Media Musings - Johnny Betts' 2004 Fox Primetime Preview
By Johnny Betts, Moviegoer Advocate
Contact Johnny
All times are Central. Why? Because that's *my* time zone, chico.
SUNDAY
King of the Hill (6:00 PM) - I don't watch it much, but from what I've seen it's pretty
funny. Plus, Roger Clyne wrote the theme song! If you haven't
heard any Roger Clyne then you should check him out.
Premieres 11/7.
Malcolm in the Middle (6:30 PM) - Or as I like to call it: Malcolm Not In My
Viewing Schedule. Can't stand Frankie Muniz. Premieres 11/7.
The Simpsons (7:00 PM) - It's been on long enough for you to decide whether or not
you wanna watch it. Premieres 11/7.
Arrested Development (7:30 PM) - I have to admit that I have yet to watch this. But
I've heard so much positive buzz that I'm ready to take a look. Premieres 11/7.
The Partner (8:00 PM) - According to Fox, this is a reality show where "a team of 'book
smart' Ivy League graduates will compete against a team of 'street smart' lawyers from less prestigious schools until
one of them wins a job in a major law firm." I don't have time for this. If you absolutely love law then have a
blast. But if you like original shows that don't stomp mudholes over ground that has been covered OVER AND OVER AND
OVER then pass this one by. Premieres 11/7.
MONDAY
North Shore (7:00 PM) - A bunch of pretty people living in Hawaii with overly dramatic
lives. I'll pass. But hey, Shannen Doherty was added to the cast! You know, I kind of like Shannen, but that
doesn't mean I'll be watching the show. Premiered 9/20.
The Swan 2 (8:00 PM) - My pet name for this makeover show is "A Show Johnny Refuses to
Watch 2." Premieres ??? Fox don't list it, then Johnny don't look for it.
TUESDAY
The Billionaire: Branson's Quest For The Best (7:00 PM) - Sigh. Sounds like
Mark Cuban's The Benefactor and The Apprentice. Ideas are running THIN! I refuse to waste my
time with this. Premieres 11/9.
House (8:00 PM) - It's about a team of medical experts who investigates medical
mysteries. And it seems the lead doctor hates his patients. Omar Epps is the only person in the cast I've heard
of. It has gotten decent buzz, but nothing has convinced me to tune it yet. When Omar Epps is the most
recognizable name then I fail to stand up and take notice. Premieres 11/16.
WEDNESDAY
That '70s Show (7:00 PM) - It's pretty funny, but I haven't watched it lately, so I
don't know if it has maintained its quality. Fez is annoying though. Wish they'd kill off his character. Man,
that'd rule. Premiered 9/8.
Quintuplets (7:30 PM) - Andy Richter stars as the father of, you guessed it (unless you're
just plain stupid), quintuplets. If you like Richter then check it out. I suggest you do it quick because my
prediction is I'll have had belches that lasted longer than this. Doesn't mean it won't be funny though.
Premiered June 16?!?!?! Whoa. I didn't realize it had been on that long. The ratings haven't been very good.
Told ya.
The Bernie Mac Show (8:00 PM) - Pretty funny show. I appreciate Bernie Mac's
straight shootin' and lack of political correctness. Kind of a black Johnny Betts, huh? Premiered 9/8.
Method and Red (8:30 PM) - Answer: Method and Red. Question: What is a show about
two pot smokers that Johnny Betts has no interest in ever watching? Premieres sometime.
THURSDAY
The O.C. (7:00 PM) - 90210 called, it wants its show back. Premieres 11/4.
Tru Calling (8:00 PM) - Interesting premise - Eliza Dushku (with her cute little
tushku, bwahahaha) can relive days in order to try to save people. I haven't found the time to watch it yet, but
Mr. Shade tells me it's good. And hey, Jason Priestley has found work again. Good job, Brandon, good job. Premieres
11/4.
FRIDAY
The Complex: Malibu (7:00 PM) - Eight couples are put in a Malibu apartment complex and
will be given the opportunity to renovate four units. The units will then be sold at auction. The couple whose unit
nets the highest percentage profit receives the profits from all the units. That's it, folks, Hollywood is officially
out of ideas. This is ridiculous, and I'm legitimately mad. Premiered 8/30.
The Next Great Champ (8:00 PM) - Boxers fight for a professional contract and Oscar De
La Hoya is involved. Yeehaw. I have no desire to ever step in the ring with De La Hoya, but he lost all credibility
with me when I saw him dancing a little Enrique Iglesias style jig on Conan. Premiered 9/7.
SATURDAY
Cops (7:00 PM) - I'm sure everybody knows what this is. If you like to watch shows
featuring lots of mullets, drug dealers, and wife beater shirts then this is your promised land.
Cops (7:30 PM) - More of the same.
America's Most Wanted (8:00 PM) - This show's been on since 1988, so I'm pretty sure
it needs no introduction. Premiered 9/11.
Wow. I haven't had fewer good options since I was a dorky 7th grader at a new school looking for somebody to go
to football homecoming with me. There's only one quote that comes to mind that'll sum it all up. As the great
J. Jonah Jameson said, "Crap, crap, megacrap." If you want to watch something on Fox, then it's gonna have to
be one of the old shows, because there are no newcomers I can recommend. Maybe Quintuplets, but it's
probably packing its bags and heading for the door as I type. Ah well, this is just my opinion, you could be wrong.
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