Movie Minutiae - Universal Preview - Fall/Winter 2006
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Below is a list of upcoming releases through December for Universal Studios. The synopses come straight from the
studio - you know I'd never use such flowery language to describe these films. My expectations and insights are
included. Release dates are subject to change. My opinions are subject to be highly accurate. Yeah, this is
the same stuff I said for the 20th Century Fox Preview. You gonna sue me or
something?
ACCEPTED - August 18
Synopsis: High school senior Bartleby "B" Gaines (Justin Long) is on his way to
scoring eight out of eight rejection letters from colleges - which isn't going to go over big with Mom and
Dad. At least he's not alone in the exclusion. Several of his crew of outcast friends are in the same,
college-less boat. So... how does a guy facing a bleak career please his parents and get noticed by dream girl
Monica (Blake Lively)?
Simple. Open his own university.
With his future in the balance, it's going to take more than just sleight of hand to keep B out of jail as
he strives to get the girl, impress his parents and just become... Accepted.
Johnny's Take: I think Justin Long is a fairly entertaining
guy and all, but I just don't know that Accepted is gonna be his rocketship to stardom. I've managed
to miss all of the screenings they've already had in Memphis, but my cousin assures me I ain't missin'
much.
The trailer indicates that as well. Am I the only one who wants to crawl in the TV and punch that fat screaming
kid? I thought not. I don't think I'll be able to catch another screening before this is released, so
a Movie Mark review might not be forthcoming, but don't be surprised if audiences ignore this one, forcing
it to become known as the bad pun of *wait for it* Rejected.
You're welcome for that.
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IDLEWILD - August 25
Synopsis: The story of the loves and ambitions of two struggling performers is told
through intricate musical numbers and vibrantly choreographed dance sequences in Idlewild, an original
musical starring multi-platinum and multi-Grammy winning OutKast members André Benjamin (André 3000) and Antwan
A. Patton (Big Boi).
Set against the backdrop of a 1930s southern speakeasy, Idlewild explores the lives of Percival (Benjamin),
the club's shy piano player, and Rooster (Patton), the club's showy lead performer and manager. Idlewild
synthesizes drama, music, cinema and style to bring the tale of struggling singers to life.
Johnny's Take: I can't say that this is at the top of my
must-see list, but you know, it doesn't look half bad. Maybe only 40%. I don't care for musicals, but this
seems to be staying away from the traditional "everybody sings all their dialogue" type musicals that make
me want to blow my brains out.
I also can't stand OutKast, but I do like André Benjamin as an actor, so I'll give this one a shot. But
someone still needs to be maimed for that wretched Hey Ya song. I will not be happy until I know
someone has suffered the same amount of physical pain as the amount of emotional pain I went through
the 40 million times I had to hurriedly change the radio station when it'd be on.
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THE BLACK DAHLIA - September 15
Synopsis: The Black Dahlia weaves a fictionalized tale of obsession, love,
corruption, greed and depravity around the brutal murder of a fledgling Hollywood starlet that shocked and
fascinated the nation in 1947 and remains unsolved today. Two ex-pugilist cops, Lee Blanchard (Aaron Eckhart)
and Bucky Bleichert (Josh Hartnett), are called to investigate the homicide of ambitious silver-screen B-lister
Betty Ann Short (Mia Kirshner) A.K.A. "The Black Dahlia" - an attack so grisly that images of the killing were
kept from the public.
While Blanchard's growing preoccupation with the sensational murder threatens his relationship with Kay (Scarlett
Johansson), his partner Bleichert finds himself attracted to the enigmatic Madeleine Linscott (Hilary Swank),
the daughter of one of the city's most prominent families - who just happens to have an unsavory connection to
the murder victim.
Johnny's Take: This is one of my most anticipated films for
the remainder of 2006. I've been interested in the Black Dahlia case ever since I saw a 48 Hours Mystery
episode about it, and the fact that it's based on a James Ellroy book (he wrote L.A. Confidential,
people!) just heightens my interest. I haven't read the book, so I'm really curious to see how it all plays
out since the case was never resolved. Should be an interesting mix of fact and fiction. Let's be cool
and call it "faction," shall we?
Plus, I'm even willing to look past the casting of Josh "Keanu Reeves School of Wooden Acting"
Hartnett!
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CHILDREN OF MEN - September 29 December 25
Synopsis: Children of Men envisages a world one generation from now that has
fallen into anarchy on the heels of an infertility defect in the population. The world's youngest citizen has
just died at 18, and humankind is facing the likelihood of its own extinction.
