BREAKING NEWS - JANUARY 2006
January 31, 2006
FS&R: Pardon My Yawn, It's Oscar Nomination Time Again
The Oscar nominations have been announced, and once again, the nominations don't come anywhere close to what
the regular moviegoer would choose as his (or her) favorites. I'm not surprised, but I am sick of it. Thus my
latest rant, Pardon My Yawn, It's Oscar Nomination
Time Again.
Who's Ready for Another Review of a Sci Fi Original?
Good news - tomorrow will feature my review of Richard Grieco's Webs. Unfortunately, I had to actually
sit through it in order to write the review for you readers. Talk about an artist suffering for his
art...
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January 30, 2006
Opening This Week
When a Stranger Calls (2600+ screens) - Oh goody. Another week in which
Hollywood decides to poop an unnecessary and unwanted remake on us. Thanks, Hollywood, we really don't
appreciate it. In case you aren't aware, this is a remake of the 1979 movie of the same title. The "story"
revolves around a young high school student who has a babysitting job go terrifyingly wrong. The stranger
starts calling her again a few years later for some reason. To traumatize her I suppose. Or to traumatize
movie audiences. Maybe a little of both.
Tagline: Whatever You Do, Don't Answer The Phone.
Suggested Tagline: Whatever You Do, Don't Pay to See this Movie.
Verdict
I have not seen the movie yet, but if the trailer is any indication then this looks like it's going to fall
into the "so bad it's entertaining" category. The movie "stars" exactly ZERO people that I've ever heard of,
they couldn't even find two minutes of decent acting to showcase in the trailer, and the cheesy "the calls
are coming from inside the house" line is featured prominently. I can't wait!
I want to know how exactly the calls are coming from inside the house and the babysitter doesn't know it.
Are there two phone lines in the house? If so, then do they not have caller I.D.? Or will the movie claim
this incident took place years ago before such "modern" inventions and then jump "years later" into the present
without any of the actors actually aging? I'll be seeing this one on Thursday and am eager to write the
review. Maybe this will surprise me and end up being a well-made thriller, but as of now I'm putting no eggs
in that basket.
Something New (1200+ screens) - What we've got here is an interracial
romantic comedy. Bootylicious Sanaa Lathan and Five-O'Clock Shadow Simon Baker both get a case of what Spike
Lee would call jungle fever. Of course, their relationship is met with some opposition, particularly from
Sanaa's family and friends. Will they follow their hearts or abide what the society around them is saying
they should do?
Verdict
I've already seen it, and it's actually pretty decent. It isn't great, but its target audience will love it.
Full review on Friday.
Western Suggestions
I'm working on a Top Ten Westerns list, and I thought I'd see if any of you Movie Marks had any suggestions.
I already have about seven or eight titles that will definitely make the list, but I'm open to your ideas.
The list can contain movies, TV series, or mini-series. Preferably something that's on DVD or will be on DVD
soon.
I will add that my list is heavy on Clint Eastwood and very light on John Wayne. Admittedly, I haven't seen
many of John Wayne's Westerns. The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance is on my short list, and I would like
to at least watch Big Jake and The Sons of Katie Elder before the list is finalized.
What Westerns are favorites of yours that you think I might like and would like to see receive
consideration?
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January 27, 2006
Open Casting Call: Hairspray
Are any of you Bett-heads interested in becoming huge Hollywood stars? I need some famous coattails to ride,
so I'm expecting somebody to take advantage of this opportunity. I have received word that a movie version
of the Broadway musical Hairspray is in the works. Next Saturday they'll be having auditions for some
fairly critical roles.
Here is the pertinent information regarding the auditions:
Saturday, February 4th 2006
11:00 AM TO 6:00 PM
Georgia State University
Student Center, Second Floor
44 Courtland Street
Atlanta, GA 30303
CLICK HERE for the full details.
Come on, I know that plenty of my readers are at least close to Atlanta, so go nail the auditions, become
famous, and use your fame to help me out somehow. Thanks.
Hey Johnny, what do we watch this weekend???
I know many of you are lost about what to do this weekend because I haven't reviewed any of this week's
releases. I'm interested in Annapolis, mainly because I like James Franco. But Touchstone, in their
finite wisdom, decided not to screen it in Memphis, therefore, missing out on a potential positive review by
Johnny Betts.
