Movie Minutiae - Warner Brothers Preview - Fall/Winter 2006
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Below is a list of upcoming releases through December for Warner Brothers. The synopses come straight from the
studio - you know I'd never use such flowery language to describe these films. My expectations and insights are
included. Release dates are subject to change. My opinions are subject to be highly accurate.
THE WICKER MAN - September 1
Synopsis: Police officer Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage) travels to the remote island of
Summersisle to help his former girlfriend, Willow (Kate Beahan), find her missing daughter. There, Edward is
drawn into a web of ancient traditions and murderous deceit, and each step he takes closer to the lost child
brings him one step closer to the unspeakable. And one step closer to the Wicker Man.
Johnny's Take: Remove that last sentence that specifically
mentions "Wicker Man" and you could've convinced me this was based on the Silent Hill video game.
The movie actually looks interesting, and a studio insider has informed me that Cage is cool and the movie
does exude a certain amount of creepiness.
Unfortunately, Memphis ain't gettin' a screening. You know what that means? It might be a while before I
see it. Oh, and it's based on a 1973 movie by the same name. I've never seen it so I have no idea if
this remake is a good idea or not.
thewickermanmovie.com
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THE DEPARTED - October 6
Synopsis: Crime Drama. The Departed is set in South Boston, where the state police
force is waging war on organized crime. Young undercover cop Billy Costigan (Leonardo DiCaprio) is assigned to
infiltrate the mob syndicate run by gangland chief Costello (Jack Nicholson). While Billy is quickly gaining
Costello’s confidence, Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon), a hardened young criminal who has infiltrated the police
department as an informer for the syndicate, is rising to a position of power in the Special Investigation
Unit. Each man becomes deeply consumed by his double life, gathering information about the plans and
counter-plans of the operations he has penetrated. But when it becomes clear to both the gangsters and the
police that there’s a mole in their midst, Billy and Colin are suddenly in danger of being caught and exposed
to the enemy - and each must race to uncover the identity of the other man in time to save himself.
Johnny's Take: Hmm, sounds interesting, but I'm having trouble
buying the 12-year-old looking Leonardo DiCaprio as an undercover cop. Let's see if the trailer changes my
opinion...
You know, the movie looks pretty good, but I still find myself being distracted by DiCaprio's disturbing
resemblance to Julia "Round-Face" Stiles. Other than that, I'm looking forward to this one.
But could someone please tell me why every single character's last name has to start with "Co"??? I'm gonna
get so confused.
thedeparted.com
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HAPPY FEET - November 17
Synopsis: A comedy adventure, Happy Feet is set deep in Antarctica. Into the
land of the Emperor penguins, where each needs a Heartsong to attract a soul mate, a penguin is born who cannot
sing. Our hero Mumble (voiced by Elijah Wood), son of Memphis (voiced by Hugh Jackman) and Norma Jean (voiced
by Nicole Kidman), is the worst singer in the world... however, as it happens, he is a brilliant tap dancer!
Johnny's Take: Looks like somebody is trying to capitalize
on the success of March of the Penguins. The synopsis doesn't exactly put hope in my heart, but let's
give the trailer the ol' look-see...
Um. Penguins tap dancing to Jamaican music? Yeah, that's on my "must-see" list, right up there with "Chris
Kattan making out with Molly Shannon." This is one that I'll have to force myself to go see for free.
happyfeetmovie.com
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THE FOUNTAIN - November 22
Synopsis: Sci Fi Fantasy. What if you could live forever? The Fountain is an odyssey
about one man’s eternal struggle to save the woman he loves. His epic journey begins in 16th-century Spain,
where conquistador Tomas (Hugh Jackman) commences his search for the Fountain of Youth, the legendary entity
believed to grant immortality. As modern-day scientist Tommy Creo, he desperately struggles to find a cure for
the cancer that is killing his beloved wife, Isabel (Rachel Weisz). Traveling through deep space as a
26th-century astronaut, Tom begins to grasp the mysteries that have consumed him for a millennium. The three
stories converge into one truth, as the Thomas of all periods — warrior, scientist, and explorer — comes to terms
with life, love, death and rebirth.
