Movie Minutiae - Sony Preview - Fall/Winter 2006
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Below is a list of upcoming releases through December for Sony Pictures. The synopses are my brief summaries. I read the
long versions and condensed them for your convenience. You're welcome. My expectations and insights are also
included. Release dates are subject to change. My opinions are subject to be highly accurate.
ALL THE KING'S MEN - September 22
Synopsis: Based on the Robert Penn Warren novel, All the King's Men tells
the story of Willie Stark, a Southern politician based on Governor Huey Long of Louisiana. Jude Law plays
a journalist who becomes fascinated with Stark and unknowingly assists his corrupt political ambitions.
Johnny's Take: Why in the wide, wide world of sports would
anybody want to remake a movie that won three Oscars? Is there a point? How do you think you can improve
the film? By winning four Oscars?
Judging by the trailer, Sean Penn appears to be hammin' it up like it's Thanksgiving dinner. I have zero
interest. What's that you say? James "Alien" Carville is an executive producer? My interest just dipped into
negative numbers. That man has cornered the market on "lack of appeal."
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OPEN SEASON - September 29
Synopsis: A bear and a deer join forces, form an army of other forest animals, and
wage a war against a group of hunters.
Johnny's Take: Sigh. An animated film starring the annoying
voices of Martin Lawrence and Ashton Kutcher? How many animated films involving good animals, bad humans, and
the woods can we have this year? I reached my limit about 62 movies ago.
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THE GRUDGE 2 - October 13
Synopsis: Amber Tamblyn travels to Tokyo to find out what happened to her sister
(Sarah Michelle Gellar) in The Grudge. She meets a
journalist and they try to figure out what happened in the house where Gellar served as a caretaker.
Johnny's Take: You know what? I enjoyed 2004's
The Grudge. Sure, the story was disjointed, and the ending
was as irritating as jock itch (trust me), but the atmosphere was creepy enough to keep me entertained.
The sequel looks to be more of the same. I just hope the story is more satisfying. However, allow me to issue
a warning - the trailer for The Grudge 2 reveals a MAJOR spoiler that I really wish I hadn't seen. Who
was the idiot in charge of that stroke of 'tardness? Unbelievable.
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RUNNING WITH SCISSORS - October 20
Synopsis: Follows the adventures of a kid who has an alcoholic father (Alec Baldwin),
an unstable mother (Annette Benning), and a therapist (Brian Cox) with a bizarre family.
Johnny's Take: Right off the bat this movie has four
main things going against it:
1) The poster looks stupid.
2) The trailer isn't funny.
3) The movie apparently promotes Tab - one of the worst soft drinks of all time.
4) The main song featured in the trailer is the horrific Benny and the Jets by the English queen
herself, Elton John.
Perhaps some people think it's funny when a character eats dog food and calls it "trying new things." I
don't.
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MARIE ANTOINETTE - October 20
Synopsis: A weird account of the infamous French queen.
Johnny's Take: I can't express strongly enough how horrible
this looks. This is supposed to be a period piece, but modern rock music is the backdrop of the trailer. So
stupid. Plus, I'm no fan of Kirsten "Skeletor" Dunst. Although I am quite amazed at how she manages to be the
weakest part of any movie she's in.
No thanks, I'll pass. Let the movie eat cake.
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STRANGER THAN FICTION - November 10
Synopsis: IRS auditor Harold Crick (Will Ferrell) suddenly finds his every thought
and action narrated by a voice in his head. It turns out that a famous author (Emma Thompson) is the narrator
and this is her way of dealing with writer's block. Apparently, she has plans to kill off one of her characters -
a character named none other than DUHN DUHN DUHN HAROLD CRICK!!!
Johnny's Take: Will Ferrell is very hit and miss with me.
He CAN be funny, but man oh man he can be the most annoying man on the planet at times. I think our theaters
have had their fill of him this year, but let's take a look at the trailer...
Hmm, I'm torn between hokey and interesting. The presence of Dustin Hoffman and Queen Latifah automatically
removes a couple of interest points. The trailer didn't sell me, but it didn't send me screaming for the
hills either.
Take that for what it's worth, and if my calculations are correct then the estimated value is
about $8.
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CASINO ROYALE - November 17
Synopsis: The James Bond movie where Daniel Craig replaces Pierce Brosnan and
crybaby Bond purists whine because Craig has blonde hair. Some dude has plans to win a casino tournament
and use the money to fund terrorist activities. Bond must stop him.
Johnny's Take: I'm not ashamed to say that I was not a big
fan of Pierce Brosnan's Bond movies. The cheesy one-liners and ridiculously over-the-top action sequences
were just too much.
But the Casino Royale trailer kicks major rumpage, and I must say I'm looking forward to Daniel Craig's
portrayal (despite his silly boxer-brief swimsuit). This seems to play it straight and it looks like there
will be no shortage of action. Take THAT, Pierce!
Please note that the "James Blonde" jokes are tired and no longer all that funny. Unless you're hearing it
from me for the first time.
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THE HOLIDAY - December 8
Synopsis: An American woman (Cameron Diaz) and an English woman (Kate Winslet) swap
homes in each other's countries, each meet a local guy, and they fall in love.
Johnny's Take: It looks a wee bit slapstickish and a
little chick-flicky (yes, I just made up two words), but it boasts an interesting cast. Plus, Jack Black and
Kate Winslet playing a couple just has to be humorous.
On the flip side, I also thought that a movie starring Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Christopher Walken, AND
Rachel Weisz (Envy) had to be can't-miss hilarious, and that didn't work out too well, now
did it?
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THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS - December 15
Synopsis: Will Smith is a struggling salesman who takes custody of his son and
embarks on a life-changing personal endeavor.
Johnny's Take: What's the point of misspelling
"happiness" in the title? Let's see if the trailer explains it...
Nope, no explanation. And that annoys me. The trailer slathers us just a little too thickly with
sentimentality, but could Will Smith's likeability be enough to overcome that? Possibly.
I know Smith probably wants to expand his range and all that stuff actors who want to be taken seriously do,
but can't he just get back to doing blockbusters that skillfully combine humor and action? Come on,
Will. Do it for the children.
Speaking of children, did y'all know that Will Smith's real-life son plays his son in the movie? Maybe
it should've been called The Pursuit of Nepotism instead.
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