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BREAKING NEWS - SEPTEMBER 2004September 30, 2004Highwaymen
"Highwaymen isn't exactly revolutionary; it's just fun. It's
dark, it's brooding, and it's got a chip on its shoulder. Rumor has it that it just signed a contract to
appear in a pilot for the WB. And though I don't go to the drive-in, for some reason I feel compelled to say
that this movie feels like a drive-in classic. I love the scene where Rhona is shifting the clutch in her
cute little bare feet! See Hollywood? Sometimes I'm easy to please.
Check out Johnny's full review of Highwaymen, starring Jim
Caviezel and the lovely Rhona Mitra. Coming Friday... reviews of both Ladder 49 and Shark Tale.September 29, 2004Johnny Betts' 2004 WB Primetime PreviewI still haven't forgiven the WB for cancelling The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. Oh well, we do get Commando Nanny though! Give me a break. What genius made that decision? Oh well, check out my 2004 WB Primetime Preview to see exactly what they have to offer. September 28, 2004Johnny Betts' 2004 UPN Primetime Preview
Welp, this is about as unattractive as TV can get. There's ONE new show that actually looks like it's worth
checking out - Veronica Mars. If anybody has seen it, then please let me know what you think. The best
thing I can say about UPN is that it doesn't offer programming on Saturday and Sunday. Granted, my skin
color is probably a little too light to really enjoy most of these shows, but still. I don't think I've seen
programming that has appealed to me less since the days when I'd be at my grandparents and was forced to sit through
marathons of The Golden Girls and Mama's Family. Check out my
2004 UPN Primetime Preview to see what you're not really missing out
on.Conan O'Brien To Replace Jay Leno As the Tonight Show HostHang on, folks, this week I've got reviews of Ladder 49 and Shark Tale coming. I've already seen Ladder 49, and it's great. Some of the best acting I've seen this year. But let me just say you might wanna go ahead and pick up some Kleenex before Friday. And I'm getting close to finishing my Highwaymen review! Don't get your hopes up though. The length that it's taken me to finish the review most likely will not equate to an increase in quality. September 27, 2004Johnny Betts' 2004 NBC Primetime PreviewI'll have my previews of UPN and WB done this week. After that, I'll create a little grid and let you know what your best bets are each night. Plus, I'll probably rant a little on how a lot of my favorite shows don't make it to a second season. Not that anybody cares, but SOMEBODY needs to remind everybody how hard it is for good, quality programming to succeed. Watch for more changes to the Movie Mark this week. The rash of hate mail from British fans who don't seem to understand that some people might have opinions about comedy that differ from theirs has convinced me to add a "Hate Mail" section to the site. I'll post the best jabs taken at me, and then I'll respond with my usual sarcastic and witty barbs. It'll be fun. It's an attempt to show that I can take criticism, but if you're gonna criticize then you better be intelligent about it. September 24, 2004Shaun of the Dead - Overhyped and Underwhelming
"And please don't tell me I just don't understand British humor. Folks, I get the joke, it just ain't that funny. If this is the best the British have to offer these days in regard to comedy, then I've never been prouder to be an American."Once again, the critics are lavishing praise on a movie that doesn't deserve it. And I honestly thought I'd enjoy this movie. Oh well, if you've followed me long enough then you know I love when I get be the voice of dissension AND the voice of reason. Check out my review of Shaun of the Dead because it's high time somebody warned you about it.Feel free to discuss this or anything else you like at The Movie Mark Lobby. September 23, 2004Johnny Betts' 2004 Fox Primetime PreviewThe Forgotten
The Forgotten is a solid thriller that delivers a good mystery and some of the best jump scenes I've seen in a while. If you wanna cause yourself heartache and nitpick over some minor plot holes, then go ahead and be a little curmudgeon. But what's the point? Allow yourself to be entertained for an hour and a half. It won't hurt. This is a very good date movie, but guys, do a few reps beforehand because your gal might be grabbing your arm quite a bit, and it's best if that's not an embarrassing situation for you.It's a contender for best thriller of the year! Johnny Betts reviews The Forgotten, starring Julianne Moore and Dominic West.Also, check back later this morning for my 2004 Fox Primetime Preview. Coming tomorrow... my review of the overhyped Shaun of the Dead. September 22, 2004Johnny Betts' 2004 CBS Primetime Preview
September 21, 2004Johnny Betts' 2004 ABC Primetime Preview
Does ABC have anything worth watching this season? Not really, but there are a couple of shows worth giving a look.
