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Movie Review - The Day After Tomorrow
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Roland Emmerich |
| Starring: |
Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal |
| Rated: |
PG-13 (for intense situations of peril) |
| Length: |
124 minutes |
| Genre: |
Action/Disaster Flick |
| Website: |
The Day After Tomorrow |
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PLOT
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A climatologist (Quaid) tries to figure out a way to save the world *snicker* from inexplicably abrupt global
warming. He's also determined to get to New York, which is being taken over by a new ice age, to find his
son (Gyllenhaal). Junk science, a lame story, and plenty of unintentional laughs ensue.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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Do you like a good old-fashioned action-packed Summer movie with a good story and scientific accuracy?
Welp, you best keep on looking because you won't find those ingredients in "The Day After Tomorrow."
This is one of those movies where the entertainment value is in how much you can make fun of it.
And believe me, Stephanie, Mr. Shade, and I poked fun at the movie for the entire two hours.
What else can you do with a movie this ridiculous? I'll admit the special effects are really good.
The problem is that they're used up in the first half of the movie. I was expecting a full 2 hours
of action and chaos, but they got all that out of the way and the rest of the movie focuses on the
characters and their attempts to survive.
How cheesy is this movie? Let me count the ways...
- Gyllenhaal supposedly fails his math class because on his final exam he only wrote the answers.
He did all the work in his head, you see. That's just how much of a genius he is. So he and Quaid
determine the teacher just failed him because he's jealous. Um, when I was in school I had to show
my work. Sorry to be the bad guy here, but it's easy to see why the teacher might be suspicious.
But this is a final exam, so wouldn't this issue have been addressed earlier? Sigh. I thought for
sure later in the movie Gyllenhaal was gonna save the world but he was gonna figure it out in his
head so the movie wouldn't have to explain to us how he did it. Thankfully, the movie didn't get
quite that extreme.
- This movie leads us to believe that a tornado warning cannot be issued until turning on the news
and checking the weather report.
- You gotta love the overdramatic delivery of dialogue: "Looks like a hurricane." *dramatic pause*
"Only hurricanes DON'T FORM OVER LAND!"
- The temperature supposedly starts to drop 10 degrees per second. Riiiiiiiight. So within a minute
the temperature would be 600 degrees below zero? And as the temperature starts dropping, we see
everything freezing. Particularly ridiculous is when Gyllenhaal and his buddies are in a library and
we see the floor freezing and chasing after them. They manage to jump in a room and close the door
JUST IN TIME! For some reason the door magically shields them from the cold. Whatever.
- Quaid and his friends are able to survive walking in sub-zero temperatures with little more than
parkas and gloves. And they have these tents that apparently have magical warming powers because
once in the tents they're able to take off their gloves and hats and not be cold at all!
I could go on, but I think you get it. Ohhh, and what was the point of Quaid walking all the
way from D.C. to New York just to find his son? He knew his son was holed up in the library, and
he didn't show up with a rescue squad or anything to take him home. Oh yeah, he made a promise. Mr.
Shade leaned over to me and said, "If I ever promise you that I'll meet you at the movie theater and
the whole world freezes over, then don't expect me to be there." Fair enough. It was obviously
supposed to add an emotional element to the story, but it did nothing for me. Quaid should've just
waited and taken a helicopter to New York after the storm died down. It would've been better than
risking his and his partners' lives.
I could write a thesis on the absurdity of the science used in the movie, but I won't bore you.
There are plenty of articles by climatologists you can read that state how the events in the movie
are impossible, especially a glaciation of this magnitude occurring in three days and catching the
ENTIRE WORLD by surprise. Folks, Memphis weathermen interrupt my regularly scheduled programming
whenever a drop of rain is registered, so you better believe they'd be on top of this.
Let me just add that this movie is based on the book, "The Coming Global Superstorm" by Art Bell and
Whitley Strieber. Strieber wrote another book called "Communion," in which he claims he was told of
the Earth's upcoming apocalypse by aliens. If that's who you wanna get your science from then go ahead.
I hope you'll excuse me while I point and laugh at you.
I feel sorry for fringe groups who are actually using this movie to tout their political agenda.
Saying this is a movie people should watch to prepare for a possible global warming catastrophe
is about as legitimate as saying people should watch "Dawn of the Dead"
to prepare for what would happen if zombies attacked. I'd say they're on equal ground in regard
to scientific accuracy. But I doubt too many moviegoers are gonna take this seriously.
There's so much more to make fun of, but I'm gonna stop myself. I was extremely disappointed in
the movie, so there's a good chance you will be also. Going into the movie I was willing to ignore
the scientific inaccuracy I was expecting, but I simply can't ignore the cheesiness of the story or
the woeful dialogue. This is the type of movie that shows a weatherman get hit by a huge billboard
during the middle of the storm, and the only emotion it prompts is laughter. You've been warned.
Now if y'all will excuse me, I'm gonna head to the bathroom and take a Day After Tomorrow.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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There are a couple of profanities, but the most offensive thing about this movie is the insult that it is to
one's intelligence.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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This is definitely a case where the trailer is much better than the movie. After I saw the trailer I thought
the movie looked pretty cool. Unfortunately, the trailer pretty much shows the majority of the action that's
in the movie. It leads you to believe that the movie will be much more action-packed and hectic than it
actually is.
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THE GIST
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"The Day After Tomorrow" is the kind of movie that might have scared me when I was 6 years old and
uneducated. Now I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. But hey, if you like movies
with overwrought dialogue, a lame attempt at a love story, a severe lack of tension, no emotional
pull (other than laughter), less believability than "Independence Day," and one of the most
anticlimactic endings I've ever seen in a Summer blockbuster, then this is the movie for you.
Photos Copyright ©2004 20th Century Fox. All Rights Reserved.
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