"Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan  
Movie Review - Dawn of the Dead  

ratings
 
(What this rating means)  
   
Director: Zack Snyder
Starring: Ving Rhames, Sarah Polley, Jake Weber, and Mekhi Phifer
Rated: R (strong horror violence, gore, language, and sexuality)
Length: 100 minutes
Genre: Horror
Website: Dawn of the Dead

PLOT

Some sort of plague (no explanation is given) is turning people into zombies. A handful of survivors take refuge in a mall and try to figure out how to survive. Buckets of blood, gore, and exploding zombie heads ensue.

JOHNNY'S TAKE

Johnny Betts This is a movie about zombies attacking people, zombies' heads being blown off, and zombies' limbs being cut off with chainsaws. That short description should let over half of you know whether you want to see this movie or not. If you don't like lots of blood and zombies being killed in a wide variety of ways, then why even consider seeing this movie?

Personally, I can go either way in regard to zombie movies. For example, I liked "Resident Evil," but "28 Days Later" bored me to tears. Well, not literally, but it was close. Actually, I think I yawned so wide once that a tear DID come out of my eye. I still don't know why "28 Days Later" was as hyped as it was. The movie started off at a decent pace (for about 5 minutes), but it stopped to catch its breath and NEVER GOT STARTED AGAIN! "Dawn of the Dead" is the movie that "28 Days Later" should've been.

Britney's fans "Dawn of the Dead" is classified as a "remake," but it's not really that similar to the original. A more accurate statement would be to say it's "based on" the original. Unlike the original (and I know I'm gonna catch flak for this), this movie is actually entertaining. And by "entertaining" I mean it's a movie that didn't put Stephanie to sleep and have me wondering when it'd be over. I honestly don't know why so many people love the original so much. I hear people praise the "social commentary" in it. Whatever. The movie was slow-paced, boring, cheesy, had bad acting, and had even worse music. I didn't dig it at all.

The "remake," however, is much more fast-paced. Zombies are being run over, shot, and blown up at a pretty rapid clip. I don't know about the average zombie movie mark, but that's what I want to see in a zombie movie! If that kind of stuff bothers you or makes you squeamish, then this isn't for you.

I've read a lot of complaining about how the zombies in the new "Dawn of the Dead" are super fast. "That's not possible," they say, "Everybody knows that zombies should be slow and lumbering because they're dead and the body has stiffened! This just isn't accurate!" Is that so? Well, I'd like to make a statement about that:

*ahem*

ZOMBIES AREN'T REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get over it! You know, maybe *these* zombies have been infected with some sort of poison that makes them super fast, ever thought about that? Call me untraditional, but I don't mind if somebody puts his own spin on a FICTIONAL CHARACTER! Sorry, but really slow zombies don't scare me.

Joan Rivers Why in the world would I be scared of a zombie that I could out run? Oh look, a zombie is stumbling towards me, wooooooooo! That's real scary! Let me catch a quick nap, and then I'll get out of here. Please. But a zombie that can run faster than I can? Now *that* would freak me out. So I'll break away from all the fanboys and say that the fast-moving zombies in the new DotD are much scarier than the awkwardly slow zombies from the old DotD. They're freakier looking as well.

I also like how the new DotD introduces a specific style of zombie - the twitcher. The twitcher is a rather harmless zombie that basically just shakes and moves around with no real rhythm. Imagine a white person trying to dance at the office Christmas party and you've got an idea of what the twitcher is.

Overall, the acting is actually pretty good. I especially liked Ving Rhames' no-nonsense, tough-guy character. Nobody's gonna be taking home an Oscar for this movie, but they all did a good job of making you feel they were really in a bad and tense situation.

American Idol If you decide to see this movie at the theater, then I recommend trying to find the least populated theater possible. The screening I attended was full of people who LOVED to talk to the movie. "Get away from her, foo! Whatchoo doin'?? Ohhhhhh, don't tell me he's goin' in there! Oh no he ain't!" And everybody loved to carry on LOUD conversations during really tense, quiet parts of the movie. Either that, or they'd laugh at the strangest things. For instance, there's a scene with a zombie baby. We see the zombie baby, and it's definitely freakish looking, and you just know what they've got to do. Off camera you hear a gunshot. I'm thinking, "That'd be so awful. I know it's a zombie and all, but man, it's still a baby! I couldn't do it." But what's the reaction of the rest of the audience? Applause and laughter. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!?! This isn't a joyous occasion that should be celebrated!

The bottom line is if you love fast-paced zombie movies with lots of gore and kills, then you might dig this. Don't expect a great plot because that's definitely not the focal point of this movie. And be prepared to be annoyed at some of the characters (especially the chick who risks her life for a dog). And remember, watching this with the wrong crowd can make this a less-than-pleasurable experience.

MAMA'S APPROVAL

Neverland Um, no. Tons of gore and violence. That didn't stop some morons from bringing their 5-year-old kids though. Unbelievable. I just don't understand some people. Lots of cussing (several f-words), and a little bit of sexuality (including a couple of seconds of a topless woman). This isn't for kids, the squeamish, or the easily offended.

TRAILER COMPARISON

You get about what you expect from the trailer. No big surprises, but the trailer might not prepare you for just how much gore there is.

THE GIST

Go Johnny Betts! If you love zombie movies that will lull you to sleep and try to impress you with false pretenses of social commentary, then check out "28 Days Later." However, if you like your zombie movies with blood, gore, fast-moving zombies, a good amount of tension, and a little humor mixed in, then "Dawn of the Dead" will keep you entertained.

P.S. Stay for the closing credits.

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