Movie Minutiae - Paramount/Picturehouse Preview - Fall/Winter 2006
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Below is a list of upcoming releases through December for Paramount and Picturehouse Studios. You know the drill -
the sometimes flowery synopses come straight from the studios and my expectations and insights are included. Release
dates are subject to change. My opinions are subject to be highly accurate.
THE LAST KISS - September 15
Synopsis: The Last Kiss is a contemporary comedy-drama about life, love,
infidelity, forgiveness, marriage, friendship... and coming to grips with turning 30.
Zach Braff heads an ensemble cast that also includes Jacinda Barrett, Casey Affleck, Michael Weston, Eric
Christian Olsen, Rachel Bilson, Blythe Danner, Tom Wilkinson, Lauren Lee Smith and Marley Shelton.
Johnny's Take: I liked Braff's Garden State and I can
groove with the whole "coming to grips with turning 30" storyline, but I was hoping the trailer would impress
me more than it did.
How many movies can we have where a guy takes the entire runtime to figure out which girl is exactly right
for him and then performs an act of running to catch up with her and profess his love just a few minutes
prior to closing credits?
I'll give it a chance (assuming there's a free screening), but I was hoping for something a little more
original.
In case you're wondering, the director (Tony Goldwyn) is indeed the cop from Kuffs who played about
20 different jerk characters in the 90s.
View the trailer.
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jack@$$: number 2 - September 22
Synopsis: After smearing the world with all sorts of ridiculous crap, the original
creators and cast of the MTV series jack@$$ and jack@$$ the movie go one louder in
jack@$$: number two. Significantly raising the stakes and lowering the bar, jack@$$: number two
unleashes a spirited mess of absurdity as the cast and crew gets even more ugly around the globe.
Johnny's Take: If you're looking for a movie that clearly
falls in the "love it or hate it" category then look no further.
This is obviously more of the same, and for some sick reason, my morbid curiosity wants to see how much more
stupid these guys can get. Yes, I admit that laughing at other people's pain can be very entertaining.
However, I draw the line at watching people eat yellow snow cones. No thanks.
I hope they just don't go too far over the line. No Rosie O'Donnell mud wrestling, please. Oops, I just
threw up in my mouth a little.
Check out the website if you want to view the
trailer.
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FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS - October 20
Synopsis: Flags of Our Fathers is based on the bestselling book by James
Bradley with Ron Powers, which chronicled the battle of Iwo Jima and the fates of the six men (five Marines
and a Navy corpsman) who raised the American flag on Mount Suribachi and some of their brothers in Easy
Company. Bradley’s father, John "Doc" Bradley, was one of the soldiers pictured raising the flag, although
James never knew the full extent of his father’s experiences until after the elder Bradley’s death in
1994.
The ensemble cast of Flags of Our Fathers includes Ryan Phillippe, Jesse Bradford, Adam Beach,
Paul Walker, Jamie Bell, Barry Pepper, and John Benjamin Hickey.
Clint Eastwood directs from a screenplay adapted by Oscar® nominee Paul Haggis (Million Dollar
Baby).
Johnny's Take: Can you say movie of the year nominee? I
hope so; else you might want to look into taking speech classes. There is no trailer yet, but I don't need
one to know this is at the top of my must-see list.
Clint Eastwood rules. I still hold out hope that he'll one day punch George Clooney in the brain. I'm
weird like that.
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STARTER FOR TEN - October 20 (Picturehouse)
Synopsis: Set in the mid-Eighties, Starter For Ten is a romantic comedy about
a working-class kid (James McAvoy), struggling to make his way in the rarified world of an Upper-class British
University. On his way to achieving his long-held ambition to appear on the British TV Quiz Show, University
Challenge, he falls in love with his beautiful teammate and forms a plan to win her heart through his advanced
general knowledge skills. Starter For Ten is a bitter-sweet comedy about loyalty, class, falling in love
and the difference between knowledge and wisdom.
Johnny's Take: This has "limited release" stamped all over it.
James McAvoy doesn't exactly bring audiences to the theater, his role as Tumnus in Narnia notwithstanding. It
also has "Johnny won't be seeing it unless there's a free advanced screening" stamped all over it.
What in the world does the title mean? Is it some sort of weird British term? Somebody please tell me because
I don't have any idea and I am amazingly too lazy to do a Google search on the subject.
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FLUSHED AWAY - November 3
Synopsis: Flushed Away is a madcap comedy set on and beneath the streets of
London.
Roddy (Hugh Jackman) is a decidedly upper-crust "society rat" who lives the life of a pampered pet in a posh
Kensington flat. When a common sewer rat named Syd (Shane Richie) comes spewing out of the sink and decides
he’s hit the jackpot, Roddy schemes to rid himself of the pest by luring him into the "whirlpool." Syd may be
an ignorant slob, but he’s no fool, so it is Roddy who winds up being flushed away into the bustling sewer
world of Ratropolis. There Roddy meets Rita (Kate Winslet), an enterprising scavenger who works the sewers in
her faithful boat, the Jammy Dodger. Roddy immediately wants out, or rather, up; Rita wants to be paid for her
trouble; and, speaking of trouble, the villainous Toad (Ian McKellan) - who royally despises all rodents - wants
them iced... literally. The Toad dispatches his two hapless hench-rats, Spike (Andy Serkis) and Whitey (Bill
Nighy - NOT the science guy), to get the job done. When they fail, the Toad has no choice but to send to
France for his cousin - that dreaded mercenary, Le Frog (Jean Reno).
