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Movie Review - Drillbit Taylor (2008)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Steven Brill |
| Starring: |
Owen Wilson, Nate Hartley, Troy Gentile, David Dorfman, Alex Frost, and Leslie Mann |
| Rated: |
PG-13 (for crude sexual references throughout, strong bullying, language, drug references and partial nudity) |
| Length: |
102 minutes |
| Genre: |
Comedy |
| Tagline: |
You get what you pay for. |
| Studio: |
Paramount Pictures |
| Website: |
Drillbit Taylor |
| Release: |
March 21, 2008 |
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PLOT
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Ryan (Troy Gentile) and Wade (Nate Hartley) are typical high school kids - they're geeks who desperately want to be liked. Throw in the elfin, Willem Dafoe-looking Emmit (David Dorfman)
as the typical pint-sized, Rent-shirt wearing dork who is probably too smart and cultured for his own good, and you've got quite the loser trio. Still, they start their first day in
high school with lifted spirits ... until a Slim Shady wannabe (Alex Frost) and his dopey-looking lackey (Josh Peck) start dishing out brutal bully beatdowns. Before they become
completely engulfed in the bullies' reign of terror, they decide to seek out protection by placing an ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine.
Spurning help from the likes of Chuck Liddell and Adam Baldwin, they decide to go the cheapest route - Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson). Drillbit is a former Army Ranger who is now
homeless - well, he prefers to say "home-free" - and only looking for a means to buy a plane ticket to Canada. Will the kids discover that Drillbit has no clue what he's talking
about? Will he take the money and run, leaving them open to four years of abuse? Or will they form a bond and triumph over "bully evil," once and for all? Beatdowns ensue.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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Look, let's be honest. Let's create an open and soul-baring dialogue. Drillbit Taylor is stupid. It's predictable. It's cliché. It's chock full of slapstick. And much like
Cameron Diaz's chances of ever winning a Pulitzer Prize, it's highly unrealistic. But you know what? I laughed. Quite a few times. Did you see director Steven Brill's last film
Without a Paddle? It was all of the above as well, and guess what - that's right; there were a couple of times when I laughed
my well-toned buttocks off.
Other than one time in 1st grade, I was never really picked on in school, but I'm still a sucker for movies where a bully gets his comeuppance.
My Bodyguard and Three O'Clock High are classics in my book. There's something inside most of us that inspires us to root for the underdog. Tear life down to its very basics
and we all truly want to see good triumph over evil. Unless you're just a flat-out heathen then David's unlikely victory over Goliath warms the ol' heart cockles.
And Drillbit Taylor does one thing really well - it creates two bullies that you'll absolutely loathe. The producers did a good job of finding two guys who possess such an air of unjustified smugness that
I don't think I could be friends with them in real life because they merely LOOK like major douchebags. Good job, guys! Are they fairly unrealistic? Yeah. I doubt too many bullies are hurtling
Samurai swords at people and driving their cars into strangers' garage doors, but this is a work of fiction, so an initial acceptance of the implausible is highly necessary if you're gonna
find any enjoyment in the film.
Now, the problem is that the ball is dropped in finding three kids that I could really relate to. See, my sympathy was extended mainly because I couldn't stand the bullies, not because
I really felt bad for the kids. Take Emmit, for example. The kid's annoying. Anybody that young who looks like Willem Dafoe, speaks in such a high-pitched squawk, and wears Rent and
Cats shirts, well, he really is begging for a butt-kicking, and it's something that might actually do him good in life. These kids are too vulgar for a younger generation to embrace,
and they're simply not sympathetic or realistic enough for me to give much of a crap.
I know that Judd Apatow, who is only a co-producer, had limited creative input here, but how many of you ever watched Freaks and Geeks? Apatow and Paul Feig (the show's creator)
did a masterful job in creating three geeks (Sam, Bill, and Neil) that audiences could truly relate to and care about. When they got bullied, you were concerned because you cared about
THEM more than you hated the bully. And that's why Drillbit Taylor won't etch its name in the pantheon of bully classics.
But hey, I still got a few free laughs out of it. Owen Wilson always excels at taking adequate material and squeezing more laughs out of it than he should be able to. Yes, it's dumb.
No, not everybody will enjoy it, particularly movie snobs and critics well into their 40s and 50s. This isn't for everybody, and that's exactly why I'm not recommending it to
everybody! But if you're halfway interested then I recommend you lower your expectations, check your brain at the door, and feel free to enjoy a chuckle or two.
I've already told you it's stupid. But it has its moments of stupid-funny as well, and sometimes that's just enough to get you through a couple of hours.
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SIDE-HUG SAM'S TWO CENTS
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My seating accommodations were much better this time around. I didn't have to sit on a kitchen chair. I could hear the audience whisper "Who is that guy with Johnny Betts? He looks like he
gives good hugs!" Yep, that's me: Side-Hug Sam. Although I did have to tangle with something resembling a green Trout Line stretched across our row of chairs. I guess it was there to tell
everyone "This is reserved for Johnny Betts and Side-Hug Sam."
