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| "Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan |
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MOVIE CONFESSIONSby Johnny Betts *takes deep breath* Time to get this off my chest... When I was in high school I had two best friends. There was one that I went to high school with and one who I was still good friends with from elementary. Those two worlds didn't collide until my freshman year of college. Prior to that I would hang out with these two friends separately. The biggest thing to do on the weekends back in those days was to go to the movies. You know what that means? Sometimes both friends would want to see the same movie. Too scared to suggest we all go to the theater together, I'd go see a particular movie with Best Friend #1 on Friday and then see the same movie on Saturday with Best Friend #2. Despite being a total waste of money, this wasn't a horrible situation if the movie was good. However, the problem is that back in the day high school boys had too much of a tendency to be drawn to Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. That means that not only did I pay to see Hard Target at the theater, but I paid to see it TWICE. Yeah. I was 18 years old. I should've known better. I should've also known better than to play air guitar as Creedence's Born on the Bayou played over the closing credits. Creedence Clearwater Revival is the greatest rock band of all time (up yours, Beatles and Rolling Stones!), but folks, it's just never cool to play air guitar at the theater where people can see you as they're leaving. I could stop here, but I feel I must confess everything, and this is the most embarrassing... *ahem* As those Bayou-tinged credits rolled, I turned to my friend and said, "I want to try to grow the five o'clock shadow beard that Van Damme was sportin'! That ruled." *hangs head* I've been holding that in for 13 years. I now feel truly liberated. Send your confessions to me and let the healing process begin. |
HOME PAGE  Eagle Eye Righteous Kill Tropic Thunder Traitor Death Race Star Wars: Clone Wars The Dark Knight Journey to the Center of the Earth Hancock  Weekend Results: 1. Beverly Hills Chihuahua($29,300,465) 2. Eagle Eye($17,709,817) 3. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist($11,311,751) 4. Nights in Rodanthe($7,368,259) 5. Appaloosa($5,050,310) |
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Copyright © 2004 The Movie Mark. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of these reviews or any of the original material on this site is allowed without prior permission from Johnny Betts. Comply or suffer the consequences of Johnny's size 11 biker boot. Wanna be a Movie Mark? Send Johnny Betts an email (johnny_betts@hotmail.com) to be added to the list or complete: The Movie Mark Questionnaire.
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