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Movie Review - The Legend of Zorro (2005)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Martin Campbell |
| Starring: |
Antonio Banderas, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Nick Chinlund |
| Rated: |
PG (for sequences of violence/peril and action, language and a couple of suggestive moments) |
| Length: |
129 minutes |
| Genre: |
Action/Adventure |
| Tagline: |
None. |
| Studio: |
Sony Pictures |
| Website: |
The Legend of Zorro |
| Release: |
October 28, 2005 |
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PLOT
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Ms. Cali: It's a few years (ten I think?) after The Mask of Zorro, and Antonio y
Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones's Spanish alter-ego are married and have a small child (approximately 7 or so ...
he's in school) named Joaquim. California is voting for statehood, so of course there's trouble, and only Zorro
can help. Rollicking good fun ensues (Mr. Cali said I sounded like Gene Shallot using a phrase like "rollicking
good fun").
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JOHNNY'S AND MS. CALI'S TAKES
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Johnny Betts: Ms. Cali saw an L.A. screening of this way back in June.
I saw it last night (October 27). This is our banter. I can't promise a finely-tuned, beautifully-polished,
professional review for this one, but you should at least get the point and hopefully be entertained a bit in the
process. Don't hold me to that though.
Ms. Cali: If you liked the original Zorro movie, you'll hate this one (according to Mr.
C). I personally couldn't stand the original and found this one to be fun and silly - which reminds me of the
Family Channel series that I loved growing up (hey, Rhiannon, how's Phillippe doing?).
Johnny Betts: I have to disagree with you there. I really enjoyed
the first one, and while this sequel isn't quite as good, I still found it to be entertaining. Though I am
puzzled as to how you liked this one but hated the original. I think you intentionally force yourself to think
that way to trick people into thinking you're strangely mysterious.
Ms. Cali: However, there are several historical inaccuracies that detract from the film
for me. Like, California is just now becoming a state - so it's 1849 or 1850 (CA was granted statehood in 1850).
Yet, the women have Victorian hairstyles and Civil War period dresses. Okay, so I'm probably the only dork who
would pay attention to that.
Johnny Betts: Yes, you're definitely a dork. My guess is less than 1%
of the audience will pick up on that. Granted, I jumped up and stormed out of the theater because of how insulted
I was by this gross inaccuracy, but that's probably just me.
Ms. Cali: But there are worse, more glaring errors - like the fact that two Pinkertons
are sent to Los Angeles (okay, I'm not really sure which small town they are set in - it didn't sound like Los
Angeles, but from my memory, the legends about Zorro were based in LA, so I go with that) to make sure there is
no trouble with the statehooding and all that. Except, the Pinkertons didn't start working for the government
until Lincoln was elected president - they were the original Secret Service (didn't do a great job, did they?).
That was a good ten years later. And you can bet I told them that on my test after the screening.
Johnny Betts: OK, I'll admit that I'm a big enough dork to have
picked up on this. Plus, I'll be an even bigger dork and point out my own factual error that I noticed. Nick
Chinlund's bad guy character carries a Henry repeating rifle. He has a cool line where he says something to the
effect of, "If God didn't hurl lightning, he'd surely carry one of these." That's nice and all, but production of
the Henry repeating rifle came after 1850. Come on, filmmakers, you have to know that there are enough fans of the
Old West who'll notice this stuff. I knew watching Wild West Tech would eventually pay off!
Ms. Cali: The other thing that detracted from the movie was how silly they made Toronado
(Zorro's horse). Is it really necessary to go back to clichéd (and overdone) movie devices like making the horse
drink from a bottle of liquor, or smoke a pipe?
Johnny Betts: Yeah, that was a little silly. And of course they had
the horse belch loudly after drinking the liquor. As I rolled my eyes the rest of the audience erupted in
fits of gleeful laughter. For some reason, the cheap laughs are still easy to get. It's all part of the process
of kiddin' this one down.
Ms. Cali: Oh, and can someone tell me why Zorro is going by the name Alejandro de la
Vega? The original Zorro (CZJ's father in the first movie) was Don Diego de la Vega. They wouldn't have the same
last name. Although, it doesn't bug me that much, because I like saying "de la Vega." And (this is mostly for
Rhiannon), wasn't Zorro's father in the Family Channel show named Alejandro? (Not that it should have been here or
anything, but I think it would be cool that they used that name).
