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Movie Review - The Longest Yard (2005)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Peter Segal |
| Starring: |
Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, and James Cromwell |
| Rated: |
PG-13 (for crude and sexual humor, violence, language and drug references) |
| Length: |
114 minutes |
| Genre: |
Comedy |
| Tagline: |
It was hard to put a team together... until they found out who they were playing. |
| Studio: |
Paramount |
| Website: |
The Longest Yard |
| Release: |
May 27, 2005 |
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PLOT
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Paul Crewe (Sandler) is a former NFL MVP quarterback. Ever since he was accused of orchestrating a
point-shaving scandal, he has been forgotten by the sport he loved. Fed up with his girlfriend's overbearing
demands, Crewe gets involved in a drunken car chase which leads to prison which leads to Crewe being
asked to put together a prison football team. Prison football hijinks ensue.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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What exactly is The Longest Yard? Is it merely a movie that follows the adventures of an imprisoned
former NFL quarterback as he assembles a rag tag group of hardened criminals into a football team and then
prepares them to play against a team consisting of the prison guards? Or is it a lesson in breaking the
laws of physics? After all, a yard is a yard, correct? How can any one yard be longer than another? It's
impossible, right? Well, yes, but the movie never addresses the issue. So we'll accept this as a football
comedy.
But is it more than a comedy? Is it a warning about us as a society? Honestly, what is it about our
human nature that causes us to cheer on a football team consisting of convicted murderers and probably
even rapists? Sure, the prison guards are painted in a negative light, but is that reason enough to
root for a group of criminals? Is this Adam Sandlerized social commentary?
No, of course not. But unfortunately, the movie does seem to have a slight identity crisis at times.
Overall, this is a fun, entertaining movie. The action and jokes come at us fast amidst the backdrop
of classic rock. That's all well and good, but I was a little dismayed that things were more dramatic
than I expected. Plus, the third act focused mainly on the football game.
I enjoyed watching the big hits, the dropkicks, and the clotheslines, but it's just one of those things
where once you watch the game and see how it plays out, there's not much incentive to go back and watch it
again. The laughs are sufficient, but the movie simply doesn't measure up to Sandler's best comedies.
My enjoyment also waned a little whenever the movie dipped into "least common denominator" humor territory.
I suppose some people will laugh uproariously at the prisoners who are dressed as women and posing as
cheerleaders. These people are whom I like to refer to as "the easily entertained." But I guess I'm just
one of those guys who doesn't really enjoy looking at men in skimpy outfits grinding against each other.
If the thought of a scantily clad, transvestite Tracy Morgan makes you as sick as it does me, then keep
your trusty yellow bucket handy.
I was also hoping Sandler wouldn't be quite so subdued. He's still funny, but things get a little awkward
when he turns into Mr. Conflicted Emotions and plays the hero. That's nice, Adam, but can't you talk in
a funny voice at least a couple of times? No? Fine. Whatever, Mr. Forget Your Niche.
Oh well, I guess I just come from the Happy Gilmore and The Wedding Singer school of Adam
Sandler comedies, so I was a little disappointed that The Longest Yard wasn't in the
same vein. It's still pretty entertaining, but darn it all, I want to know which yard is the longest, and
I want to see the proof! I still say all yards are the same. That's what sequels are for, I suppose. Man
I'm a dork.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- Two, count 'em - two, Creedence Clearwater Revival songs are used in the movie. Have You Ever Seen
the Rain is well known, but the use of Bootleg is very surprising.
- Some of the familiar faces portraying prisoners and guards include Michael Irvin, Nelly, Bill Goldberg,
Bill Romanowski, Kevin Nash, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Brian Bosworth, and Bob Sapp.
- The funniest part of the movie is when Stone Cold walks across the screen playing air guitar to
Mississippi Queen and states, "This is how a white man plays guitar." It came out of nowhere and
got the biggest "burst" of laughter from Johnny.
- Courtney Cox has a microscopic role that pretty much amounts to a cameo.
- Rob Schneider makes his "You can do it" cameo that is becoming quite common in Adam Sandler
movies.
- Burt Reynolds and Ed Lauter appear in both the original movie and the remake.
- Johnny has never seen the original movie.
- Johnny's mom thinks Burt Reynolds is repulsive, but for some reason she liked Evening Shade.
- Gary Oldman was originally in line to play the prison warden.
- Johnny's never been to prison.
- Dalip Singh is one big dude - about 7'3" and 400+ pounds of muscle.
- Adam Sandler was in Spanglish with Téa Leoni who was in
Flirting with Disaster with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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There's no way this is for children or mama. Profanity is plentiful, including one f-bomb and several
G-d**n's. There's also quite a bit of crude, sexual humor. Oh, and there are some uses of
"the n-word" that some people might find offensive.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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The trailer is fairly indicative of what you're gonna get, but it wasn't as much of a pure comedy as I
was expecting.
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THE GIST
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To be completely honest, The Longest Yard can wait for a DVD rental, especially if you're on the
fence about it. It's not like there are any great special effects that just have to be seen on the big
screen. Entertaining? Yes, but I won't be adding it to my DVD collection. Worth $8+ per person? Nah.
Make it a rental or a matinee.
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