Movie Minutiae - Lionsgate Preview - Fall/Winter 2006
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Below is a list of upcoming releases through December for Lionsgate Films. The synopses come straight from the
studio - you know I'd never use such flowery language to describe these films. My expectations and insights are
included. Release dates are subject to change. My opinions are subject to be highly accurate.
CRANK - September 1
Synopsis: Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is about to begin his morning with an
unexpected wake-up call. Groggy, practically unable to move and with a heart that’s barely beating, Chev
answers his cell phone and hears the voice of thug Ricky Verona, who reveals Chev has been poisoned in his
sleep and has only an hour to live.
As it turns out, Chev is a hit man who freelances for a major West Coast crime syndicate. And a run of the
mill job the night before that was supposed to be like any other hit went unexpectedly awry: Chev let his
target go in an effort to quit the professional killing business and start a new life with his girlfriend
Eve (Amy Smart).
Now, Chev must keep moving - literally - to stay alive. The only way to prolong the poison from stopping
his heart is to keep his adrenaline flowing. As the clock ticks, Chelios cuts a swath through the streets of
Los Angeles, wreaking havoc on those who dare stand in his way. He must rescue Eve from danger, stay two
steps ahead of his nemeses as they try to eliminate him, and search for an antidote to save his own
life.
Johnny's Take: Yeah, yeah, I'll admit that this does sound
a little like Speed with the whole "if his heart rate drops below a certain rate he'll die" bit. If Dennis
Hopper shows up and starts doling out pop quizzes then I'll be concerned. But it's been a while since we've had
a good action film, and this looks like it's going to be a Venti-sized cup of testosterone with a few
shots of adrenaline.
I like Jason Statham, so I'm gonna bring my industrial strength crane in order to suspend my disbelief high
and hopefully enjoy the show. If I hear anybody complain about implausibilities then I will slap
you.
crankfilm.com
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THE U.S. VS. JOHN LENNON - September 15
Synopsis: A documentary on the life of John Lennon, with a focus on the time in his
life when he transformed from a musician into an antiwar activist.
Johnny's Take: I have no interest in John Lennon so I
couldn't care less about this.
theusversusjohnlennon.com
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EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH - October 6
Synopsis: For customers of Super Club, the largest high-volume, bulk-discount
retailer in the country, membership has its privileges. For workers at the cavernous store, the most coveted
honor is the "Employee of the Month" award, and having one’s photo immortalized on the wall of fame in the
staff lounge.
Enter Zack Bradley (Dane Cook) and Vince Downey (Dax Shepard), two ultra competitive Super Club workers whose
ten years of employment have resulted in drastically different career paths. While Vince - with the aid of his
trusty sidekick Jorge (Efren Ramirez) - has advanced to become head cashier and winner of 17 consecutive "E of
M" awards, Zack is the ultimate slacker whose scruffy appearance and laid-back attitude has made him popular
with his colleagues, but kept him stuck in the lowly ranks of the store’s box boys. The duo’s longtime rivalry
comes to a bitter head when Amy (Jessica Simpson) - a beautiful new cashier with a reputation of only dating
"Employee of the Month" winners - transfers to the store, immediately becoming the object of both Zack and
Vince’s affection and often comical gamesmanship.
While Vince instantly impresses Amy with his crowd pleasing, flamboyant style behind his checkstand register,
Zack’s feeble attempts to charm his beautiful new co-worker quickly backfire against him. With the race to win
Amy’s affections slipping away, Zack determines his only chance rests in winning the store’s next "Employee of
the Month" award. A battle to the end, EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH shows that the only failure in life is when one
fails to try.
Johnny's Take: Dane and Dax are funny guys, but I was
disappointed in the trailer. I'm not completely sold on it just yet. Here's hoping it'll exceed ye olde
expectations.
employeeofthemonthfilm.com
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SAW III - October 27
Synopsis: Jigsaw has disappeared.
With his new apprentice Amanda (Shawnee Smith), the puppet-master behind the cruel, intricate games that have
terrified a community and baffled police has once again eluded capture and vanished.
While city detectives scramble to locate him, Doctor Lynn Denlon (Bahar Soomekh) and Jeff (Angus Macfayden)
are unaware that they are about to become the latest pawns on his vicious chessboard.
Johnny's Take: Are they just going to release another
sequel every year? Can't blame 'em. The budgets are low and the box office gross is high. It's an
economically sound decision.
The teaser trailer indicates that this will be, surprise surprise, more of the same. That can be construed
as either good or bad, depending on your taste.
saw3.com
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BUG - December 1 (limited)
Synopsis: A lonely waitress with a tragic past, Agnes rooms in a run-down motel,
living in fear of her abusive, recently paroled ex-husband. But when Agnes begins a tentative romance with
Peter, an eccentric, nervous drifter, she starts to feel hopeful again - until the first bugs arrive...
Probing the blurry lines between paranoia and nightmarish reality, Lionsgate’s BUG is an intense, mind-bending
psychological thriller in which nothing is quite as it seems. Directed by Academy Award® winner William
Friedkin (THE FRENCH CONNECTION, THE EXORCIST) and adapted by Tracy Letts from his hit off-Broadway play, BUG
stars Golden Globe nominee Ashley Judd, Harry Connick, Jr., Lynn Collins, Brían O'Byrne and Michael
Shannon.
Johnny's Take: The trailer has officially piqued my interest,
but the main picture on the website is grossing me out. There's just something about the sight of bugs
burrowing under the skin that acts as an equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. If you've seen the bug
episode of The X-Files then you understand.
bugthemovie.com
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PRIDE - December 22
Synopsis: The year is 1973, and Jim Ellis (Terrence Howard), a college-educated
African-American, can’t find a job. Driven by his love of competitive swimming, Jim converts an abandoned
recreational pool hall in a Philadelphia slum with the help of Elston (Bernie Mac), a local janitor. But when
city officials mark the new Philadelphia Department of Recreation for demolition, Jim fights back - by starting
the city’s first African-American swim team. Recruiting troubled teens from the streets, Jim struggles to
transform a motley team of novices into capable swimmers - all in time for the upcoming state championships.
But as racism, violence and an unsympathetic city official threaten to tear the team apart, Jim must do
everything he can to convince his swimmers that victory, both in and out of the pool, is within their
reach...
Based on true events.
Johnny's Take: That's it. I'm not previewing any more
"based on a true story" inspirational sports dramas. I've long passed my desire to offer any sort of opinion
on these clones.
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