 |
|||||||||||||||||||
| "Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan |
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
BREAKING NEWS - OCTOBER 2005October 31, 2005Opening This Week
 This is a very anemic week in terms of new movie releases. At least as far as my interest level is concerned. There are only two wide releases, and neither one sets my heart a' twitter. Chicken Little (3000+ screens) - Chicken Little says the sky is falling, nobody believes him, and then he has to help save everybody when it turns out that an alien invasion is taking place. Verdict I saw this one on Saturday and I feel it is my duty to warn you that this one is solely targeted at those less than 5 years old. The best thing my 10-year-old brother could say about it was, "It was OK." If you think you can possibly sit through a series of musical montages (the most intellectually offensive being the Spice Girls' If You Wanna Be My Lover) that are clearly used to bypass the effort of actually doing something clever, then you may find some sort of enjoyment here. It's mostly harmless, and the last 5 minutes of the movie are inspired, but it'll be hard-pressed to keep the attention of people who can actually form complete sentences. Jarhead (2400 screens) - Based on former Marine Anthony Swofford's best-selling 2003 book about his pre-Desert Storm experiences in Saudi Arabia and about his experiences fighting in Kuwait. Pro + Could be interesting since it's based on one man's actual experiences. Negative - I simply don't like Jake Gyllenhaal. - I've read where a lot of Marines didn't like the book because they felt Swofford was disrespectful to the Marine Corps. Verdict I'll see it on Tuesday, so I'll withhold my opinion until then. October 28, 2005The Movie Mark Invites You to a Free Movie Screening of Just Friends
Are you anywhere near the Memphis area, and would you like to see a FREE, ADVANCED screening of the new Ryan
Reynolds comedy Just Friends? Well, thanks to your friends at the Movie Mark you have the ability to do that.
Just CLICK RIGHT HERE and fill out the form. The first 100 people to sign
up will receive a pass. All entries must be received by November 3rd so that I can send them to the studio so they can
save me some postage and distribute the passes. Thanks for participating.What: Advanced Screening of Just Friends When: Thursday, November 10th at 7:30 PM Where: Malco Cordova in Memphis, TN Who: You and a guest Why: To be cool and see it before everybody else. How Much: FREE! Review: The Legend of Zorro
"Ms. Cali: I would give this film 3 marks - it's a good summer-esque movie if you are in the mood for something
lighthearted and silly and can suspend your disbelief for a couple hours. But unless you are a huge Antonio y Banderas
or CZJ fan (Johnny), skip it and wait until the DVD.
For the first time since their award-winning review of The Alamo, Ms.
Cali and Johnny have joined forces for yet another review. No doubt entertaining themselves more than their readers,
Ms. Cali and Johnny now take on the swashbucklin' antics of The Legend of
Zorro, starring Antonio Banderas and the lovely Catherine Zeta-Jones.Review: Saw II
"There's no doubt that there's money to be made here, but thankfully the story doesn't suffer just for the sake of making a healthy profit against yet another small budget ($4 million). The main element of Saw II's story that really gripped me is its intense unpredictability. A lot of that is due to the fact that you likely won't recognize most of the cast. That's fine with me. If you stick the 5'4" Tom Cruise in that room then there's no doubt that he's going to figure out all the puzzles and save the day. However, put such no-names as Lyriq Bent and Tim Burd in there and you know everybody's fair game!"Johnny reviews Saw II, starring Donnie Wahlberg and Tobin Bell.Hang on, folks, we're not done for the day! Check back shortly as I join forced with Ms. Cali to do a joint review of The Legend of Zorro. Plus, find out how to win free passes for a screening of Just Friends, starring Ryan Reynolds. October 27, 2005Review: The Weather Man