Johnny's Take: Two highly appealing actors (Jackman, Weisz) +
a little time-traveling Sci-Fi action + an intriguing storyline and trailer = one of my most anticipated films
of the remainder of 2006.
thefountainmovie.com
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UNACCOMPANIED MINORS - December 8
Synopsis: Comedy. It’s Christmas Eve and a huge blizzard has shut down the airport.
Among the stranded travelers, five "Unaccompanied Minors" are determined to max out their holiday by running
wild inside and outside the airport. Without a parent in sight, the rambunctious five outwit and outrun an
uptight airport official (Lewis Black) and his gullible assistant (Wilmer Valderrama). Joyriding on golf
carts, plummeting through baggage chutes and canoeing down a snow bank, the kids turn Christmas at the
airport into holiday pandemonium and, along the way, prove that the holidays aren’t about where you are,
but who you’re with.
Johnny's Take: Oh brother. So apparently somebody thought
it'd be a cute idea to set Home Alone in an airport, huh? Sigh. Plus, the fact that Wilmer
Valderrama is in it seals the deal that this will most likely be a contender for one of the worst of
the year.
I could be wrong, but I highly doubt it.
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THE GOOD GERMAN - December 8 (Limited), December 25 (Limited Expansion)
Synopsis: Dramatic Thriller. Based on the novel by Joseph Kanon, The Good German
takes place in the ruins of post-WWII Berlin, where U.S. Army war correspondent Jake Geismar (George Clooney)
becomes embroiled with Lena Brandt (Cate Blanchett), a former lover who is trying to escape her past in the
aftermath of the war. Intrigue mounts as Jake tries to uncover the secrets Lena may be hiding in her
desperation to get out of Berlin. Tully (Tobey Maguire), a soldier in the American army motor pool
assigned to drive Jake around the city, has black market connections that may be Lena’s way out - or lead them
all into even darker territory.
Johnny's Take: This could be interesting, but the combination
of George Clooney and political "thrillers" usually results in sleepy time for Johnny. I'll withhold further
judgment until I have a trailer to watch.
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BLOOD DIAMOND - December 15
Synopsis: Action Drama. Set against the backdrop of civil war and chaos in 1990s
Sierra Leone, Blood Diamond is the story of Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio), a South African mercenary,
and Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou), a Mende fisherman. Both men are African, but their histories are as
different as any can be, until their fates become joined in a common quest to recover a rare pink diamond that
can transform their lives. While in prison for smuggling, Archer learns that Solomon — who was taken from his
family and forced to work in the diamond fields — has found and hidden the extraordinary rough stone. With the
help of Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly), an American journalist whose idealism is tempered by a deepening
connection with Archer, the two men embark on a trek through rebel territory — a journey that could save
Solomon’s family and give Archer the second chance he thought he would never have.
Johnny's Take: Again, this sounds like it has potential, but
until I see a trailer I refuse to get my hopes up.
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WE ARE MARSHALL - December 22
Synopsis: Inspirational Drama. We Are Marshall tells an inspiring true story
set in Huntington, West Virginia, a small town steeped in the rich tradition of college football. For decades,
players, coaches, fans and families have come together to cheer on Marshall University’s “Thundering Herd.” For
this team and this community, Marshall football is more than just a sport, it’s a way of life. But on a fateful
night in 1970, while traveling back to Huntington after a game in North Carolina, 75 members of Marshall’s
football team and coaching staff were killed in a plane crash. As those left behind struggled to cope with the
devastating loss of their loved ones, the grieving families found hope and strength in the leadership of Jack
Lengyel (Matthew McConaughey), a young coach who was determined to rebuild Marshall’s football program and, in
the process, helped to heal a community.
Johnny's Take: Pop Quiz - how many movies about football do NOT
involve a community that deems football a "way of life"? It's a trick question; there is no such football
movie.
According to my Rules of Hollywood book, rule #187 states, "If your movie is about football then it
must revolve around a community (preferably small town) that considers football a way of life."
I guess Matthew McConaughey saw that his twin Josh Lucas did an inspirational sports movie
(Glory Road), and he couldn't allow himself to be
outdone. Could be good. Could be like every other "heart-warming" sports drama ever made. We'll see.
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