And since some of them start this week, then you'll want to hurry up and read my
2004 ABC Primetime Preview. It'll take you about 5 minutes, you'll
be entertained, and you might learn something as well.I won't guarantee that, but you never know. I know your time is too precious to waste watching every single show that comes on TV, so as part of my public service I'm gonna let you know what you should avoid and what might be worth a little of your time. No need to thank me too much, although cash gifts are accepted. RIP - Timothy Speedle Speed had valiantly served the CSI: Miami show for two seasons, garnering a fan club of about seven people. He will always be remembered for his lack of charisma and unemotional line delivery. Rory Cochrane, the actor who portrayed Speed, decided it was time for him to move on to the next stage in his career - appearing in movies nobody will ever hear about. When reached for comment, David Caruso put his hands on his hips, stared straight into a camera and dead-panned, "Looks like he ran out of speed." September 20, 2004Movie Mark Reviewers Disagree About SCATWOTThe Last Shot/A look at This Week
"The Last Shot is a great movie with a completely absurd plot, true story or not. But the absurdity does not really matter, because the movie is well-written, well-acted, and a lot of fun."Ms. Cali reviews The Last Shot, starring Alec Baldwin, Matthew Broderick, and Tony Shaloub. Apparently, Michael Keaton was busy.Are y'all ready for an exciting week? Coming by Friday I'll have reviews of Shaun of the Dead (boy was this movie an overrated disappointment) and The Forgotten (I'll see it on Wednesday and am looking forward to it). Also, I'm finally putting together my primetime previews! My ABC preview will be ready by Tuesday. From there I'll review the lineups of CBS, Fox, NBC, and UPN. Johnny Betts - helping you wade through the crap. Oh, and I've created some new images for my rating system. Now movies can officially be rated with 1/4 rankings. If that's not exciting news in the movie world, then I don't know what is. September 17, 2004Nemesis Game
"If you like movies that will give you a few thrills and make you think then Nemesis Game is a solid rental. However, I must warn you that your frustration level is bound to be quite high after the inexplicable ending. If you absolutely cannot stand movies that are left open for personal interpretation, then this may prove to be a little too annoying for your tastes. Otherwise, engage your brain and see if you can figure out the puzzle."If you're looking for a solid thriller to rent this weekend, then go ahead and take a chance on Nemesis Game. I need to get more people to watch it so that I can come up with a reasonable solution as to what in the world was going on! Check out my full review of Nemesis Game, starring the lovely Carly Pope and Mr. Highlander TV Series boy, Adrian Paul.September 16, 2004Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
"SCATWOT does a good job of paying homage to older films but fails to provide anything new. The visuals are great, but the action and story drag during the second half. This is a film you'll watch, enjoy, and forget about 10 minutes later."I know everybody is sorely disappointed, but I had a softball game on Monday (we won 9-4), so I gave my pass to Mr. Shade and he took the reviewing duties. Big shoes to fill, I know. I asked Mr. Shade if he wanted to stand by his statement that SCATWOT "fails to provide anything new." He says he stands by it. While the movie does take the innovative approach of filming everything in front of blue screen, Shade says as far as the story and actual effects go, it's nothing we haven't seen before. Email HIM if you want to argue the point, not me. I'll see the movie eventually, and when I do I'll let you know what I think.Another informant of mine seemed to enjoy the film a little more than Shade. She's a member of an older generation, and she told me that she doesn't think the young pups here at the Movie Mark will fully appreciate all the old movie references. However, she agrees with Shade that there really needed to be a stronger, more defined main bad guy. For those of you dying to read a Johnny Betts review this week, never fear! I'll post my review of Nemesis Game tomorrow. September 15, 2004Cell Phones + Quiet Theater = Don't MixIf you wanna hear me rant about people using their cell phones during a movie, and if you're interested in my solution, then please read on to find out why Cell Phones + Quiet Theater = Don't Mix. And thanks to one of my friends here at work, I've got another WWWP article coming up about people who refuse to buy used DVDs. Stay tuned. September 14, 2004Johnny Displays His Unbelievable Kindness
"If you're not a fan of long historical dramas, you could do worse than to wet your feet with Vanity Fair. It is rich with character, color, and sensuality, scraping away facades to reveal raw human emotions. There's a character for everyone to identify with. And guys, try not to put up too much of a fight if your gal suggests this movie - if nothing else, you’ll definitely enjoy the fashions of the times.I must admit, this isn't a movie I've felt compelled to move Heaven and earth to see. But Ms. Ang loves this kind of stuff, so more power to her! Check out her tafetta bow wrapped review of Reese Witherspoon's Vanity Fair.And Mr. Shade is back with a video game review... 
