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	Movie Review - Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)     (What this rating means)       Director: Carlos Saldanha Starring: the voices of Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, and Queen Latifah Rated: PG (for some mild language and innuendo) Length: 91 minutes Genre: Animation/Family Tagline: Kiss Your Ice Goodbye Studio: 20th Century Fox Website: Ice Age: The Meltdown Release: March 30, 2006 PLOT All the ice from the Ice Age is melting and a bunch of talking, animated prehistoric animals have to survive. Oh, and a squirrel named Scrat continues his effort to get the nut he so desires. A sequel to a CGI movie that I never saw ensues. JOHNNY'S TAKE Ice Age: The Meltdown is a perfect example of the kind of movie I hate to review. No matter what I say, it's going to make approximately $1 billion on opening weekend, so what's the point? Plus, a lot of my readers are guys who are only interested in movies where at least 42 people get shot or Adam Sandler talks in a funny voice and makes sounds that have no grammatical basis. The day they go to see Ice Age: The Meltdown is the day Rob Schneider gets nominated for an Oscar, which would most likely also be the day I vow to stop watching movies completely. So writing this review is nothing more than an exercise in futility. If you enjoyed the original then you'll go see this follow-up no matter how harsh I am. If you hated the original then even my softest, most poetic words would be hard-pressed to convince you this was worth your time or money. So you know what? Go with your gut on this one; I really don't care either way. I never saw Ice Age so I can't compare the two. All I know is that this installment, while cute and pleasant enough, has no real "wow" factor. Sure, it looks nice and is fairly harmless, but it tries just a little too hard to cater to the smallest of children while leaving most adults a little alienated. The problem is that the writers at Pixar have mastered the fine art of being clever enough to appeal equally to both children and adults (think Toy Story and The Incredibles). Everybody else (yes, this means you, Ice Age) is just a distant contender with a flair for pretty graphics rather than sharp storytelling. I heard somebody on the radio refer to Ice Age 2 as "better than Toy Story." As Teaspoon Hunter might say, "Cow pies." Not even close. You can sell that some place else, Sam Cain, because Emma ain't buyin' it (sorry, a little Young Riders (buy the DVD!) reference for you). Now if I had been hired to work on the movie then I would've titled it Ice Age: The Final Countdown. At the end of the movie CGI versions of the members of Europe would have shown up and all the prehistoric animals would have jammed to their undeserved hit The Final Countdown. That would've been some sweet action, and you know it. Just picture CGI versions of the bandmates' bad 80s hairdos. Talk about a missed opportunity. ODDS & ENDS My 11-year-old brother went to the screening with me. After noticing that he seemed to get fidgety I asked what he thought of the movie. He replied, "It was OK." That's about all I feel like adding to this section. Denis Leary was in Loaded Weapon 1 with William Shatner who is in Boston Legal with James Spader who was in Slow Burn with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon. MAMA'S APPROVAL This one's safe for mama's consumption. TRAILER COMPARISON No big surprises. THE GIST Ice Age: The Meltdown didn't exactly knock my socks off but it didn't insult my intelligence either. See it if you want. Or don't. Doesn't matter to me.	RETURN TO HOME PAGE The Dark Knight Journey to the Center of the Earth Hancock Get Smart The Incredible Hulk The Strangers Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Young at Heart Iron Man Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed Weekend Results: 1. The Dark Knight($158,411,483) 2. Mamma Mia!($27,751,240) 3. Hancock($14,040,178) 4. Journey to the Center of the Earth($12,340,435) 5. Hellboy 2($10,117,815)

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