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	Movie Review - After the Sunset (2004)     (What this rating means)       Director: Brett Ratner Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek, and Woody Harrelson Rated: PG-13 (for sexuality, violence and language) Length: 100 minutes Genre: Comedy/Crime Tagline: Who will walk away? Studio: New Line Cinema Website: After the Sunset PLOT Pierce Brosnan is the world's greatest jewel thief, but as the dangers of the job get closer to catching up with him, he decides to retire to Paradise with the lovely Salma Hayek. But FBI agent Woody Harrelson has no plans of letting Brosnan retire peacefully. He still has a score to settle thanks to the embarrassment he suffered at the hands of one of Brosnan's diamond heists. Of course, Brosnan starts to become restless and is tempted to go after his biggest score yet. Will he pull it off? Will Harrelson finally get his revenge? Will you even care? Salma Hayek looking as hot as ever ensues. JOHNNY'S TAKE After the Sunset? More like AFTER THE CRAP SETS! OK, OK, it isn't *that* bad, but I've been dying to use that line, so I couldn't resist. However, it isn't *that* good either. It's just kind of ... there. What I mean by that is the movie sort of just plods along with no real direction, no gripping story. Rather than a movie, it feels like you're watching a polished home video of Pierce Brosnan and Salma Hayek fooling around in the Bahamas and Woody Harrelson joining in to act like a goofball. I'll give the cast credit, it looks like they had fun filming the movie because there are some funny scenes, especially between Brosnan and Woody, but a lot of the humor falls flat. And boy is the ending gay. Bring a big yellow bucket with you because you'll need something to puke in when the sappy music hits and Brosnan starts telling Salma how he wants "a life full of sunsets" with her. I'm sure 50-year-old women who are in love with the Irish-accented one will gush over this, but I rolled my eyes so far that one of them detached and came out of the socket. I was also quite disappointed in the lack of actual thievery. Brosnan's supposed to be the world's greatest jewel thief, but all he really does is squint and walk around with his shirt unbuttoned. The "main" theft scene is so simplistic, that I could give my 9-year-old brother the instructions and he could pull it off. My favorite types of heist films are Entrapment, Ocean's 11, The Italian Job, movies of that nature, and this just doesn't compete. Oh sure, Brosnan throws around a couple of technical terms, but where are the planned details of the theft? Where's the tension involved in breaking past security and through various obstacles? I know where it's not - this movie. Salma Hayek sure is a pleasure to look at though. Plus, she has a very cute personality. For example, when she returns from a tennis lesson she displays the perfect amount of innocent charm when she says the lesson went well because her instructor said she has the "best backside he has ever seen." Brosnan says it's supposed to be "backhand," but I'm pretty sure the instructor meant what he said. Just a few more observations: Chris Penn has a "blink and you'll miss him" cameo as an annoying basketball fan who is used to create a distraction. I'm pretty sure he puts on 50 pounds in between movies. If Brosnan insists on walking around for an entire movie either shirtless or with his shirt unbuttoned, then he really needs to start doing some push-ups and sit-ups. Surely he can create some sort of muscle tone. Brosnan could also use a shave. If he wants to go for the scruffy look, then that's fine, but he should at least shave his neck and under his chin. Beard growth really accentuates "old man double chin." While he's at it, Brosnan might as well also look into obtaining a less bland personality. Brosnan and Salma kiss for approximately 48 minutes of screen time. This had to be the easiest job in the world for Brosnan - he's in the Bahamas, Salma Hayek's hangin' all over him, and he gets to tool around in a NICE blue Super Sport Camaro (looked to be a '69, like mine). Yeah, life must be so rough for the guy. JERK! Don Cheadle's role is about as thankless as it gets. If you're a fan of his, then don't expect to see too much of him. If you're a huge fan of Brosnan, then you might enjoy this more than I did. It feels a little like The Big Bounce, except it doesn't have Owen Wilson cracking wise. It does have Salma Hayek though! Have I mentioned that yet? But I'd still rate it slightly under The Big Bounce, so you're welcome to take that however you want. ODDS & ENDS Filmed on location in the Bahamas. Salma Hayek is hot. Pierce Brosnan has a really hairy chest. Thankfully, Salma does not. Salma Hayek was in Desperado with Steve Buscemi who was in Con Air with M.C. Gainey who was on an episode of The Young Riders with Josh Brolin who was in The Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon. MAMA'S APPROVAL This isn't exactly mama's cup of coffee. There's no nudity, but there is plenty of skimpy clothing, suggestive dialogue, and tonsil hockey. The language can get a little harsh at times as well, including one f-bomb. Leave the pre-teens at home. TRAILER COMPARISON The movie isn't really the "heist thriller" that the trailer led me to believe it would be. The trailer didn't exactly send me into gleeful hysterics, but I thought we'd see some cool, sophisticated thievery going on. Twas not meant to be I suppose. THE GIST If you want mild, easily forgettable entertainment with a few laughs but no great story to follow, then After the Sunset is tailor-made for you. I recommend waiting for it on video. Ms. Hayek alone makes it worth at least a rental.	RETURN TO HOME PAGE The Dark Knight Journey to the Center of the Earth Hancock Get Smart The Incredible Hulk The Strangers Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Young at Heart Iron Man Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed Weekend Results: 1. The Dark Knight($158,411,483) 2. Mamma Mia!($27,751,240) 3. Hancock($14,040,178) 4. Journey to the Center of the Earth($12,340,435) 5. Hellboy 2($10,117,815)

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