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Movie Review - The Descent (2006)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Neil Marshall |
| Starring: |
Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder, MyAnna Buring, and Nora-Jane Noone |
| Rated: |
R (for strong violence/gore and language) |
| Length: |
99 minutes |
| Genre: |
Horror/Thriller |
| Tagline: |
Afraid of the dark? You will be. |
| Studio: |
Lionsgate Films |
| Website: |
The Descent |
| Release: |
August 4, 2006 |
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PLOT
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One year after a tragic accident, six girlfriends meet in a remote (of course) part of the Appalachians for their
annual extreme outdoor adventure. They've decided to have some real fun and explore a cave hidden (let's say it
together...) deep in the woods. As you have most likely guessed by now, they travel a couple of miles below the
earth's surface, disaster strikes, and there appears to be no way out.
Things get really messy when the tight-shirted girls realize there are a bunch of inbred Gollums residing in the
depths of the cave. As the girls hurriedly try to find an exit from this nightmare, they get separated and some
of them start to get really dead really fast. The gals' survival instincts kick in as they prepare to fight for
their lives. Somebody call Ted Nugent because it's a FREE FOR ALL! Spelunking tension ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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Smothering. Suffocating. Stomach-churning. All words to describe the feeling of Rosie O'Donnell sitting on your
chest (I lost a bet in college once; don't ask). But these words also accurately describe Lionsgate's European
horror import The Descent. I wish "scintillating story" were two other "s" words I could use in my
cute little description, but I guess we can't always have it all. Darn you Bogey and McCall!
Be aware that this is a film for hardcore horror films. It's gory. Gorier than I expected. If you're not in the
mood to see thumbs digging into eye sockets, heads being bashed against rocks, sharp objects going through
jugulars, or the cringe-inducing sight of broken bones and gaping wounds then you might want to look for something
a little lighter to satisfy your entertainment needs. If you're a self-admitted wuss then you'll probably feel
more at home at a James Blount concert. But if you like a slice of horror served raw, gritty, and with nastiness
to spare then The Descent will highly entertain.
The atmosphere is effectively eerie, the tension is constant and claustrophobic, and the cave setting rarely
allows a moment of comfort. Some of the best visuals happen even before we're introduced to the cave-dwelling
creatures. I felt uneasy just watching these lovely ladies crawling through tight spots and hanging over
cavernous spaces. The creatively subtle use of music only adds to the discomfort and helps make our anticipation
of what's going to happen even more unsettling than what we eventually see play out on screen.
I also really liked seeing a handful (plus one) of girls flex their toned little muscles and kick some
monster rumpage. I don't always need my heroes to be big tough guys with five o'clock shadow to spare and
cigars to chomp. Feel free to give me some ladies who are ready to throw down and refuse to cringe and cry in
the corner. Of course, I prefer that they be fit and fairly good-looking. I am a male, after all. But the director
is to be commended for using the ladies as more than mere window dressing.
Granted, I'm not sure how the deformed-looking Gollum creatures could easily kill huge animals and strip them to
the bone yet they were easily punked out by some skinny gals, but that's just one of those internal flaws that you
have to resign yourself to not obsess over.
There are a few of those throughout the film. The biggest flaw being that there isn't much story of which to
speak. Read my plot description and you've got about 90% of the story. Though I do highly recommend that
you pay careful attention to who's who and what's what at the very beginning. Otherwise, you might be
confused as to why certain things happen at the end of the movie.
There's still a good chance you'll be confused anyway because for some inexplicable reason the filmmakers
decided to go the whole "let's make the audience scratch their collective head and go huh?" conclusion. Why?
It's a disappointment. I wanted a finale that would really knock me over. Saw's final
10 minutes come to mind.
I've heard that the European version's ending was more satisfying, so I guess I'll have to wait and see
if the DVD gives me the closure I was craving. Something a little less clichéd, perhaps. We know; women scorned
have a lot of fury. Apparently Hell is no match for them. But come on, would... no, I won't say any more; I
don't want to spoil anything, so I'm stopping here.
The Descent won't appeal to all audiences, but it'll definitely please all you horror fans who are sick and
tired of crap like When a Stranger Calls that thinks 90 minutes of a
phone ringing is satisfactory tension.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- After the hospital scene at the beginning, no males appear in the rest of the movie. Johnny's not
complaining.
- The girls have nice spelunk-a-dunks. I have to give Mr. Shade credit for that one. Now that the Movie Mark has
officially coined this term let's try to make it popular with cavers!
- If my ability to convert English pounds to American dollars is as sharp as I think it is then the film's
budget was approximately $6,600,000.
- Johnny thinks the poster's pretty cool.
- Johnny went on a wild cave tour once and would like to go again soon. He'll stay away from caves with
human-sized creatures though.
- Mr. Shade dubbed the film The Decent because he thought it was entertaining but not as great as a lot
of its buzz would suggest.
- Natalie Mendoza was in The Great Raid with James Franco who is in the upcoming The Dead Girl
with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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Please leave the kids at home for this one. This is extremely gory, and the tension and jump scenes will most
likely give the wee ones nightmares. Enough f-bombs are dropped throughout to make mama's ears hurt. No
nudity is to be found except for a slight hint of it on one of the female creatures. You'd have to be pretty
desperate to get all excited about that though.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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I would definitely say that the trailer is a good indication of what to expect, although it might not
adequately prepare you for how much gore you're gonna get.
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THE GIST
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If you like your horror films loaded with atmosphere, tension, and gore then you'll be highly entertained by
The Descent. However, if you demand a deep plot and detailed backstories then you just might be
disappointed. Your best bet is to go in fully prepared to ignore the film's logical flaws and its sometimes
crutch-like usage of cheap (yet effective) "jump scares." The faint-of-heart need not apply.
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