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Movie Review - The Messengers (2007)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Oxide Pang Chun and Danny Pang |
| Starring: |
Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott, Penelope Ann Miller, and John Corbett |
| Rated: |
PG-13 (for mature thematic material, disturbing violence and terror) |
| Length: |
84 minutes |
| Genre: |
Horror/Thriller |
| Tagline: |
There is evidence to suggest that children are highly susceptible to paranormal phenomena.
They see what adults cannot. They believe what adults deny. And they are trying to warn us. |
| Studio: |
Sony Pictures |
| Website: |
The Messengers |
| Release: |
February 2, 2007 |
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PLOT
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A family moves from Chicago to North Dakota into a farmhouse that is haunted by ghosts. The ghosts start going
after the kids, the parents don't believe any of it, an unsurprising twist happens to explain who the ghosts are,
the parents feel bad for doubting the daughter's claim, and that's about it. A ton of jump scenes ensue.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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The Messengers is a prime example of why I think some movies should charge different admission prices.
Not all movies are made the same, so why should moviegoers be forced to pay the same, no matter the film?
Do I pay the same price for a Whopper Jr. that I do for a nice steak? Nope. That'd just be ridiculous, and
nobody would do it, so why do we make an exception at the theater?
The Messengers ain't steak, folks. It's something you get from the value menu, at best. It's a "haunted
house" movie that offers an unoriginal and punchless story, designed specifically to make us jump, the only
thing it really does effectively. If you've seen Boogeyman or
Darkness Falls then you've basically already seen this.
You know the routine - have a little creepy music build to a loud crescendo, go quiet, and then BAM! hit us with
the scare. It's manipulative and cheap, but at least the Pang brothers do it with a little style. The tension
is never suffocating or overly foreboding, but at least it's a little more present than in crap like
When a Stranger Calls. Not that that's saying much. I've had
mad dashes to the bathroom filled with more horror and tension than
Stranger.
I really don't know what else to say. There's nothing memorably bad about the film (except the "I've been
reading the farmer-sutra" line), but there isn't anything memorably great about it either. It's familiar
territory - PG-13 horror that knows how to make teenage girls jump and clutch their boyfriends but has no
idea how to deliver an engaging story or properly pace itself.
If you could go see this for $1 then I'd say sure, go ahead and take your easily-scared girlfriend. But at
$8 a pop? Would you pay $8 for McDonald's "value" Nuggets? I don't think so, and you shouldn't be expected to
pay that kind of money for something this generic and non-nutritional. Money-conscious moviegoers deserve
more incentive than "it's not horrible."
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ODDS & ENDS
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- I think this has one of the longest taglines in history.
- This is the first American feature film and English language debut for directors Danny Pang & Oxide
Pang.
- I'm pretty sure Oxide Pang was my facial cleanser of choice when I was in high school.
- When Dylan McDermott first appeared on screen, the girls behind me were trying to figure out where they
had seen him before. "He was in Miracle!" exclaimed one. "Oh yeah, Miracle," agreed the other.
I chuckled because they obviously had him mistaken for Eddie Cahill, AKA Tag on Friends.
- "She needs to use the Internet. See what's going on," said one of the girls behind me, explaining what
Kristen Stewart's character needed to do about the ghosts that were chasing her.
- The Pangs are probably best known for their Japanese horror film The Eye.
- Quick - what's the difference between Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney? *BUZZ* Time's up. I knew you
wouldn't have an answer.
- To make things even more confusing, Kristen Stewart was in Undertow with Dermot Mulroney.
- Kristen Stewart was in Undertow with Josh Lucas who was in Coastlines with Josh Brolin who was
in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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Other than a couple of "s" bombs, the language is family-friendly. Leave the wee ones at home though because
this probably will be pretty scary for them.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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No big surprises.
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THE GIST
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If you scare easily, and you're desperately in the mood for a movie, any movie, with a dark atmosphere and a
handful of jump scenes and you don't mind a total lack of story, then The Messengers may provide you
with moderate entertainment. Otherwise, save it for a rental or catch it in a few months when it's airing on
TNT or USA.
You know what? That's the exact same gist I used for my Boogeyman review,
validating my comparison of the two.
In fact, feel free to read my Boogeyman review to get an even better idea
of what to expect from this. That says a lot for the film's originality, huh?
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