"As much as I enjoyed Thief it's not for everyone. The game is slow paced and often requires watching and waiting instead of running and gunning. Children will most likely get bored with it and the average gamer probably won't 'get' this game either. If you like games with good atmosphere or stealth games or the medieval fantasy environment then this will have something for you. For everyone else, well, Halo 2 comes out November 9th.Well, I gotta admit that I'm one of those people who just couldn't fully get into it. It's an all right game, and it has its moments, but it's just not my preferred style. And 20 hours is a LONG time to walk slowly around the city trying not to be seen. Mr. Shade loved it though, so check out his review of Thief: Deadly Shadows.September 13, 2004THE WORLD PREMIERE OF DREAMWORKS ANIMATION'S "SHARK TALE" MAKES A SPLASH AT THE VENICE FILM FESTIVAL
Well, I'm real cool now, and the fact that I have at least 10 loyal readers, has allowed me the opportunity to get
on at least a couple of press lists. So what does that mean? Basically, I'll periodically get press releases and
get to act like a real insider and post them. In other words, I get to pretend I'm more important than I actually
am.Anyway, if you're looking forward to the upcoming release of DreamWorks' Shark Tale then you may be interested in the following story. The world premiere was on September 10 and was screened outdoors in Venice, an unprecedented event. "The stars were under the stars at tonight's world premiere of DreamWorks Animation's new computer-animated comedy Shark Tale in Venice, Italy. Will Smith, Robert De Niro, Angelina Jolie and Michael Imperioli walked the red carpet where they were greeted by eager fans waiting to see the movie. Also in attendance were directors Vicky Jenson, Bibo Bergeron and Rob Letterman; producer Bill Damaschke; and executive producer Jeffrey Katzenberg. The premiere, which is part of the Venice Film Festival, was held in the city's historic Piazza San Marco, marking the first time ever that the Piazza was closed for the premiere of a major feature film. 
Inside the square, the sell-out crowd of 5,000-plus cheered the stars, who were introduced prior to the start of
the film. The end of the film was met with a long ovation and many of the attendees stayed well after for an
opportunity to congratulate the cast and filmmakers in person.In preparation for the event, the Piazza San Marco was transformed into a giant outdoor theatre, complete with the largest inflatable screen in the world. A magnificent city on water, Venice, Italy, was the perfect site to premiere an undersea comedy, but it also demanded some logistical maneuvering. All of the equipment for the premiere had to be brought to the site on barges, as there are obviously no roads in the city. In addition, the three generators needed to power the event, had to be placed on floating barges just offsite." Unfortunately, I wasn't invited to the event. Sounds like it was pretty cool. Shark Tale will open nationwide on October 1, 2004. September 10, 2004Resident Evil
"If you're in the mood for an all-out, non-stop thrill ride that is intent on preventing you from catching your breath, and you don't insist on the deepest story in the world, then there's really no reason not to see Resident Evil: Apocalypse. And ladies, I know I've gone on about the lovely Milla, but if you have the slightest interest in zombie movies or you just like fast-paced action with a serving of gore, then there's plenty for you to enjoy as well."Check out Johnny's review of Resident Evil: Apocalypse, starring Johnny's favorite heroine, Milla Jovovich.Cellular
"Cellular is just plain fun. It's a movie that's also fun to make fun of afterwards, except it's really not all that bad! Is it perfect? Nah. Are there plot contrivances and logic problems? Sure. But don't worry about it. If you're the least bit interested in it, then leave your "Movie Overanalyzation Methods" book at home and go check it out."Johnny reviews Cellular, starring generic pretty boy Chris Evans and the bad acting of Kim Basinger.September 9, 2004DVD Pick of the WeekMiscComing soon... the Johnny Betts Fall TV preview. I make my predictions on what new shows might be worth your time and which ones should probably be avoided. I'll go ahead and tell you that if David Alan Grier has a new show, then don't bother, it'll be cancelled within two months. September 8, 2004Where's My Violin?Actually, Alec, the experience