"Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan
	Movie Minutiae - Why Johnny Betts Refused to Watch Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo for Free By Johnny Betts, Moviegoer Advocate Contact Johnny I struggled all week with whether or not I should attend the screening of the Deuce Bigalow sequel (I'm absolutely shocked they didn't call it Deuce Bigalow Deuce). I knew the movie would be bad, but would it be so deliciously bad that it'd be worth my time to rake it over the coals in one of my typically funny, biting reviews? After all, I've already refused to waste my time with a few screenings this year (The Honeymooners, The Perfect Man, etc.), so I'm in serious need of seeing some more bad movies in order to fill out my "Top 10 Worst of the Year" list. The more commercials I saw for Deuce the less I felt like going to the trouble of driving to the theater and watching it for 90 minutes. After making it through three different trailers and failing to crack a smile during any of them, I just didn't know if I could do it. I did some serious soul searching and asked myself, "Do I really need to see Rob Schneider waddling around in a diaper? Is that really the best use of my time?" Mr. Shade tried to convince me to go, "Come on, it could be good!" Yeah. And Tom Cruise could really be straight, huh? Then came the revelation that I needed to finalize my decision. I read that there was a character who had male genitalia for a nose and that when she sneezes, well, I don't have to explain any further. That did it. If that sounds like your idea of a good time, then you obviously have lower standards than I do. I finally decided to look at it like this - I'm a fairly intelligent guy. My intelligence has been there with me on many occasions and has helped me out of many a tight spot. Now if a family member was constantly helping you out only to have you mock him and spit in his face, then that really wouldn't be the nice thing to do, now would it? So would it be fair for me to knowingly insult my intelligence in such an abrasive manner by subjecting it to such stupidity? No, no it wouldn't. And I'm not going to get in a big religious or philosophical discussion here, but time is precious and God-given, right? So is it wise for me to twitter away hours of my life watching Rob Schneider sequels? I just could not find a benefit to that. It'd be hard for me to justify those 90 minutes to the big guy if I were ever put in a position to do so. But I think I've seen enough of the trailers to judge how much I'd like this movie, so if the studio wants a quote from me then allow me to offer this: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo - It's so bad that it takes laughs AWAY FROM The Wedding Crashers!	RETURN TO HOME PAGE The Dark Knight Journey to the Center of the Earth Hancock Get Smart The Incredible Hulk The Strangers Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Young at Heart Iron Man Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed Weekend Results: 1. The Dark Knight($158,411,483) 2. Mamma Mia!($27,751,240) 3. Hancock($14,040,178) 4. Journey to the Center of the Earth($12,340,435) 5. Hellboy 2($10,117,815)

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