"What about Big Momma's House 2, Johnny? I know you didn't attend the screening because you went to the
Memphis Tigers basketball game instead, but do you think I should pay good money to see it at the theater?"
*stares blankly and points to the door* Get out. Just get out.
As for DVD releases, the two big ones this week are less-than-feminine Jody Foster's Flightplan and the
remake of The Fog. These are two more movies that the studios did not screen in Memphis, so I haven't seen
them and cannot advise you one way or another. I know Stephanie will eventually force me to rent The Fog
because Tom Welling is in it. And Flightplan looks decent (and received a favorable review from fellow
Movie Mark Fiery Maid), but that's about all I can tell you.
What I need to do is create a "Johnny Betts' Guide to Essential Movies in Each Genre." It'd serve as a
recommendation of my ten favorite movies in all the important genres. That way you'd know what to rent
when the New Release well is running a little dry. Stay tuned.
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January 26, 2006
The Hardest Part About Writing Reviews
"People often approach me and ask, 'Johnny, how do you find the time and energy to write such funny,
intellectually stimulating reviews on a consistent basis? What's the hardest part of keeping up the
level of excellence you have set?'"
Have you ever found yourself asking the above questions? No? Oh. Well, have you ever found yourself
disagreeing with my opinion of a particular movie? If so then you need to figure out where you've gone
wrong. But maybe my article, The Hardest Part About
Writing Reviews, will help you better understand where I'm coming from and what difficulties I face
when I finally force myself to sit down and produce my latest masterpiece (AKA my latest movie review).
Perhaps you'll learn a few tips on humility also. Enjoy.
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January 25, 2006
Apocalypse Now: Pamela Anderson vs. Colonel Sanders
Pamela Anderson, who now consists of approximately 77% plastic and stretched skin, is on a crusade to have
the bust of Colonel Sanders removed from the Kentucky state capitol. The funniest aspect about this is that
she actually thinks people will take her seriously. PETA released a statement in which Anderson said, "The
bust of Colonel Sanders stands as a monument to cruelty and has no place in the Kentucky state capitol."
Having no discernible talent, Anderson clearly has nothing better to do than protest against this so-called
"chicken holocaust." After all, it's a pretty easy life when all you have to do is show up to the set of
whatever no-talent show you're currently working on and simply stand there and look like a ho. It gives you
lots of free time to donate to PC-run-amok causes.
If Anderson really wants to kick-start a worthy campaign then she needs to go after the plastic surgeon who
is responsible for those two silicone abnormalities that she is hiding under her shirt.
Colonel Sanders is a monument to cruelty? No, Pamela, Colonel Sanders is a monument to some darn good
eatin'. You, my hard-ridden dear, are the true monument to cruelty. Anybody who ever sat through V.I.P.
or Barb Wire can attest to that.
Thankfully, the governor's office refuses to pick up this PC card that Anderson has dropped. The communications
director for the governor told CNN, "The governor has no intention of moving his statue. If we were going to move
it, it would be to a more prominent position where more people could see it."
Sorry, Pamela, looks like you'll have to find a new way to get attention. Let me close with a statement of my
own. The Associated Press is more than welcome to pick this up and run with it. *ahem* "The silicone bust of
Pamela Anderson stands as a monument to cruelty and has no place on our TV or theater screens."
Thank you.
Click here for Hollywood's other signs of the Apocalypse.
Chris Penn Found Dead
Actor Chris Penn, the fatter brother of Sean Penn, was found dead Tuesday at a condominium in Santa Monica.
I've heard some reports claim he was 40 while others have said 43. I have no idea what his actual age was, so I
dare not speculate which is the more accurate. There were no signs of foul play. Run-ins with the law and
drug problems littered his past, but we'll just have to wait and see what the autopsy concludes.
A talented guy in his own right, it's a shame that he was constantly forced to live in Sean's shadow. Fans
of The Young Riders will remember him as Brad in the episode
Matched
Pair. It's one of my favorite episodes, so I highly recommend that you pick up Season 1 of TYR
when it is released on DVD on March 21 and check it out.
I suggest you watch him in Clint Eastwood's Pale Rider first and then recoil in shock at how much
weight he gained. Unfortunately, it was a trend that only seemed to get worse with each new role.
Movie Mark reader and long-time Johnny Betts fan, Australian Ann, offers her own memory, "Of course, to me
he will be best remembered for the gayest of all movie scenes where Ren (Kevin Bacon) shows Willard (Chris
Penn) to dance and frolic in the woods to the tune of ... Let's Hear It For The Boy!"
