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| "Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan |
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MOVIE HORROR STORIESby Felix V. So, I was going to see Star Wars Episode 3, a movie I've been anxiously awaiting for a year. Johnny, being a hardcore fan like I am, you'll personally be annoyed by this story. So I decided to catch the matinee on a Thursday afternoon where I was sure there'd be no crowds and/or kids. So, I went in, got my ticket, and sat in the middle near the front, and again let me emphasize my utter excitement - it was like a five year old looking up at Santa Claus. So my suspicions ended up being wrong and there's a small crowd - old people, the unemployed, and a mom and her son. Up front a row is a black man and what looks like his little brother. Well, I'm anxiously awaiting the start of the movie and this man is going on and on and on about Star Wars aloud. Right away I knew his enthusiasm would be the bane of my movie-going experience. And this was Star Wars (!), I wanted the theater quiet. You can always tell before a movie who will be noisy and who won't. Well, I appreciate enthusiasm about a movie; I like it, and if he was a Star Wars fan like me, then great, but it's a movie, so shut up. I'm a hardcore fan, as hardcore as can be, and I was quiet throughout the entire movie. This man wasn't shy about his enthusiasm, unfortunately. Once the Star Wars title began he hooted. As the movie started he was talking low - pointing out the amazing effects to his brother and waving his arms, pointing up in a very distracting manner like it was a sight-seeing tour. Well, his enthusiasm didn't die down and his habits became increasingly annoying, and I became increasingly angry. I'm trying to focus and for every bit of dialogue he's reacting: Movie: We must save the chancellor from Grievous. Man: (Loudly) Huh! Movie: Anakin, I have great plans for you. Man: (Loudly) Huh! He sure does. Mace Windu: In the name of the Galactic Senate, you're under arrest, Chancellor. Man: Huh. Supreme Chancellor: Are you threatening me, Master Jedi? Man: Huh. Mace Windu: The senate will decide your fate. Man: (Loudly) Huh! I know that's right. Well, I moved two rows down and was forced with a decision - either break the mood and ask him to shut up and risk causing an argument, OR endure it and watch the movie. Being the civil guy I was raised to be, I took the high road -I moved away from him very noticeably and focused. I made it through the movie, but I'd have preferred no commentary. I appreciate enthusiasm for an excellent movie, but people, I beg you, no commentary! The movie was excellent, the experience terrible, and people wonder why I never go to movie theaters. Johnny: This has happened to me enough times that I think it can be officially labeled an epidemic. I honestly think some people believe that they're entertaining the rest of the audience with their banter and quips. Either that, or people are just rude. Moral of the Story: We can listen to commentary when the DVD is released. No one from DreamWorks is in the audience, so please quit acting like this is a commentary tryout. Send your stories to me and let the whole world know just how dangerous going to the movies can be. |
HOME PAGE  Journey to the Center of the Earth Hancock Get Smart The Incredible Hulk The Strangers Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Young at Heart Iron Man Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed  Weekend Results: 1. The Dark Knight($158,411,483) 2. Mamma Mia!($27,751,240) 3. Hancock($14,040,178) 4. Journey to the Center of the Earth($12,340,435) 5. Hellboy 2($10,117,815) |
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