Set against a backdrop of London torn apart by violence and warring nationalistic sects, Children of Men
follows disillusioned bureaucrat Theo (Clive Owen) as he becomes an unlikely champion of Earth's survival. When
the planet's last remaining hope is threatened, this reluctant activist is forced to face his own demons and
protect her from certain peril.
Johnny's Take: I think the synopsis meant to say a "one world
generation," but I guess I'll let that slide. It's been a while since we've had a good, thought-provoking
Sci-Fi flick, so my interest level is high.
I'm a little disappointed though because this is three Universal movies in a row that hold some kind of
promise. Come on, where are the turdburgers? I want something to make fun of!
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MAN OF THE YEAR - October 13
Synopsis: Acerbic performer Tom Dobbs (Robin Williams) has made his career out of
skewering politicians and speaking the mind of the exasperated nation on his talk show. He cracked scathing
jokes at a fractured system night after night...until he came up with a really funny idea: why not
run for president himself?
After a flip comment, Dobbs ignites a grassroots movement that puts him on the ballot. Hot on the campaign
trail, he debates elected drones and says exactly what frustrated voters have often thought. Nov. 2nd later,
the muckraker wins - only to learn that a computer voting error gave him the victory. With time ticking on the
inaugural clock, Dobbs has a big decision to make: should he go back behind the mike or stay in the Oval
Office?
Johnny's Take: Ah, there we go, the crap I've been waiting
to roll my eyes at. I trimmed part of that synopsis because I almost fell asleep reading the whole thing and
I didn't want the same to happen to you, but another part of the summary mentioned Williams' character as
"one of the nation's funniest men."
Robin Williams playing one of the nation's funniest men?
*stares blankly at the computer monitor*
Man, they're really asking a lot of the guy. If he can somehow convince me of that then I say give the guy
an Oscar! After watching the trailer I have to say I'm not expecting much. This is one of those movies that
could end up surprising the heck out of me by being fairly entertaining or it could end up leaving me
scowling and remembering why I've never cared for Robin Williams as a comedian. I'll keep the jury out on
this one for a bit longer.
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LET'S GO TO PRISON - November 22
Synopsis: Felon John Lyshitski (Dax Shepard) has figured out the best way to get
revenge on the now-dead judge who sent him to jail: watch the official's obnoxious son, Nelson Biederman IV
(Will Arnett), survive the clink.
John strikes gold when Nelson is wrongly convicted of a crime and sent to the pen he used to call home. He
gleefully gets sent back to become Nelson's cellmate and to ensure that his new buddy gets the "full
treatment." Let the games begin.
Johnny's Take: This has the potential to be a sleeper hit.
Or at least funny enough to garner a cult following. After all, you've got the teaming of Will Arnett (who
was hilarious on Arrested Development) and Bob Odenkirk of Mr. Show and Tenacious D
fame.
I like its chances, but I'll withhold further comments until I see a trailer.
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THE GOOD SHEPHERD - December 22
Synopsis: The tumultuous early history of the Central Intelligence Agency is viewed
through the prism of one man's life in The Good Shepherd, an espionage drama starring Matt Damon,
Angelina Jolie and Robert De Niro and directed by Robert De Niro.
Edward Wilson (Damon) understands the value of secrecy - discretion and commitment to honor have been embedded
in him since childhood. As an eager, optimistic student at Yale, he is recruited to join the secret society
Skull and Bones, a brotherhood and breeding ground for future world leaders. Wilson's acute mind, spotless
reputation and sincere belief in American values render him a prime candidate for a career in intelligence,
and he is soon recruited to work for the OSS (the precursor to the CIA) during WWII.
As one of the covert founders of the CIA, working in the heart of an organization where duplicity is required
and nothing is taken at face value, Edward's' idealism is steadily eroded by a growing suspicious nature,
reflective of a world settling into the long paranoia of the Cold War. As his methods are adopted as standard
operating procedure, Wilson develops into one of the Agency's veteran operatives, all the while combating his
KGB counterpart. However, his steely dedication to his country comes at an ever-increasing price. Not even his
wife Clover (Jolie) or his beloved son can divert Wilson from a path that will force him to sacrifice
everything in pursuit of this job.
Johnny's Take: Espionage + a real-life setting + a solid
cast = I'm there! I'm sorry to say that at the moment I really can't find anything to ridicule about this
one.
I have to begrudgingly admit that Matt Damon has a knack for taking solid roles. Meanwhile, his buddy Ben
Affleck is reportedly happy with his current role as night-shift manager at the Gap. Hey, a brotha's gotta
keep Jennifer Garner's forehead fed.
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