If you've seen Footloose then you understand that it's one of those scenes that both actors probably
wish could be removed from the record books.
Oh, about that article...
Yes, my article regarding the hardest part of reviewing movies was supposed to be posted today. But I couldn't
pass up the Pamela Anderson bit, and then I found out about Chris Penn's death this morning. Therefore, I
PROMISE I'll post the article tomorrow. Consider it a Johnny Betts guarantee.
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January 24, 2006
TRAILER: Silent Hill
I enjoy being frightened. To a degree, that is. I like being scared if it's due to a movie, video game, or
haunted house. Being in the wrong part of Memphis at midnight, on the other hand, is the type of fear I try
to avoid. The problem is that most "horror" movies these days just don't do it for me. In fact, video games
are what provide most of my scares these days. And the scariest of those is the Silent Hill series.
That's why I'm keeping my hopes up with the new Silent Hill movie.
The story revolves around a mother whose daughter disappears in the eerie, deserted town of Silent Hill.
When the mother begins the search for her daughter she soon realizes the town is inhabited by some sort of
evil. What will mama have to do in order to save her daughter, and what will be the consequences?
Watch the trailer RIGHT
HERE!
I know a lot of video games don't translate well to film, but this looks to be pretty good. The best part is
that Uwe Boll is not involved in any way! Will the movie effectively capture the creepy, suffocating feeling
that the video game handled so well? I'll be sure and let you know.
Clarification
Remember yesterday's introduction to Laslo's Sundance article? I sure hope so because it was just yesterday!
Anyway, Stephanie brought the following line to my attention: "But like Movie Mark correspondent Laslo
Hollyfeld, I think it's become a little too pretentious for its own good."
Stephanie pointed out that that statement could be interpreted to mean that I was referring to Laslo as
pretentious. In effect saying "Sundance is too pretentious for its own good, just like Laslo!"
My original intention was to state that I agree with Laslo regarding Sundance being too pretentious. However,
upon further reflection, I'll leave it to the reader to determine which interpretation he or she likes best.
I apologize for any confusion.
Coming Tomorrow...
At long last - my article regarding the hardest part of reviewing movies will be posted tomorrow. I don't have
any movies to actually review this week, so I have to come up with something! One of the big openings
is Annapolis, starring James Franco. It looks good, but Memphis isn't getting a screening. Boo for
our lack of Top 40 Market status!
This weekend's biggest opening is Big Momma's House 2. There is a screening of it on Thursday, but I
hate to break the news to all you readers - I'll be attending the Memphis Tigers basketball game against UAB
instead. You'll just have to rely on your own common sense to tell you this movie will blow chunks the likes
of which have not been since the last Ben Affleck release.
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January 23, 2006
Has the Sun Set on Sundance?
The Sundance Institute claims to be an organization that is dedicated to "the development of artists of
independent vision and to the exhibition of their new work." But like Movie Mark correspondent Laslo
Hollyfeld, I think it's become a little too pretentious for its own good.
Unfortunately, the Movie Mark website appears to be TOO independent to get an official invitation to the festival,
but Laslo lives in Salt Lake City and has first-hand experience with the pomp surrounding the Sundance
circumstance. Today, Laslo gives us a glimpse of how Sundance has strayed from its original independent
intentions...
Has the Sun Set on Sundance?
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January 20, 2006
Review: Underworld: Evolution - Beckinsale in leather is on the menu? I'll have that.
"Are you already a fan of Underworld? If so then you'll likely view this as a worthy sequel. It's
stylish, it's dark, it's atmospheric, and it's still sportin' that sweet hybrid 'tude.
Or did you hate the original? If so then do yourself and us a favor and save your money. No one really wants to
hear you complain that this is 'just as bad.' Are you just looking for an excuse to play Billy BadBone on the
Internet message boards? No doubt it allows you to put your whining to good use, but can't you find another skill
to fine-tune?"
Johnny Betts reviews Underworld: Evolution, starring
Kate Beckinsale and Scott Speedman.
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January 19, 2006
The Movie Mark's 2005 Awards
I'm still trying to finalize the name for the Movie Mark's year-end awards. Suggestions include The Golden
Brolins, The Johnny Betts Golden Boot Awards, All Betts Are Off, among others. I'm leaning towards the Golden
Brolins, but the Golden Boot has potential as well. If you have any other suggestions then please let me
know.