"The tagline for The Weather Man tries to be cute by playing on the weather theme and states, 'bring an umbrella.' Well, allow me to be cute and suggest bringing a pillow instead. A blanket might also be nice. Or better yet, save your time and money and skip this one completely. And believe me; the weather theme doesn't stop with the tagline. Oh no, it must saturate (see what I did there?) the screen! I have no doubt that there will be a few beatniks out there who'll drool over the sage parallels regarding life and weather and how both are equally unpredictable and hard to control. To that I say balderdash. Balderdash, I say!"Johnny reviews the dull and life The Weather Man, starring Nicolas Cage and Michael Caine.October 26, 2005Rocky 6The worst part about all of this is the name of Rocky's opponent in the movie - Mason "The Line" Dixon. At least this has the chance to work really well as an unintentional comedy. We know the Rocky movies aren't scared to use super cheesy names for the opponents (Tommy "Machine" Gunn, anybody?) so I think we should come up with our own. Allow me to offer a few... Tuff Mann Beefy Aarms Chuck Waggonn Charlie "Thoroughbred" Horse Billy Klubb Feel free to email me with your own suggestions. Preview: The Weather ManOctober 25, 2005Trailer: Underworld: EvolutionYou can find the trailer HERE! Enjoy. You're welcome. Opening This WeekPros + Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot. + Well, the first one is good, so there's hope! + Should be plenty of action! Cons - It's a sequel, and we know how they can sometimes turn out. - I have my doubts there'll be any semblance of a story to find. Verdict There's a screening on Thursday. I'll be there. And I'll certainly enjoy watching me some CZJ. But will it be able to offer me more than a couple of hours of eye candy? Saw II (2800+ screens) - Jigsaw is back and this time he has locked a few unlucky people in a booby-trapped home that is filled with a deadly nerve gas. They have 2 hours to figure out the puzzles that will lead them to the antidotes. Verdict I saw this yesterday, and I must say that it was better than I expected. The ending wasn't as good as the original, but this still beats most in the horror genre these days. Look for my review at the end of the week. The Weather Man (1400 screens) - A Chicago weather man (Nicholas Cage), separated from his wife and children, debates whether professional and personal success are mutually exclusive. Pros + Cage's sarcastic humor is perfect for a dark comedy such as this. At least I've heard it's supposed to be a dark comedy. Cons - It's ABOUT A WEATHER MAN! - The trailer almost bored a tear out of my eye. Verdict I'll screen it tonight. I'm not eagerly anticipating it, but I'm secretly hoping it'll exceed my expectations. Prime (1800+ screens) - A career driven professional from the Upper East Side (Uma Thurman) is wooed by a young painter from Brooklyn, who also happens to be the son of her psychoanalyst (Meryl Streep). Pros + I'm sorry, but after reading that plot analysis I just can't seem to find any positives. I'm sure there are some, but I can't see them on the surface. Cons - It stars Meryl Streep. Verdict It was screened while I was out of town, and I'm not too sad that I missed it. October 24, 2005Guess Who's Back...I'd like to say it's good to be back, but I just don't know if I can say it with enough conviction. October 16, 2005The Movie Mark is Going on VacationI'm heading on a week-long vacation to Arizona. I have no idea if I'll have any Internet access at all, so there may not be any updates on the page until Monday, October 24. If I can find an Internet cafe and post periodic updates then I will, but I can't make any promises. Stay tuned, I'll be back soon! Review: The FogOctober 15, 2005Review: Elizabethtown
"I'm actually surprised that Elizabethtown is getting torn to shreds by most critics. Oh well, I suppose it isn't for everybody. It's far from perfect, and a better cast could have really made this something special, but the story and well-written characters are there. If you can't get into the storytelling of the music then you might not like it as much as I did. But for me, Elizabethtown was really a pleasant surprise."Johnny reviews Elizabethtown, starring Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst.Review: Domino
"One of my biggest complaints is that we mainly know that Domino is a bounty hunter because she tells us about 24 times in her narration, which starts to grate on the nerves after a while. I would've preferred to see a little more focus on, you know, her actual bounty hunting. SHOW us why she was a really good bounty hunter; don't just tell us over and over. I was expecting some really cool scenes with Mickey Rourke and Keira hunting down their bounty, showcasing the technical side of the hunt, and wrapping it all up with cool, tough-guy (and girl) bounty hunter stuff. Maybe a little sniping here, a vicious beat down there. Sadly, it never came."Johnny reviews Domino, starring Keira Knightley and Mickey Rourke.October 12, 2005Going to the Movies AloneAnyway, Laslo has more than just a horror story to report - he has a plea, a message he would like to