Drillbit Taylor has everything it needs to make a classic movie: A cameo appearance by future UFC Hall of Famer The Iceman Chuck Liddell. 'Nuff said.
The movie introduces you to a motley crew of first-year high school outcasts. You have Wade, the skinny, unsure-of-himself-unless-he's-by-himself, intimidated-by-his-jock-of-a-stepfather kid.
Ryan is the fat kid, a white gangster rapper that can't shut his mouth and is way too big for his britches. And then there's Emmit, the kid that still hasn't hit puberty and probably skipped
5 grades. Emmit also has an affinity for Broadway shows such as Cats and isn't afraid to wear the t-shirts.
Our hero is Drillbit Taylor. He was discharged from the Army for Unauthorized Heroism, if you believe that sort of stuff. He's also homeless. If all homeless people were as cool as Drillbit
Taylor, I'd probably have a lot of homeless friends though. I'm thinking out loud here.
Let's just say, with the poor social skills these kids have, they don't fit in well at their new high school. Part of this may be because the school appears to have no faculty whatsoever.
Just an observation. The teachers and principal do eventually make an appearance or two.
The high school bullies won't relent on our 3 kids, and they turn to trying to hire a personal bodyguard. That's where we see our awesome cameo from Chuck Liddell! Ultimately, they hire Owen
Wilson as Drillbit Taylor after he lies to them about his extensive past as an Army Special Forces soldier.
It's pretty much your typical movie script after this. Drillbit milks the kids for their money because he's a fraud. He falls in love with a girl. The kids confront both the bullies and Drillbit.
Drillbit redeems himself. Did I mention Chuck Liddell is in this movie?
Overall, it is better than I expected. Owen Wilson was barely, just barely, able to carry the movie on his own (with help from Chuck Liddell). I laughed out loud a couple of times and jabbed
Johnny with my elbow as if to say "laugh too, sucker" or "check it out, it's Chuck Liddell!"
There are a quite a few uses of G*d D*% and Jesus. The fat kid has a filthy mouth.
References to God:
Drillbit Taylor says, "Like the good Lord, I'm gunna work in mysterious ways."
Music I'm listening to while writing this:
Counting Crows - Jumpin' Jesus
Johnny Cash - Belshazzar
Pearl Jam - Faithful
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ODDS & ENDS
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- Wanna read how Johnny Betts rose to the challenge and defeated a bully? Click here.
- Freaks and Geeks shout-out! The boys attend McKinley High School - the same name as the high school in the TV classic.
- Adam Baldwin has a cameo as one of the bodyguards the boys interview. Savvy moviegoers will remember that Baldwin played the bodyguard in My Bodyguard. He wears a similar jacket to the
one he wore way back then.
- Apatow brought the story to his frequent collaborator as an actor, writer and producer, Seth Rogen, and yet another acclaimed comic voice who has worked with both of them before, Kristofor
Brown. "I thought they would really relate to this material and bring something fun to this high school world," says Apatow. "Since Seth and I had worked on Freaks and Geeks together, it
was sort of familiar territory. And we were all really inspired by the idea of trying to create a 2008 version of one of those great John Hughes movies from the '80s."
- Rogen notes that both he and Brown had an instant affinity for the story, which was close, perhaps too close, to their own reality: "I was bullied when I first got into high school and
didn't know how to deal with it and so was Kris," he says ruefully. "Let's just say we had a lot of personal experience with this stuff."
- For further inspiration, Rogen and Brown, as well as Apatow, went back to review some classic high school bully comedies - including Tony Bill's 1980s hit My Bodyguard and Phil
Joanou's cult classic Three O'Clock High. "We had a great time re-watching the greatest bully movies of all time," says Apatow, "especially My Bodyguard, which had such a great
tone."
- Years ago, Apatow had cast Wilson for his first major Hollywood role - as the hapless date who gets beaten up by Jim Carrey in The Cable Guy. "Judd, bless his heart, could see
something there, a little diamond in the rough," recalls Wilson. "And it's kind of ironic that we've now made a movie in which I'm protecting these kids from the kinds of things that
happened to me in The Cable Guy, such as getting my head dunked in a toilet."
- Troy Gentile has twice played a young Jack Black in Nacho Libre and Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny.
- David Dorfman was in The Ring with Naomi Watts who was in Stay with Ewan McGregor who was in Nightwatch with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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Mama would stamp a big "NO" on this one. Profanity consists of a few G-d**ns, several "s" bombs, and other salty words. Owen Wilson's a bum who likes to shower naked on the beach. We know this because
we see two separate scenes showcasing his naked rear end while showering. Some of the bullying is a little too violent for younger audiences. I wouldn't let my 12-year-old brother watch it, so I recommend
you take similar precautions.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you - the only thing the commercials and trailers did were lower my expectations. They didn't impress me in the least. So I'm happy to say I walked out of the
theater with more laughs than I was counting on.
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THE GIST
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You won't find me claiming Drillbit Taylor is a great movie, but I'm willing to admit I laughed quite a few times. You, on the other hand, might find it way too stupid. This is perfect
rental fodder, and I definitely wouldn't spend anything more than matinee money on it.
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