As of right now, here are some of the categories that will be included:
Best of 2005
Worst of 2005
Best Popcorn Flick
Best Movie to Enjoy to Spite the Critics
Most Surprising
Most Disappointing
Best Supporting Actor in a Mini-Series
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Most Appearances in a Movie/Mini-Series with "Into the" in the Title
Best Classic Movie Remade for Today
Worst Classic Movie Remade for Today
Best Chick Flick that Johnny Betts Wouldn't Be Caught Dead Attending
Best Chick Flick that Johnny Betts Puts Away the Man Card to Attend and Admits It
Best Portrayal of John Brown by an Actor at a Live Reading
Best James Brolin Facial Hair on an Actor
Best Watercooler Movie of 2005
Best Movie Soundtrack
Most Overrated Movie of 2005
Best Movie Mark Original
Best stunt performance or coordination
Best CGI acting
Best voice-over work in an animated film
Best film where Johnny Betts DOESN'T have to cash in his guy card
Best film in an otherwise bad series that is so good it makes you forget that the other films
were even made (Batman Begins only)
Best film to rent and give a personal MST3K treatment to
Best (or worst, depends on your view) Sci-Fi channel original movie
The C. Thomas Howell Lifetime Achievement Award
I'll probably include some individual awards for actors and actresses as well. Don't worry, Michael Pare's
name will be invoked in some way. Any other suggestions? Be clever.
Coming tomorrow... my review of Underworld: Evolution!
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January 18, 2006
Review: Tristan & Isolde - Who Has the Prettier Hair?
"It's not worth the $16 it'd take to treat Stephanie to an exciting night at the movies, but it will make a
nice rental. Don't expect a movie anywhere near the level of something like Braveheart or you'll walk
away disappointed. It's more along the lines of Kingdom of
Heaven with more romance and less boredom. Of the two, I enjoyed
Tristan & Isolde more. Of course, a lot of that has
to do with the fact that James Franco is a much better, much more compelling actor than Orlando 'Chicken
Lips' Bloom. Plus, his hair is cooler."
Johnny Betts reviews Tristan & Isolde, starring
James Franco and Sophia Myles.
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January 17, 2006
TRAILER: Ultraviolet
After watching my Underworld DVD last night (partly to prepare myself for Underworld: Evolution
and partly to get my Kate Beckinsale fix), I have to admit that I'm in a "female action star" kind of mood this
week. Therefore, I'm going to take this opportunity to hype Milla Jovovich's upcoming Ultraviolet.
Set in the late 21st century, Ultraviolet tells the story of a subculture of humans who have been modified
genetically by a vampire-like disease. The disease enhances their speed, stamina, and intelligence to an "almost
Johnny Betts-like" level. Anybody who has ever watched a movie with a similar theme should automatically know
that the genetically-mutated humans are going to have some major conflicts with the normal humans.
An infected woman, Ultraviolet (Jovovich), is caught in the middle of the battle. For some reason she finds
herself protecting a nine-year-old boy who has been marked for death by the human government as he is believed
to be a threat to humans.
Check out the trailer
right here.
It's looking good. I'll go so far as to say it looks like the movie that
Aeon Flux wished it could have been. I think Charlize Theron is
an incredibly attractive woman, but Milla is just more believable as an action star. If you have watched her
kick massive amounts of zombie rumpage in either of the Resident Evil movies then you know she can
pull this off. I'm not going to predict whether this will be your cup of overpriced Starbucks coffee, but
based on the trailer I have to add Ultraviolet to my 2006 "most anticipated" list.
On another note, I watched the trailer for Lindsay Lohan's Just My Luck and nearly detached a retina from
excessive eye-rolling. I won't insult you by providing a link to that monstrosity.
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January 16, 2006
Opening this Week: Underworld Evolution
Opening in limited release is Cuba Gooding Jr.'s Dirty. According to IMDb, Gooding is a
gangbanger-turned-cop who tries to cover up a scandal within the LAPD. Hmm, a crooked cop? Is Gooding
going the Denzel Washington Training Day route? Whatever the case, he has a long way to go to wash
the stench of Boat Trip and Snow Dogs from his resume. Can you believe that a fellow coworker
once commented to me that he thought Boat Trip looked funny? I punched him square in the jaw. And
rightfully so.