Johnny Betts: I can't say that a single one of those thoughts crossed
my mind during the movie, but now that you mention it the question of why he is now going by the last name of "de la
Vega" is a good one. I guess it's proof of how whipped CZJ has him. For those that don't remember, his last name
was "Murrieta" in The Mask of Zorro.
Ms. Cali: Moving on with the review ... Joaquim was waaaaaaaaay too cute for Mr. Cali and
our friend who saw the movie with us. I personally thought he was adorable, and a decent actor for being such a
young child. But he is REALLY cute.
Johnny Betts: I have to say that the kid wasn't nearly as annoying as
I expected him to be. I totally thought he was going to be Jar Jar Binksing it up, but thankfully they didn't
focus on him too heavily. He does get a little too cutesy when he's trying to be tough and issuing "choo want a
piece of me" challenges to the bad guys, but he was surprisingly tolerable.
Ms. Cali: Anyway, I would give this film 3 marks - it's a good summer-esque movie if you
are in the mood for something lighthearted and silly and can suspend your disbelief for a couple hours.
But unless you are a huge Antonio y Banderas or CZJ fan (Johnny), skip it and wait until the DVD.
Johnny Betts: I'm going to go a step above Ms. Cali and give it 3.25
marks. Stephanie liked it even more than I did and said she'd give it between 3.5 and 3.75 marks. However, she
hasn't seen the original and therefore didn't have the opportunity to be a little letdown like I was.
I felt this one ran a little long (you may be thinking the same thing about this review), and there's not enough
story here to justify a runtime of over 2 hours. I'm disappointed that they decided to make this more kid-oriented
than the original, but in doing so why not cut it down to a lean 90 minutes? It would've helped the pacing
tremendously. Oh well.
This is basically a fun, silly Hollywood stunt show. There's a lot of running, jumping, swordfighting, and
unnecessary flips. Seriously, is it really beneficial for Zorro to do an acrobatic flip every time he jumps?
Especially when he's pressed for time! That extra flip actually delays him a little, so when he's trying to save
his son he might want to consider knocking a flip or two out of his routine.
But I don't think we're supposed to dwell on issues such as that. Nor does the director want us to dissect the
fact that the movie has a bad case of right-on-time-itis. Good guys always show up RIGHT ON TIME. Danger is
always avoided RIGHT ON TIME. And on it goes. Like Ms. Cali said, suspend your disbelief at the door and just
accept that this is all about the visual show. Logic isn't really intended to be part of the equation.
Oh, and one other thing - I really do think Banderas and CZJ (yes, she's still quite yummy, and apparently her
bosom has grown) display a good chemistry on screen, but what's with them trying to absolutely eat the other one's
face when kissing? Banderas nearly swallowing CZJ's face may be a little disturbing for younger viewers so keep
that in mind as well.
Ms. Cali: My new title for this film shall be "The Antonio y Banderas, how you say, ah
yes, show." 5 points to anyone who gets that reference.
Johnny Betts: Here's a clue: it has a little something to do with one
of my least favorite actors of all time.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- Josh Brolin was twice offered the role of Capt. Harrison Love (CZJ's fiancé) in The Mask of Zorro
but had to turn it down due to scheduling conflicts. I'm still saddened by that.
- I'll let Ms. Cali handle the Josh Brolin connection. However, I had to add in the Kevin Bacon connection
since she refused to do so.
- Shuler Hensley (I'm using him because he played a character named Pike in Legend of Zorro) was in
Van Helsing (heh ... as Frankenstein's monster) with Richard Roxborough who
was in Moulin Rouge with Ewan McGregor who was in Nightwatch with Josh Brolin who was in
Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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This one is family friendly. There are a couple of mild Primetime (meaning they can appear on primetime TV)
profanities, but that's about it. There is some gunfire and a few explosions, so keep that in mind if you
worry about your kid seeing too much of that kind of stuff. They don't really show anything graphic though.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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I'd say the trailer's an accurate gauge of what to expect.
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THE GIST
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Failing to reach the excitement level of its predecessor, The Legend of Zorro still manages to entertain.
It may run a little long and doesn't bother to treat us with a compelling story, but at least there are enough
stunt spectaculars to make this a watchable matinee or rental.
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