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Movie Review - Leatherheads (2008)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
George Clooney |
| Starring: |
George Clooney, Renée Zellweger, and John Krasinski |
| Rated: |
PG-13 (for brief strong language) |
| Length: |
114 minutes |
| Genre: |
Comedy/Drama/Romance |
| Tagline: |
In the beginning, the rules were simple. There weren't any. |
| Studio: |
Universal |
| Website: |
Leatherheads |
| Release: |
April 3, 2008 |
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PLOT
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It's 1925, and the football landscape is vastly different than that of the 21st century. College football is widely popular, with enthusiastic fans packing stadiums, while professional
football is an afterthought. Its players are pariahs. Drunkards. Rapscallions who can't find respectable work. Even the best college football players laugh scoffingly at the thought
of playing professionally. There's no money there. But Dodge Connelly (Clooney) wants to legitimize it. Yes, he wants to make money in the process, but bringing respect
to his chosen sport is the best avenue for him to do that.
What we've got here is the setup for an interesting movie. Unfortunately, the story's plot takes a weird left turn and derails into a hodgepodge of genres. It turns out that college
phenom Carter Rutherford (Krasinski) isn't quite the war hero everyone thought him to be, and reporter Lexie Littleton (Zellweger) is sent to get the scoop. Naturally, a love triangle
develops and the story's focus meanders, failing to ever really get back on track. A pretty big disappointment ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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If a group of moviegoers ever decided to band together and sue a studio for false advertisement, then Leatherheads would be a perfect choice for Exhibit A. I'm sorry, but I
was fairly certain that the trailer informed me that I would be treated to a comical look at 1920s professional football and one man's attempt to legitimize it. Football when the
helmets were made of leather, the pads were minimal, and a fourth quarter fist fight was just part of the attraction. Maybe it's just me, but I tend to prefer accuracy in the
expectations that a movie's trailer presents. Welp, if you also saw the trailer and thought, "Cool! A light-hearted comedy about the early days of football when there were no
rules!" then you might want to go ahead and start reassessing right now. This movie's story structure is all over the place.
"All over the place? What were you doing with it?!"
Sorry, I'm a huge Fawlty Towers fan. Getting back to the review...
I guess if you like weird, disjointed movies that have no semblance of cohesion and that walk with a pace as uneven as Heather Mills' lilt then Leatherheads might be what
you're looking for. As for me, I was never able to recover from my disappointment in the film's multiple personality disorder. Is it a movie about 1925-era football? Is it a
goofy, madcap Beverly Hillbillies wannabe? Is it a drama about one man's hyperbolized war heroics? Is it a love story between two actors (Clooney and Zellweger) that possess very
little chemistry? I don't know, and neither does the film. It attempts to be all of the above and really doesn't succeed in any one genre, failing even worse in bringing
it all together for a unified presentation.
The initial groundwork, you know, the stuff that actually dealt with football, is laid out very nicely. For approximately the first 20 minutes, the film entertains with some
nice comedic moments and the introduction of what looks to be a few quirky-yet-loveable characters. Shortly after that, however, the movie makes a rash decision to do more than
it can handle and the result is a big ol' fat stink bomb.
During one terminally boring scene, where Clooney and Zellweger are slow-dancing and snoozefest-talking, boring 1920s music fills the air and severe ennui filled my soul.
Thinking that the film had to be nearing a conclusion, I looked at my watch and recoiled in utter shock at the realization that we were only one hour and fifteen minutes into
this sucker. Knowing this was a film possessing nearly a two-hour runtime, I internally responded, "WHAT?!?!?! You have got to be kidding me! We have 45 minutes to go???
NOOOOOO!!!!" Had I been watching this on TV the channel would have been summarily changed.
The interaction between Zellweger and Clooney reaches stratospheric levels of annoyance. The writers think they're treating viewers to a rapid-fire exchange of witty one-liners, but
the dialogue is nowhere near as clever as presumed by whoever penned it. Clooney's delivery of lines such as, "You're the kind of cocktail that comes on like sugar but gives
ya a kick in the head," is filled with a strong desire to mimic the Cary Grant movies of old that this hopelessly wants to be, but it all falls "Kate Moss flat." Clooney should've
just appended every line of dialogue with an overly-exaggerated, "Ya see!" while tapping a cigar. Renée, desperately attempting to channel The Hudsucker Proxy-era Jennifer
Jason Leigh, delivers little more than her two most recognizable skills - squinting and pooching out her lips.
Oh, and I can't finish this review without commenting on a ridiculous scene involving a fight between Clooney and Jim from The Office. They punch each other in the face
for about five straight minutes and then neither one has a busted lip, bloody nose, or bruised eye? Please. Lesson #17 in life - if you have the opportunity to punch George Clooney
in the face then you MAKE THE MOST OUT OF IT! Oh well.
After spending approximately 75% of its time on a completely unengaging story regarding the legitimacy of Jim from The Office's war heroics and an even less-involving love
story, Leatherheads makes one last attempt to jump back into the football sub-plot. The goal here is to show us how boring football became once rules were initiated.
Ironically, what we're watching on screen is just as mundane and listless as what the movie extras are pretending to watch on the field. But wait! Dodge Connelly, that ol'
ne'er-do-well, has one last trick up his sleeve! Sadly, it's a very anti-climactic and nonsensical trick. Come on, the easiest job for a sports movie to accomplish is to send
its audience home on a high note and a smile, yet, Leatherheads can't even kick that simple field goal.
The good news is I didn't pay to see the film. The bad news is that will likely prevent me from participating in the false advertisement class action lawsuit. But never fear,
I hereby make myself available to take the stand as a corroborating witness. You know how to reach me.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- The screenplay was written by Sports Illustrated writers Duncan Brantley and Rick Reilly.
- Reilly says the script was written in 1991 and originally included much more football. Leave it to the studios to cut that out!
- This isn't really based on a true story. Leather helmets were indeed used at one time, and some of the characters are representative of those during that era, but the majority
of the 48 different sub-plots are fictional.
- George Clooney was in From Dusk Till Dawn with Tom Savini who was in Planet Terror with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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This one will be fine once it's edited for television, but the theatrical cut contains a few "s" bombs, several G-d**ns, and other vain uses of the Lord's name.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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Like I alluded to in the review, this is one of the most misleading trailers I have seen in a long time. You will NOT get what you are expecting. I'm not joking when I
say it's been a while since I've been so shocked in the difference between what I was expecting and what I actually got.
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THE GIST
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Most of the people I know who want to see this are basing that desire on the misconception that this is a movie about the early days of football. I would NOT label this
a football movie. It tries to mix in too much, and none of it really gels. If you really want to see it then I strongly recommend you consider saving your money until
it makes it to DVD. There's nothing to be gained by paying $9+ to see it on the big screen.
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