Anyway, it's obvious that the only movie opening this week that really counts is Underworld: Evolution.
Vampires, werewolves, and Kate Beckinsale in tight leather? Bring. It. On. If you didn't enjoy the
original Underworld in some fashion then you simply have no testosterone. This sequel is the first
movie of 2006 that I've been eagerly anticipating. Kate has that kind of effect on me I suppose. I'll
screen it on Thursday and I promise I'll do my best to not drool too much in my review.
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January 13, 2006
Review: Glory Road - Better as a movie than a history lesson.
"The bottom line is that Glory Road is not only entertaining,
but it also gets across an important point. No, Haskins wasn't trumpeting a cause, but his desire to win at
any cost went a long way in changing the national perception of black athletes and helped kick start the
desegregation of college sports.
If you're a fan of inspirational sports films, especially those based on true stories, then I recommend
Glory Road. Look past the factual inconsistencies and enjoy it for what it is."
Johnny Betts reviews Glory Road, starring Josh Lucas, Derek Luke,
and Jon Voight.
Apocalypse Now: You Knew David Hasselhoff Would Eventually be Involved
Words can't do this justice, so I won't even try. I defy anybody to watch this and come up with an
explanation as to what he was thinking. He must've cashed a pretty big paycheck to resort to this.
Watch THE VIDEO; it says it all.
Tristan and Isolde
I saw it last night, and I enjoyed it. It's not a movie that escorts me out of the theater full of joy
and excitement; intent on recommending it to everyone I come across, but I thought it did a good job of
balancing romance and action. I'll post my full review next week. Would I recommend that you see it at
the theater? Not necessarily. It's not one I'd pay $8 a pop to see, but I'd have no problem making it
a rental.
Don't expect it to be anywhere near the level of something like Braveheart, but I enjoyed it more
than Kingdom of Heaven. Of course, a lot of that has
to do with the fact that James Franco is a much better, much more compelling actor than Orlando Bloom.
Reader Review: Last Holiday
I'm not a big fan of Queen Latifah. So I have to admit that the fact that the combination of Taxi and
the trailer for Last Holiday produced two total laughs from me dampened any desire to give this a
look. Yes, it's true; I managed to not watch any of the 42 screenings they had here. However, most of the
people I talked to seemed to enjoy it. So in all fairness I want to give a voice to Last Holiday so that
you might have an idea of what to expect in case this is your kind of movie. Here is Mona's assessment:
"We saw Last Holiday tonight. I am not a movie critic, but it was funny and what I call 'a feel good
movie.' I wish Hollywood would make more movies like this. Judging by the reaction of the audience I think
the majority enjoyed it as well. Sometimes it is good to see things go right for good people and see others
get a little of what they deserve. After all, that doesn't happen nearly often enough in real life.
My daughter has had a tough couple of weeks at work and her comment afterwards was, 'I needed this.' It was
just fun and made us feel happy. So happy, that afterwards we went to O'Charley's and had a drink before
coming home!
They were asking for reactions to the movie when we walked out and everyone I heard loved it, except for
one guy that sort of reminded me of Indiana Jones. He didn't like it at all. Oh well, some people just
like the action-packed "guns and violence" type movies and others are just too tame for them I guess."
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January 12, 2006
FS&R: Dear GameStop, Please STOP the Poor Customer Service
I don't know if you've ever encountered the poor customer service that GameStop has mastered, but I know that
at some point in your life you have dealt with bad service from a company or an ignorant employee. If you've
ever had to summon all your strength to stop yourself from physically harming someone because of their
stupidity then you'll definitely be able to relate to the latest FS&R article -
Dear GameStop, Please STOP the Poor Customer
Service.
Coming Tomorrow...
Good news! In addition to my Glory Road review, tomorrow I will reveal the second sign that the
Apocalypse is nigh. David Hasselhoff is involved.
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January 11, 2006
Movie Mark Original #12
Title: Waitin' on a Check
Tagline: Some men want to save the world; they just wanted to save for
a down payment on a houseboat.
Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Kingsley, and Christopher Walken
Synopsis: Hollywood is turned upside down when moviegoers across the country file a class
action lawsuit against three actors (Jackson, Kingsley, and Walken), accusing them of stealing their money by
inexplicably appearing in really awful movies. It doesn't take long for the judge to find the actors guilty of Theft by
Bad Movies.
