. The guy's neck doesn't start doing 360s and he doesn't start talking like Darth Vader – he just becomes freakin’ scary."

April 14, 2005

April 13, 2005

April 12, 2005

"I do not like Julia Roberts. I have NEVER understood her appeal. And not to be shallow, but I don't find her the least bit attractive. So how is that relevant to why I prefer Ocean's 12? Well, Julia was a distraction in Ocean's 11, but here she has one enjoyable scene that made me not think about how much I can't stand her! When a movie can do that, then it has really accomplished something.

• Theatrical Trailer

"Kingsley has a theory regarding Suspect Zero. It's his belief that there has to be a serial killer out there who might not ever be caught because he leaves no pattern, no clues. For some reason, Eckhart acts like this is tantamount to cloning Jesus. He seems to think it is just absolutely impossible. Come on, is it really that hard to fathom? There are plenty of unsolved murders. Could some of them possibly be unsolved because they're committed by serial killers who leave no clues or pattern? That's not really that radical of a theory, is it? Eckhart acts like it's more likely that Corey Feldman will have a big screen hit again.

• Commentary by director Elias Merhige
• An alternate ending with optional commentary by Merhige
• What We See When We Close Our Eyes - A 4-Part Featurette
• A remote viewing demonstration
• An Easter Egg

April 11, 2005

April 8, 2005

"Anybody who has a passion for sports will be able to relate to Fever Pitch on some level. Unless you have a favorite sports team you can't fully understand the extreme highs and lows that a fan such as Fallon's Ben can go through. There's nothing quite so fresh as the smell of a new season and nothing quite so smooth as a clean slate. Well, figuratively speaking. It's the joy of being a sports fan. 'Wait 'til next year,' becomes your mantra, your motto, your prayer - and Fever Pitch effectively captures that essence.

April 7, 2005

"It's not exactly a crowning achievement that one of the things that excited me most about Sahara is that the bright glow from Matthew McConaughey's orange tan provided enough light for me to take notes. That certainly doesn't say a lot about the movie's strongpoints, but it did prove to be very convenient."

April 6, 2005

April 5, 2005

April 4, 2005

"Sin City didn't exactly hit a homerun with me, but I enjoyed it. It's definitely one of the most original-looking movies to come along in quite a while. I liked watching the characters perform outlandish feats that can only be pulled off in the comic book and movie worlds. But this isn't for everybody. If you're easily offended then by all means you should definitely stay home. If you're under 17, then you definitely wouldn't be seeing this if you were my kid. And if you have a problem with watching a movie where the 'good guys' are nearly as corrupt as the bad guys, save for a redeeming act or two, then the questionable morals of the Sin City world probably aren't for you."

April 1, 2005

"So Joan walks around most the movie acting like the chip fell off her shoulder and wedged firmly up her rump crack. Her solution to these trying times? Booze it up, and hook up with male lead Kevin Costner. Meanwhile, her daughters decide to screw up their own lives. Alicia Witt gets pregnant before college graduation and decides to get married, Erika gets a job at Costner's radio station and decides to sleep with the slimeball producer (Mike Binder) to further her career, and Keri starves herself while training to be a dancer, eventually landing in the hospital. Oh, and the youngest daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) tries to win the love of a gay boy who looks so feminine it makes Richard Simmons appear to have testosterone."