BREAKING NEWS - FEBRUARY 2004

February 29, 2004

February 27, 2004

February 26, 2004

"If you usually figure out who the murderer is pretty easily and pick up on the little details that give it away, stay away from this movie, as they didn't do it well enough to still hold your attention. On the other hand, if you are usually surprised when all is revealed, if you’ve never won a game of Clue in your life, and if you sleep through half the movie, you might enjoy it."

"I guess if you have to see all of Michael Paré's or Robert Z'Dar's movies then watch this. Actually, just look at the cover of the movie, read this review and just claim that you have seen all of their movies."

February 24, 2004

• Tonight I'll be seeing an advanced screening of the new Ashley Judd/Samuel L. Jackson movie "Twisted." The Fresh Princess of Cali has already seen it and has sent me a less-than-favorable review that I'll be posting in the next couple of days (along with my two cents). Will I hate it as much as Ms. Cali? I don't know, but from what I've seen in the trailers I know I can already give Ashley Judd's hair a big thumbs down. Call me old-fashioned, but I just don't like it when girls have shorter hair than I.



• In his latest mindless rambling, oh, I'm sorry, let me start over ... *ahem* In his latest "60 Minutes" monologue, Andy Rooney referred to Mel Gibson as a "nut case" and a "wacko." Um, has anybody seen this octogenarian mumbling through his monologue lately? He's the last person who should be referring to anyone as a "nut case." Hey Mr. Rooney, 1985 called, it wants your relevance back.



• According to IMDb.com, Ethan Hawke has responded to allegations that he was unfaithful to Uma Thurman with the following statement: "Martin Luther King Jr. suffered from infidelity, so did John F. Kennedy. You're more likely to find great leadership coming from a man who likes to have sex with a lot of women than one who's monogamous."
  
  Wow. I knew you didn't have to be a genius to be an actor, but I didn't know you could be a complete idiot and still succeed. Ethan also said that he and Uma will probably get a divorce soon. Hear that, ladies? He might be single again soon! Talk about a catch! Please don't be upset if you catch him sleeping around, he's just working on his leadership skills.
  
  Hey Ethan, guess what, nobody has cared since "Dead Poets Society." Maybe that's why your movies have only grossed an average of $18 million over the past 19 years. And that number is inflated because "your" largest grossing movies have been those in which you weren't the lead. So would you care to explain where you've done a great job of leading? It sure hasn't been in the movies. On second thought, don't bother, just go away, we won't miss you. Oh, and take a bath while you're at it.

February 20, 2004

"If you love Ray Romano and cute movies with all of your little heart, then go enjoy the movie. Otherwise, I can't recommend spending money to see this at the theater. It'll be on TV soon enough, and you can give it a look then."

"I didn't pay to see this movie, but I still feel like I got ripped off. In fact, does anybody know how to contact director Jeff Schaffer? He owes me some gas money."

February 19, 2004

February 18, 2004

February 13, 2004

"Quite simply, this is a movie that just doesn't exceed expectations. I enjoyed looking at Catherine Zeta-Jones for almost two hours, but in the future I'd prefer to pop the ol' 'Entrapment' DVD into the player and hit 'pause.' Um, I mean hit 'play.'"

February 12, 2004

"Don't let the 'romantic comedy' classification worry you too much. '50 First Dates' is what I'd classify as an untraditional romantic comedy. There's just enough sweetness to make the girls go awwwwww, but it's not so sappy that the guys will run screaming from the theater."

February 9, 2004

Happy Birthday to Someone Special

February 5, 2004