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Movie Review - The Ant Bully (2006)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
John A. Davis |
| Starring: |
The voices of Nicolas Cage, Bruce Campbell, Paul Giamatti, Julia Roberts, and Meryl Streep |
| Rated: |
PG (for some mild humor and action) |
| Length: |
88 minutes |
| Genre: |
Animation/Family |
| Tagline: |
The battle for the lawn is on. |
| Studio: |
Warner Bros. |
| Website: |
The Ant Bully |
| Release: |
July 28, 2006 |
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PLOT
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Lucas Nickle is a little four-eyed brat who the neighborhood bully loves to pick on. Lucas, after his daily
wedgie, takes his anger out on nearby anthills. One day he floods an ant colony with his watergun, prompting
the ants to drop a little magic elixir into his ear and shrink him down to ant size. He is then forced to live
and work like an ant, all in a life-changing lesson about community, family, and blah blah blah. A movie targeted
towards those not old enough to understand the meaning of "script" and "screenplay" ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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Are you looking for an entertaining little animated flick with ants in it? Well good news! A Bug's Life
is available on DVD. If you're looking for similar fun in The Ant Bully then you'll be staying in the
theater long after the credits roll still fruitlessly searching.
Typically, when I've failed to laugh within the first 10 or 15 minutes of a supposed comedy, I know it's going
to be a long night. In an effort to keep my attention focused on the movie, I take note of how many times I
actually laugh - this is always a good gauge of how ineffective the jokes are. The grand total of laughs during
The Ant Bully? Four. That's right; four clever, genuine laugh-inducing moments.
Everything else is a mere exercise in "how can we make little kids chuckle?" I'll give the movie credit - it will
definitely play well with 5-year-olds, but that's because it feels like it was written by one. No offense, but
the problem with that is 5-year-olds just aren't that funny or creative. Their stories are really only gonna be
tolerated by their peers or those who love them most.
Here's just one painful example of my experience with this film:
"Curse upon your children," Nicholas Cage's character exclaims towards a couple of rocks.
"I don't think rocks have children," replies his Julia Roberts-voiced wife.
"They won't now," Cage yells as he throws them on the ground.
The kids in the audience howl with laughter. Johnny rolls his eyes and looks at his watch.
There you have it. Expect 90 minutes of THAT. Throw in a completely unfunny grandmother who believes in aliens,
and you've got a long night at the theater.
I also have a bit of a problem with the villainous portrayal of the pest control man. What are we teaching our
children? That people who work in pest control are evil and their jobs aren't worthy of respect? Terrible
message. Insects ARE pests, and though they do have their place, there comes a time when some of them must be
killed. It's a little thing I like to call a fact of life. What's next; an animated film about how humans must
learn to live with termites?
The Ant Bully really beats us over the head with its messages on teamwork, family, and the abuse of
power. Here, I'll teach you that lesson real quick - it's good to work as a team, family is important, and
try not to abuse power. I just saved you $8 a pop and 90 minutes of your time. All I ask in return is a check
or Paypal payment for just half of what you would've paid for the entire family to see this. Thanks, and you're
welcome.
Come on, a movie where a kid finds his inner ant? And this is supposed to play well with adults? Seriously?
Sure, the sound and visuals are fine, and things pick up a bit at the end, but so what? Don't care. That doesn't
make up for the weak jokes and the "ants are heroic and humans are evil" themes. All it did was make me want to go
step on some ant hills.
The Ant Bully? More like The Ain't Funny.
Accuse me of taking this too seriously all you want, but as long as there are kid's movies that refuse to give
adequate entertainment to the adults who are forced to sit through them for the sake of their children, there's
going to be Johnny Betts standing up and harshly putting them in their place.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- Based on the John Nickle book that I will never read here nor in the afterlife.
- This is Julia Roberts' best role in years, but that's only because we never have to see her stupid gape-mouthed
horse smile.
- Writer/director John A. Davis admits in the press notes that he gets some of his wildest ideas by "tapping
into things that excited and entertained me as a kid."
- Too bad he also taps into his writing abilities from that same time period.
- Tom Hanks, serving as a producer, asks, "What human being hasn't fantasized about being the size of an ant and
living in their world?"
- Johnny Betts, serving as movie reviewer, responds, "That'd be me, Tom."
- The Ant Bully: An IMAX 3D Experience will play exclusively in IMAX 3D (duh), IMAX Dome, and IMAX Theatres
worldwide simultaneously with the film's debut in conventional theaters. This is for those of you who want to be
bored in three different dimensions.
- Johnny feels the movie should carry a PG-5 rating, meaning no one over 5 will be admitted without a child.
- John Debney was the music composer. Some of you will remember that he also did the music for The Young
Riders.
- Ants can't talk in real life and don't have magic elixirs that can shrink humans.
- Nicolas Cage was in Matchstick Men with Sam Rockwell who was in D.C. Smalls with Josh Brolin who
was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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Unless you're offended by the sight of an animated naked 10-year-old then there's really nothing here to bother you
or the kids.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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I wasn't impressed with the trailer, and I wasn't impressed with the movie.
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THE GIST
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The Ant Bully is just another example in a long line of animated movies that don't know how to appeal to
both children and adults. Quit using the ol' "but it's a kid's movie" excuse because Pixar has proven that it can
be done. Just watch A Bug's Life like I mentioned earlier.
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