of watching most of your recent movies is akin to having a suppository inserted into the cavities of the movie-going public. Having "too many movies to promote" has made you undeservedly rich, so if you don't like it then feel free to retire, step out of the public, and quit your whining. Your bro Stephen hasn't always been the pickiest person in the world when choosing his movie roles, but at least he knows how to enjoy life and not take everything so seriously. You could learn something from him. That's my mini-rant for the day. Now check out Karen's bad movie experience - You Gotta Keep it Real. And let's all wish Stephanie a happy 29th birthday! September 7, 2004Hollywood - You Should Start Listening to MeHey Hollywood, I have a minor in Math, and I know that numbers talk. Give me a call. I can offer you valuable advice, and you can offer me quite a bit of money. You made Corey Feldman rich, so you can surely do the same for me. Coming this week... reviews of Cellular, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Highwaymen, and possibly The Last Shot. I still have Michael Pare's The Closer to review. And if Mr. Shade is reading, then yes, I'll post your video game review of Thief: Deadly Shadows. September 3, 2004Paparazzi
They didn't have an advanced screening of Paparazzi, and that's a shame. Why is it a shame? Because if I want
to see it then I'll have to pay, and that just ain't right! It looks somewhat interesting in a guilty pleasure sort
of way. Paparazzi stars Cole Hauser (aka Matthew McConaughey Clone #3) as Bo Laramie, a celebrity who decides
to get all Rambo on a photographer who gets a little too close up in his face. Since I haven't seen the movie, I
can't verify the rumor that Zell Miller co-stars as Laramie's sidekick who punks out loudmouth Chris Matthews after
he hounds Laramie's wife during an interview.Check out my Wicker Park review because that's the only new movie I saw this week. Reese Witherspoon's Vanity Fair wasn't screened. Queen Latifah's The Cookout was screened, but I really needed to shave and trim my fingernails, so I skipped it. September 2, 2004Wicker Park
"You'll have to forgive me, but watching Josh Hartnett dance in slow motion or make out with a girl in slow motion is nothing but fast forward material for ol' Johnny Betts. Girls who love Hartnett will love this sort of thing, but guys like me will turn to their buddy and start making fun of it. The beatniks will stroke their pencil-thin coffeehouse goatees while discussing the symbolism of two characters drinking coffee out of wine glasses, but I just kept wanting to get back to the meat of the story."Wicker Park is a fairly entertaining movie, but it really starts to drag whenever it's obvious that the movie is trying way too hard to be "profoundly artistic." Check out Johnny's review of Wicker Park, starring the personality-challenged Josh Hartnett, Diane Kruger, Rose Byrne, and Matthew Lillard.September 1, 2004DVD Pick of the Week
Well, Twisted is being released this week on DVD. As most of you know,
it stars Ashley Judd with absolutely the worst hairdo of her career. It's not one I really recommend unless you
don't have anything else to rent. And if that's the case, then you've seen way too many movies in your lifetime,
chico.I'd suggest The Passion of the Christ since it's also released this week. However, if you're in the mood to whistle ditties and dance to showtunes, then this probably isn't your best choice this week. The Passion of the Christ is heavy stuff, and it's best seen when you're in the right, reflective mood. Garden StateComing tomorrow, my review of Wicker Park. |
HOME PAGE  Yes Man Transporter 3 Four Christmases Twilight Quantum of Solace Ghouls Eagle Eye Righteous Kill Tropic Thunder  Weekend Results: 1. Watchmen($55,214,334) 2. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail($8,532,412) 3. Taken($7,334,814) 4. Slumdog Millionaire($6,808,383) 5. Paul Blart: Mall Cop($4,146,316) |
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Copyright © 2004 The Movie Mark. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of these reviews or any of the original material on this site is allowed without prior permission from Johnny Betts. Comply or suffer the consequences of Johnny's size 11 biker boot. Wanna be a Movie Mark? Send Johnny Betts an email (johnny_betts@hotmail.com) to be added to the list or complete: The Movie Mark Questionnaire.
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