Johnny's Take: Just what 2006 needed - another CGI film!
We've only had 317 of them so far. I think two of 'em actually made money. Anyway, I saw the trailer for
this one a while back and don't remember being overly impressed. Let me give it a second look...
Ah yes, now I remember. Let's change "not overly impressed" to "not impressed at all." How many times do I
have to issue statements regarding the lack of humor in belching animated animals? Will Hollywood not listen?
I guess not as long as five year olds keep howling with laughter.
Plus, does anybody else think Roddy the rat looks just a little too much like a human? I don't know why that
bothers me, but it does.
I'm sure this will at least be "cute," but come on, that's just another word for "good for the kids, barely
tolerable for adults." See why they just call it "cute"? Much easier.
View the trailer.
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FUR: AN IMAGINARY PORTRAIT OF DIANE ARBUS - November 10 (Picturehouse)
Synopsis: Set in New York in the late 1950’s, FUR conjures an image of visionary
artist Diane Arbus (Nicole Kidman) by intertwining a fictional romance with aspects of Arbus’ life in order to
explore the mysterious artistic development of a woman who is now regarded as one of the most influential
photographers of all time.
Johnny's Take: Never heard of the woman and don't care to
become knowledgeable. Sorry.
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CHARLOTTE'S WEB - December 20
Synopsis: The classic story of loyalty, trust, and sacrifice comes to life in this
live-action adaptation. Fern (Dakota Fanning) is one of only two living beings who sees that Wilbur is a special
animal as she raises him, the runt of the litter, into a terrific and radiant pig. As Wilbur moves into a new
barn, he begins a second profound friendship with the most unlikely of creatures - a spider named Charlotte - and
their bond inspires the animals around them to come together as a family. When the word gets out that Wilbur’s
days are numbered, it seems that only a miracle will save his life. A determined Charlotte - who sees miracles in
the ordinary - spins words into her web in an effort to convince the farmer that Wilbur is "some pig" and worth
saving.
Johnny's Take: Oh man, audiences are going to eat this up
and nothing I say will make a difference. After all, the book is wildly popular. But talking animal movies
just don't do it for me so I have to call it like I see it - gay. With a capital Elton John.
OK, so maybe I should watch the trailer first so I can make a more accurate assessment...
Yep - gay. This is one of those films where people like my sisters will be bawling at the end and people
like me will be pointing at them and laughing, asking if I need to call them a WAHmbulance.
You're more than welcome to check out the movie's
official website if you feel like
clicking around for about five minutes to find the trailer.
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DREAMGIRLS - December 22
Synopsis: Twenty-five years after first bringing Broadway audiences to their feet,
the Tony Award-winning musical sensation Dreamgirls comes to the big screen starring Academy Award®
winner Jamie Foxx, Beyoncé Knowles, Danny Glover, newcomer Jennifer Hudson, Tony Award winner Anika Noni Rose
and Eddie Murphy.
Set in the turbulent early 1960s to mid-70s, Dreamgirls follows the rise of a trio of women -
Effie (Hudson), Deena (Knowles) and Lorrell (Rose) - who have formed a promising girl group called The
Dreamettes. At a talent competition, they are discovered by an ambitious manager named Curtis Taylor, Jr.
(Foxx), who offers them the opportunity of a lifetime: to become the back-up singers for headliner James
"Thunder" Early (Murphy). Curtis gradually takes control of the girls’ look and sound, eventually giving
them their own shot in the spotlight as The Dreams. That spotlight, however, begins to narrow in on Deena,
finally pushing the less attractive Effie out altogether. Though the Dreams become a crossover phenomenon,
they soon realize that the cost of fame and fortune may be higher than they ever imagined.
Johnny's Take: The synopsis had me at "Tony Award-winning
musical." And by "had me" I mean it had me convinced that this is a movie I would likely pay to AVOID
seeing.
In case you need even less incentive to dare to sit through this then just keep in mind that that is indeed
Jennifer Hudson of American Idol fame. I'd either turn the channel or hit the ol' mute button
whenever she was on so what Hollywood genius thought there'd be an audience who'd want to see her
screeching for two hours?
I hope Ms. Hudson isn't a Movie Mark fan. I might feel a little bad about what I said if that happened to
be the case.
I hear that it's already getting Oscar buzz. That figures.
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PAN'S LABYRINTH - December 29
Synopsis: PAN'S LABYRINTH is a fanciful and chilling story set against the backdrop
of a fascist regime in 1944 rural Spain. The film centers on Ofelia, a lonely and dreamy child living with her
mother and adoptive father; a military officer tasked with ridding the area of rebels. In her loneliness,
Ofelia creates a world filled with fantastical creatures and secret destinies. With post-war repression at
its height, Ofelia must come to terms with her world through a fable of her own creation.
Johnny's Take: The teaser trailer certainly makes this look
like one disturbing little flick. And a visually intriguing one at that! I'm looking forward to it.
After all, the director is Guillermo del Toro, and he did have the sense to cast Josh Brolin in Mimic,
so he's gotta know what he's doing, right?
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