 |
|||||||||||||||||||
| "Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan |
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
MOVIE HORROR STORIESby Sam D. I went to see Hide and Seek (bad enough really) with two of my best cinema-going friends and 10 seconds before the movie started (which is bad enough as it is) a group of twenty (no exaggeration) classic examples of chav hood (sorry if that's too much of a Brit thing to say) took up the entire row in front and some twelve year olds took up the row behind. Silently I covered my growing anger as they chatted inanely through the previews (which me and my friend Cat felt like smacking them for but we're Brits so we didn't say anything). The movie began and the real travesty (aside from the floundering of De Niro's career) began. First there was the classic phone going off which was greeted with loud sighs, tutting, and general scorning. Then, and worst of all, came the screaming. Usually that's what I love about seeing a film in a group environment - the shared reaction. I love hearing people laugh at a funny bit or gasp when something makes them jump, but this was beyond a joke. They would scream, and I mean scream, not just "scary movie" scream but "oh my gosh I'm being murdered" scream every 5 minutes. For those of you who haven't seen the film that is entirely unnecessary. For those of you who have, one example of this purely idiotic behavior (this isn't a spoiler) is when the camera focuses in on a key (that's all, it focuses on something other than Dakota Fanning's scary "trauma ridden" face) they screamed. This would result in the entire group laughing uncontrollably. Give me a break! By doing this not only did I leave the cinema with an intense need to write a letter to Mr. De Niro's agent but also to take a mallet to every one of them. I mean if you seriously found it that scary then stick to The Magic Roundabout movie, and if you were trying to be funny, then well done you succeeded in the level of humour that causes those with a metal age of two to squirt coke out of their noses. Your mother would be proud; the rest of us just wish she'd kept her legs closed. P.S. I forgot to mention that the twelve year olds who sat behind us - at least two of them would have stared at you vacantly if you mentioned the words shower, deodorant, soap, and clean to them, if you know what I mean. Truly the worst cinema experience ever, but we complained and got free tickets to see anything we wanted anytime we liked. he he Johnny: What exactly is a "metal age"? Is it a Brit thing? Now that I have at least two British fans who like me I think I need to start getting familiar with the lingo. Moral of the Story: If you experience a movie horror story then complain to management. You just might get something free out of it. Send your stories to me and let the whole world know just how dangerous going to the movies can be. |
HOME PAGE  Star Wars: Clone Wars The Dark Knight Journey to the Center of the Earth Hancock Get Smart The Incredible Hulk The Strangers Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Young at Heart  Weekend Results: 1. The Dark Knight($26,117,030) 2. Pineapple Express($23,245,025) 3. The Mummy 3($16,490,970) 4. Traveling Pants 2($10,678,430) 5. Step Brothers($9,128,662) |
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
Copyright © 2004 The Movie Mark. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of these reviews or any of the original material on this site is allowed without prior permission from Johnny Betts. Comply or suffer the consequences of Johnny's size 11 biker boot. Wanna be a Movie Mark? Send Johnny Betts an email (johnny_betts@hotmail.com) to be added to the list or complete: The Movie Mark Questionnaire.
|
|
||||||