send. There are differing views on whether it's all right to go to the movies by yourself, and I'm sure plenty of you have discussed this with friends before. There's probably a good chance most of you have had to decide yourself whether you were brave enough to go alone. Like that time you couldn't convince anybody to go to that Jean-Claude Van Damme movie with you and you had to decide if you were brave enough to go to the theater and form those 5 embarrassing words, "One for Hard Target, please." Well, Laslo has a very strong opinion on the appropriateness of going to the movies alone. Here's his tale, and the horror story that helped solidify his opinion. Check out Going to the Movies Alone, by Laslo Hollyfeld. The Movie Mark Invites You to a Free Movie Screening of Domino
I know this is late notice, but I've been asked to invite all my Memphis area readers to a FREE screening of
the new Tony Scott film, Domino, TONIGHT at Malco Paradiso. This is based on the true story of Domino
Harvey (played by Keira Knightley) the daughter of actor Laurence Harvey who turned away from her career as a
Ford model to become a bounty hunter.All you have to do is click RIGHT HERE to open up the Word document that contains this pass. Just print it out and take it with you to Malco Paradiso. Remember, this is only for tonight, Wednesday, October 12th. If you don't have Microsoft Word, well, then find someone who does. It's a big file, so give it time to load. Or you might want to choose to save it to your computer and then open it from there and print it. The pass admits two people, but keep in mind that this is rated R for strong violence, pervasive language, sexual content/nudity and drug use. I'd strongly recommend leaving the children at home. October 11, 2005On DVD this Week
"Kingdom of Heaven is at times both entertaining and boring, but it's never emotionally gripping. Bloom gives it his smooth-chested best, but he just isn't able to carry the film on his skinny little shoulders. The story is average, the battle scenes are decent, yet not very original, and none of the characters presented enough personality or charisma to make me either love or loathe them. But I suppose there's enough here to warrant a rental."Special Features:
+ It's not horrible. + Orlando Bloom looks less effeminate than usual. + Beautiful cinematography. + The battle scenes will wake you up from time to time. Cons - Bloom simply doesn't have what it takes to carry an epic like this. - I felt no emotional attachment to the story or its characters. - Historical inaccuracy abounds. - It's long and can get quite boring. Verdict Out of our group of four, I enjoyed this the least. So you might like it more than me. It's decent enough for a rental because this is one of those movies that is better watched on DVD while you can multitask - read the paper, cut your nails, wash the dishes, fold the laundry, have a tickle fight with your significant other, read the Movie Mark, things of that nature. You can stop what you're doing every now and then to watch the battle scenes, but it's really not going to hurt you to miss out on a few lines of dialogue. 
"Kicking & Screaming does get about as cute as a rainbow-colored teddy bear covered in scented roses, snuggled between a bunny and a puppy at times, but thankfully it doesn't overdo it. Ferrell, Duvall, and Ditka all put in winning performances. Avoiding the over-the-top stupidity that dampened Anchorman, Kicking & Screaming is a consistently funny movie that the whole family can enjoy."Special Features:
+ Mike Ditka is hilarious. + Robert Duvall is excellent as always. + Will Ferrell tones down the elements that can make him really annoying. + It's safe for the whole family. Cons - The kids can be a little too cutesy. - The story is a little too predictable and sappy at times. Verdict It's a kid's movie. You might as well go ahead and accept that there are some elements here that are directed totally at children and soccer moms. Other than that, there is enough here to keep the adults entertained. It makes for a good rental for "family night." Also being released: Into the West - I'd recommend at least renting the first disc so you can check out Josh Brolin as Jedediah Smith! Other than that, the mini-series really didn't do much for me. You could tell that it was trying way too hard to be a masterpiece epic. The fact that the characters and actors kept changing from episode to episode was too distracting for me. Unleashed - I didn't see it, but I've been told it's by far Jet Li's best movie. I may check this one out myself. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - Stephanie saw this one and wasn't impressed. October 10, 2005Opening This WeekPros + It's by Cameron Crowe who did give us the excellent Almost Famous. + Jessica Biel's always worth watching. + Tom Petty music in the trailer, woooo! Cons - I don't like Orlando Bloom, I don't like Kirsten Dunst, and one of the least tantalizing things I can think of watching is a relationship bud between the two. - For the most part the trailer is pretty gay. - It received lukewarm audience reactions at film festivals in Toronto and Venice. - Jessica Biel only has a small role. BOOOOO! Verdict I'll see a screening of it on Tuesday, but I don't expect to be blown away. My expectations are about as low as a Lord of the Rings fan on prom night (I prep myself for some nasty emails). I'll go ahead and predict it'll fall within the 2.75 - 3 mark range. Domino (2000 screens) - This is the life story of Domino Harvey, the daughter of actor Laurence Harvey who turned away from her career as a Ford model to become a bounty hunter. Pros + Keira Knightley is cute. + A cute girl playing a bounty hunter is always intriguing to the Betts-meister. Cons - Knightley may be cute, but that hairdo sure isn't. I just don't dig it when a chick's hair is shorter than mine. - Knightley's "I'm Domino Harvey" voice-over in the trailer is a little annoying. - A source who saw the movie last week told me it's "just OK." He wasn't a fan of Tony Scott's editing style. Verdict I'll screen it this Wednesday. I was sort of looking forward to this one, but now I'm starting to have doubts. I'll make a prediction of 3 marks. The Fog (2700+ screens) - Another horror remake. A quiet seaside town is engulfed by a thick fog precisely one century after a boat sunk off the coast under mysterious circumstances. Pros + Maggie Grace from Lost is cute. + Tom "Smallville" Welling should be watchable. + Since I like horror movies I always try to be cautiously optimistic when a new one is being released. Cons - It's a remake, and these days that can go either way. Verdict As of right now they are not screening this one in Memphis. You know what that means? No free screening, no Johnny go watchy. This one may be decent, but I'll probably save it for a rental. There's nothing here to convince me to invest $8 a pop into it. Plus, I'm sure if I paid to go see it I'd just fume over the audience who'd most likely be screaming and giggling way too much. Wow, this week is looking very average at best. It's looking like a good rental might be the way to go. We'll explore those options tomorrow... October 7, 2005Review: In Her Shoes
"CHICK FLICK! Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick fliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick! What else could you possibly expect from a movie about sisters that involves shoes and a search for their grandmother? That's all you need to know. You either like the genre, you don't like the genre, or your girl forces you to watch the genre with her. Accept which one applies to you and go with it. If you're chickflicktose intolerant then this obviously isn't for you."Johnny reviews In Her Shoes, starring Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette, and Shirley MacLaine.There. I'm done with the three reviews I promised I'd post today. You didn't think I'd get them all done, did you? Bunch of naysayers! Review: Waiting...
"Giving The 40-Year Old Virgin a very strong run for its money as the raunchiest film of the year (and probably beating it), Waiting... definitely reminded me of the importance of being nice to your waiter/waitress though. I shudder to think some of that stuff actually might go on in a restaurant's kitchen - very disturbing! But while there were laughs to be had, there were just too many uncomfortable moments for me to thoroughly enjoy the movie or give it a recommendation. But I do recommend being polite to those who serve you."Johnny reviews Waiting..., starring Ryan Reynolds, Anna Faris, and Justin Long.See? I told you the other reviews would be posted soon! Up next - In Her Shoes. Be patient, it's coming soon... Review: Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
"The most impressive aspect about Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the
Were-Rabbit is its clay animation. Thanks to the tedious process, it took FIVE YEARS to finish the film!
According to the press notes, there were some days when the optimum goal was to merely accomplish 10 seconds of
completed film. Folks, I sometimes have trouble finding the motivation to finish responding to a handful of emails
or adding captions to pictures for my reviews; so I can't even imagine having the required patience for that.