The judge concludes, "I have determined that the three of you, by virtue of your reputable names in
the acting business, have recently conned moviegoers into forfeiting their hard-earned money to see really bad movies
simply because they were fans of your previous work. I have also determined that there was no way for these innocent
victims to be aware of just how wretched these movies would be. Among the list of offenses:
The Man, xXx: State of the
Union, Snakes on a Plane, A Sound of Thunder,
BloodRayne, Kangaroo Jack, Gigli, The Stepford
Wives... I could go on, but I'm getting sick to my stomach. You gentlemen should be ashamed."
Each movie title hits like a bullet as the actors begin to slowly realize exactly how much crap they've willingly
agreed to throw on the big screen, all in the name of a paycheck. But is it completely their fault? Or are they under
the spell of something much worse than bad decision-making? Realizing they've already hit the bottom of their
careers, the three actors determine they must get to the bottom of what exactly is controlling them. Don't miss
the exciting action as they take advantage of their one last chance to save their reputations.
The Climactic Scene: Jackson, Kingsley, and Walken get cornered by producers in the back of
a studio office. In what has been described as "the most exciting finale you'll see in this particular movie," they
feverishly dodge all variety of offers being thrown at them and battle ferociously with the monetary temptations that
refuse to leave them alone. In the film's defining moment, Jackson stares down a $10 million offer to appear in
Snakes on a Plane 2: Throw Mama Snake from the Plane. Wrestling with the decision of whether or not to sign
the contract, Jackson throws the pen down, caps two bullets into the head of the movie, removes the cigar from his
mouth, slowly turns to the camera and deadpans, "That's what I like to call kickin' asp."
As the credits roll, moviegoers start up the paperwork for lawsuit #2.
Click here for Johnny's previous
Movie Mark Originals.
Coming tomorrow... my FS&R article regarding GameStop
and their horrendously poor customer service.
January 10, 2006
It's Celebration Time in Young Riders Land
"Hey Johnny, is that loud shrieking from all of the Young Riders fans celebrating because of the DVD
announcement?"
No, those shrieks of joy are from Ty Miller because of the residual checks he's expecting to receive. Playing "the
pilot" in an episode of Nip/Tuck doesn't pay ALL the bills, you know?
The fact that The Young Riders is finally being released on DVD will allow me to go ahead and finish my
Top 10 Westerns list. In compiling the list I wanted every item to be available for your purchase so that
it wouldn't be hard to check out my recommendations. Stay tuned.
On DVD This Week
Red Eye (click for my review)
Special Features:
- Commentary by: Director Wes Craven, Producer Marianne Maddalena and Editor Patrick Lussier (Unknown Format)
- The Making of Red Eye
- Wes Craven: A New Kind of Thriller
- Gag Reel
THE GIST: Worth a rental. The tension remains strong until the very end when things become
as formulaic as an episode of Three's Company. But when you've got Rachel McAdams to stare at for 90 minutes
then these slight disappointments are fairly inconsequential.
The Transporter 2 (click for my review)
Special Features:
- Inside Look
- X-3 (version 2)
- Deleted Scenes
- Extended Fight Sequences
- "Off the Record" Shooting
- Making of Transporter 2
THE GIST: Worth a rental. What The Transporter
2 lacks in story it makes up for in style. Jason Statham, much like Johnny Betts, is the king of cool. If
you're a fan of movies that specialize in ridiculously unbelievable, over-the-top action and choreographed fight
scenes then you'll want to give this a look.
January 9, 2006
The Young Riders on DVD - IT'S OFFICIAL!
Click here for the full article
I'll be all over this and will get every last piece of information I can find. It might be best if I create "TYR on
DVD" page to keep everything together. Stay tuned.
DVD News: The Young Riders, More Official by the Day
Dear fans of The Young Riders, allow me to get your week started on a good note...
Season 1 of TYR has been given a DVD release date of March 21, 2006. Amazon.com has it
listed, and another website is already taking pre-orders for $47.99. Should you go ahead and pre-order from
moviesunlimited.com? Hmm, I'd say wait a little longer. You know good and well that I'll be researching this
thoroughly, so I highly recommend that you wait for more me to give you more feedback regarding the subject.
Go ahead, get excited.
