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The 11 Biggest Missed Opportunities in '80s Movies Using '80s Music
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Here is a list of 11 movies that I strongly feel SHOULD have been made using '80s songs as inspiration. Those of us who grew up in the '80s have a certain fondness for the cheesy
movies and even cheesier songs that decade produced. But you know what? There were several opportunities that I can't believe Hollywood missed. I present to you the films that
I would have greenlighted had I been a high-dollar Hollywood exec who had the power to do such things.
Unfortunately, two movies that I was really proud of, that I thought were my original creations - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun and Against All Odds - are indeed real
movies. The former stars Sarah Jessica Parker, the latter stars Jeff Bridges. Too bad. My version of Against All Odds would have been much better because it would have
starred Sylvester Stallone as an ex-cop who had to overcome some sort of odds (not unlike an arm wrestling tournament) to win custody of his son.
What could have been. Ah well, I came up with two suitable replacements, so we'll all go home happy. Enjoy.
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#11 WORD UP
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STARRING: Eddie Murphy
TAGLINE: It's the code word.
SYNOPSIS: Plot? Yeah right. This story has about as much depth to it as a political discussion with Paris Hilton. Eddie Murphy
is a sucker DJ who does his dance, and he does it quick. Rest assured, when he waves his hands in the air, he waves them like he doesn't care. Then he proceeds
to glide by the people as they start to look and stare.
He's long avoided romance, but one day he meets the woman who could be the answer to his prayers. He acts real cool, but will she be the one who can show him he's
merely acting like a fool?
AWESOMENESS FACTOR: It's generally accepted that as a movie this would blow major chunks. At no point would anybody in the
production even attempt to pretend they're concerned with quality. It would serve as nothing more than a quick attempt to make a buck off Eddie Murphy's name
and the popularity of Cameo's 1986 hit Word Up! Had it been made, it would forever be known as "the poop patty sandwiched between the Golden
Child and Beverly Hills Cop 2 turd burger."
But you know what catapults this right onto the awesome list? You got it - a cameo by Cameo! Picture the scenario - Eddie Murphy is waiting in line to get into
a popular club. Cameo is the bouncer at the door, and he asks, "What's the code word?" Immediately after Murphy replies, "Word up," we hear somebody off screen
yell, "I heard that!" If you even dare tell me this wouldn't cause a smile to ripple across your face then you are either a liar or devoid of any sense of
style.
Check out the lyrics to Word Up if this makes absolutely no sense to you.
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#10 WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME
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STARRING: John Cusack, Ally Sheedy
TAGLINE: When he goes there, he goes there with her.
SYNOPSIS: Two kids from opposite sides of the tracks attempt to overcome their parents' objections and the stress of their senior year just to be
together. But their love won't have a chance to grow in their current surroundings. They have to find a place where nobody knows them, where no obstacles stand in their way,
where the pressures of daily life cease to exist, and where the streets have no name...
AWESOMENESS FACTOR: You know it and I know it - the soft opening keyboard of this song, building into a guitar crescendo, is PERFECT for a pre-closing
credits monologue of hope and opportunity. I can see it now - a young John Cusack standing on a hill, looking down over the city, the sun beating down on his face, the wind gently
blowing his Lloyd Dobler-esque trench coat, as he reflects on life, laughter, and love...
We hear his narration, which is basically a reworking of the lyrics:
"Our love turned to rust that winsome summer. We were beaten and blown by the wind. Trampled into dust. But you know, as I stood there on that laconic hill, overlooking the
bright lights of the city, I realized that I wanted nothing more than to show her a place. A place high on the desert plain. Where the streets *dramatic pause* the streets have no
name."
Then we see the forlorn look on his face, as expressed by the downturn of his mouth, transform into a knowing and wistful smile. The type of movie smile that always depicts
a return to innocence. A smile that represents a character's final realization of the right thing to do. As he smiles, Cusack turns and begins to walk away, presumably back into the
arms of his true love, Ally Sheedy. Roll credits and play the song out.
I just got goosebumps, and if you're honest, then you'll admit that you did too.
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