Johnny reviews Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit,
starring the voices of Ralph Fiennes and Helena Bonham Carter.Stay tuned, folks, I still have reviews of Waiting and In Her Shoes coming today. They will be posted sometime this afternoon, so check back soon! October 6, 2005Review: Two for the Money
"Ultimately, the movie would have proved more effective if there had been a greater emphasis on the devastation of the lows of losing. Consequences are touched but never fully realized. I would have also liked less predictability in a movie about a very unpredictable lifestyle, but Two for the Money still succeeds in giving the audience a glimpse of what gets in the minds of those willing to gamble. Is it about the game? Is it about the money? Or, as Abrams (Pacino) believes, is it about the risk some people are willing to take to feel what they perceive as being alive?"Johnny reviews Two for the Money, starring a shirtless Matthew McConaughey and a scene-chewing Al Pacino.October 5, 2005The Movie Mark Invites You to a Free Movie Screening of Dreamer
Are you anywhere near the Memphis area, and would you like to see a FREE, ADVANCED screening of Kurt Russell's
Dreamer? Well, thanks to your friends at the Movie Mark you have the ability to do that. Just
CLICK RIGHT HERE and fill out the form. The first 100 people to sign up will
receive a pass. All entries must be received by October 11th so that I can send them to the studio so they can
save me some postage and distribute the passes. Thanks for participating.When: Tuesday, October 18th at 7:30 PM Where: Malco Paradiso in Memphis, TN Who: You and a guest Why: To be cool and see it before everybody else. How Much: FREE! October 4, 2005On DVD This Week: The Interpreter
"Despite the fact that at times it looks like Nicole Kidman and Sean Penn are auditioning for Oscar nominations, as they exchange long, drawn-out speeches, The Interpreter kept me guessing throughout its entire runtime. But there will be times when you'll need to resist the temptation to yell out, 'Yeah, yeah, you both already have Oscars so please just MOVE IT ALONG!' Pretty much whenever you see one of these leads start to squeeze out a tear you know it's time to fluff your pillow and wait it out."Special Features:
Also released this week... Cinderella - Apparently this is the first time this has been released on DVD. I'm aware of this release because my sister has informed me that this is what I can get her for her birthday. Just great. I was planning on picking up something from the $5.50 Wal-Mart bargain bin again (hey, she likes Ernest, what can I say?), but now it looks like I'll have to dig a little deeper in my pocketbook. Sigh. That's life I suppose. October 3, 2005Opening This WeekWaiting... - It's about a group of waiters and their behind-closed-door antics. Stars Ryan Reynolds. I've already seen this one, and I'll post my review on Friday. It has some hilarious moments, but there are some extremely disgusting ones as well. This is definitely not for the easily offended. However, if you watch it then I can guarantee you'll make sure to be nice to waiters and waitresses in the future. Very disturbing stuff. Two for the Money - Has something to do with sports gambling. Stars Al Pacino and Matthew McConaughey. I'll screen it on Tuesday, and I predict that Pacino will chew the scenery at least twice. I also predict McConaughey with seduce someone. Call it a gut feeling. I heard they're already working on the sequel - Three for the Show. Man I'm hilarious. In Her Shoes - It's a Cameron Diaz dramedy. She clashes with her sister or something. Maybe they shop for shoes together? Dunno. All I know for sure is I smell chick flick! I won't be seeing it because it's being screened on Tuesday also, and Two for the Money wins out because it looks more my style. Plus Stephanie is a McConaughey fangirl, so In Her Shoes never really had a chance. UPDATE - Forget what I just said. There's a screening on Thursday. So I might see it after all. We'll see. Hold your breath and just hope that the anticipation doesn't kill you. ANOTHER UPDATE - Oops, now I don't know what to do. There's a screening of Domino on Thursday, but there's also one next week so I figured I'd catch that one. However, I just realized that there's a screening of North Country next week on the same night as Domino. So I have to decide whether I'd prefer to see an In Her Shoes/Domino combo or a Domino/North Country combo. Decisions, decisions. |
HOME PAGE  Hancock Get Smart The Incredible Hulk The Strangers Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Young at Heart Iron Man Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed The Forbidden Kingdom  Weekend Results: 1. Hancock($62,603,879) 2. Wall-E($32,509,203) 3. Wanted($20,050,070) 4. Get Smart($11,109,408) 5. Kung Fu Panda($7,318,635) |
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
Copyright © 2004 The Movie Mark. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of these reviews or any of the original material on this site is allowed without prior permission from Johnny Betts. Comply or suffer the consequences of Johnny's size 11 biker boot. Wanna be a Movie Mark? Send Johnny Betts an email (johnny_betts@hotmail.com) to be added to the list or complete: The Movie Mark Questionnaire.
|
|
||||||