"Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan  
Movie Review - Beowulf (2007)  

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(What this rating means)  
   
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Ray Winstone, Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich, Robin Wright Penn, Crispin Glover, and Angelina Jolie
Rated: PG-13 (for intense sequences of violence including disturbing images, some sexual material and nudity)
Length: 113 minutes
Genre: Animation/Adventure/Fantasy
Tagline: Pride is the curse.
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Website: Beowulf
Release: Bro'vember 16, 2007

PLOT

Basically, there's a gruff-voiced warrior named Beowulf who claims to have kicked many shapes and sizes of monster posterior. He and his men arrive on scene to save the Danes from a monster named Grendel. This doesn't sit too well with Grendel's mother who decides to start killin' and seducin'. If you want to know more then feel free to read the poem. 3-D ensues.

JOHNNY'S TAKE

Johnny Betts To be honest, I was never a big fan of the Beowulf poem. I'm pretty sure it's been Americanized in novel form, but back in high school we had to read the Old English version. "Easy to read" are not three words I would associate with it. However, "pain in the butt" are four. That didn't make much sense, I realize, but that's all designed to represent how puzzling the poem was to me when I was in junior high.

The above paragraph is a convoluted way for me to say I wasn't exactly punchin' mama in anticipation for this movie. That being confusingly stated, the movie - in its 3-D format - is a pleasant surprise. Is it a great movie? Not by any means. The story's routine, it drags like Joan Rivers' plastic surgery in several places, and it leaves little impression. However, you slap the 3-D aspect on this sucker, and lo and behold, it's theater-worthy!

Joan Rivers In fact, I'll go so far as to say that watching this in 3-D, particularly on an IMAX screen, is the only way to see it. I just can't imagine enjoying it anywhere near a similar level via DVD. The special effects are fantastic, and the 3-D is handled masterfully, really pulling you into the movie. When the story lags, there is always something cool to gaze upon.

If you go into this expecting a testosterone-fueled romp the likes of which has not been seen since 300 then you'll be disappointed. 300 is a spectacular film that stands on its own. The "graphic novel" special effects feel necessary to the story as opposed to coming off like a gimmick. Beowulf, however, needs the gimmick. Which is fine. I don't want to see the movie world inundated with 3-D flicks, but it's a nice diversion from the status quo. They tried something different, they did a good job with it, and they made it an enjoyable theater experience.

So if that's what you're looking for - an experience - then check it out. Just don't expect much depth beneath the slick 3-D surface.

ODDS & ENDS

  • Had a production budget of $70,000,000.


  • Angelina Jolie admitted in an interview that when she saw how her character looked, she was shocked to see how nude she really was, to the point that she said she was reluctant to allow Brad Pitt and her children to see the movie.


  • Ray Winstone was in The Proposition with Guy Pearce who was in Memento with Joe Pantoliano who was in The Goonies with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
MAMA'S APPROVAL

I thought for sure this was rated R! I guarantee you it would be if it weren't CGI. This is NOT for little kids. There is quite a bit of animated blood and guts. I mean, Grendel is snapping people in half, eating them, spearing them, tossing them around like rag dolls - the kind of stuff that gives little kids nightmares for a few nights. There is also quite a bit of sexual innuendo. Angelina Jolie's character is quite nude in a couple of scenes, and Beowulf is naked during his entire fight with Grendel. Like I said - not for kids.

TRAILER COMPARISON

In the trailers, the CGI looked a little distracting. However, it works in 3-D.

THE GIST

If you're gonna see Beowulf then see it in 3-D. The story isn't strong enough to stand on its own.

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