If you're not familiar with The Young Riders, but you're a fan of Westerns, then I suggest you give serious consideration to picking up the DVD. There's a long story behind this, but without TYR there would be no Movie Mark. That alone makes you wanna buy the DVD, right? I knew it.
January 6, 2006
Review: Casanova - If I were you I'd say "I'll Pass-anova," BWAHAHAHA!
"The movie tries. It tries to be funny. It tries to be sentimental. It tries to remind everybody that Heath
Ledger is a manly man. But remember the wise words of Yoda, 'Do or do not. There is no try.' I suggest you
take this advice. Be wise and do not spend your money on this one. I admit there were plenty of people enjoying
it on a level I can't comprehend, but do you want to take a risk and possibly be part of the group who is dumbfounded
as to why it's generating laughs? A DVD rental would be a safer, cheaper risk."
Johnny Betts reviews Casanova, starring Heath Ledger and Sienna
Miller. It does not get 2006 off to a good start.
Coming Next Week...
I'll have a review of Glory Road (and maybe one other movie) and another FS&R article. Should I address
GameStop, Best Buy, or annoying kids who come into the theater before a movie's over? If you have a preference then
let me know. Otherwise I'll just choose the topic I feel the least lazy to write about.
I'll also address what the hardest part of writing movie reviews is. You might be surprised. Also keep an eye out
for more signs of the Apocalypse and a special announcement regarding Firefly. All that and much more in what
will prove to be a monumental week in Movie Mark history.
January 5, 2006
Review: Munich - Revisionism, Spielberg Style
"With Munich it's clear that Spielberg has a point to make. If you're
prone to restlessness then after two and a half hours you'll probably wish it didn't take him so long to make it.
Plus, there's a good chance you won't agree with his point anyway. Throw this in the 'love it or hate it' category.
At the very least Spielberg makes you think. Some of you will think Munich
is a masterpiece while others will just think it's a master piece of, well, I'll let you fill in the blank."
Johnny Betts reviews Munich, starring Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, and Geoffrey
Rush.
I realize that today's review of Munich takes on a more serious tone than
usual. Well, have no fear, tomorrow I will post my review of Heath Ledger's Casanova, and I can assure you that
the tone will be anything less than serious. I can also assure you the review will be less than flattering. Good news
for you, the reader. Bad news for Casanova, the movie.
January 4, 2006
Apocalypse Now: Patrick Swayze Has Lost His Mind
You don't have to look very hard to find a doomsdayer proclaiming that the end of the world is near. Any time a natural
disaster strikes these never-ending sources of entertainment can be found on the street corner, calculator in hand,
explaining the formula they have used to determine the exact date when we can expect our demise.
Well, I say we need look no further than Hollywood and the entertainment industry for real signs of the
coming apocalypse. Welcome to my new segment - Apocalypse Now - where I'll frequently reveal to you the warning
signs and keep you abreast of exactly when you might want to start building that underground bunker. Without further
ado...
Patrick Swayze has announced he is experimenting with rap music. Quit laughing; that's not a joke. Swayze's
inexplicable experimentation involves "rap rhythms as an emotional undercurrent for ballads." I have no idea
what that means other than "disaster."
Before you bust a gut from laughing too hard, you might be interested to know that Swayze is not new to the
rap genre. Apparently, and I just learned this myself, in U.S. rap vernacular, the term "Swayze" means to "leave" or
"disappear." Obviously, this is inspired by Swayze's 1990 hit film Ghost.
Ironically, in U.S. movie vernacular, the term "Swayze" means "to suck" or "to reek." This is derived from every film
he's done since Ghost.
Swayze's presence in the rap world was also felt in 2002 when he starred as an FBI agent in Ja Rule's
video Reign. In U.S. rap vernacular this is typically referred to as "needin' a paycheck."
Swayze has not announced an official release date for his new rap material, but an unconfirmed source stated, "Just
keep an eye in the sky and wait for the clouds to split open. That'll be a good indication."
January 3, 2006
FS&R - Does Not Watching Brokeback Mountain Make You Homophobic?
It's a new year (Happy New Year and all those cliches...), and I have a LOT to rant about - Gamestop, Best Buy, etc.
There's a lot to discuss, so I figured a good way to start off the year would be to give you something that might make
you think a little. Something that you might have an opinion about and would like to respond to. It's going to be a
busy year, so let's get started by tackling the important question that is on everybody's mind...
Does Not Watching Brokeback Mountain Make You Homophobic?
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