Movie Minutiae - Card Carrying Member of the Bon Jovi Secret Society
By Johnny Betts, Moviegoer Advocate
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Ah, the trials and tribulations of youth. Let's go back to 1986. I was but a young lad of 11, and I was in the 6th
grade. Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet was all the rage, and I think I was the only kid left in class who didn't
have a copy.
Talking my mom into getting me the tape was not an easy task. She nearly had a heart attack when she saw the Social
Disease song title. "Oh, Jason Pyron's mother had the same concern at first, but all the song says is 'Love is a
social disease.'" Jason Pyron was one of the "good" kids in class. All I had to do was tell my mom that Jason's mom
approved and I was set to go.
My mom got me the Slippery When Wet tape. Whilst perusing the inside cover I saw where you could become a member
of the Bon Jovi Secret Society for only $10. I ran to my mom and asked if I could join. She wasn't thrilled about it,
but after much deliberation she relented and said I could, but I'd have to pay for it myself.
What a deal. For $10 I got 4 newsletters and 3 color 8 X 10s. The most memorable 8 X 10 was one with Bon Jovi wearing a
red codpiece. I'm sure I still have those pictures somewhere, but they're probably packed away in the attic. I also got
a cool paper membership card with my name typed on it! How special I felt.
The best day was when the first newsletter came. I got home from school and saw it on the table. I took it upstairs
and immediately starting reading it as if it were a well-crafted Johnny Betts review. Then I came to the part where
Tito or somebody said he thanked God every day for his success. BINGO! Bon Jovi was just a big ol' Christian band! I'd
show my mom this snippet and she'd praise me for listening to such uplifting music from such admirable role models. I
just knew she'd be so impressed that she'd probably offer to renew my subscription for me when it ran out.
If it were only so easy. I showed my mom that quote, but then she proceeded to show me about 20 different cuss words
that my dad found when he was looking through it before I got home from school. Seems I hadn't gotten to those parts
yet. My mom then started going on and on about how she couldn't believe I paid $10 to read that trash and how she
regretted letting me join the club and how this was the biggest mistake of all time. I simply hung my head and slowly
walked out of the room as her complaints faded further and further into the background. Mission ... not
accomplished.
But I still think that if she had seen the codpiece picture she would've been singing a different tune.
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