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Movie Review - Racing Stripes (2005)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Frederik Du Chau |
| Starring: |
Bruce Greenwood, Hayden Panettiere, Wendie Malick, the voices of Frankie Muniz, Mandy Moore, and
others |
| Rated: |
PG (for mild crude humor and some language) |
| Length: |
94 minutes |
| Genre: |
Family/Gay Movie |
| Tagline: |
His stripes made him an outcast. His heart made him a hero. |
| Studio: |
Warner Bros. |
| Website: |
Racing Stripes |
| Release: |
January 14, 2005 |
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PLOT
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An abandoned zebra (annoying voice of Frankie Muniz) grows up believing he is a racehorse. His animal friends (who
can also talk) do nothing but perpetuate the poor zebra's delusion and encourage him to go after his dream of racing
with thoroughbreds. What'll happen when he finds out that he's not actually a racehorse? Will he keep fighting
against impossible odds to achieve his dream? Or will he live out the rest of his days in a petting zoo? Yet
another sap-oozin' movie with talking animals ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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There's a movie principle that states, and I quote, "When it comes to movies that focus on talking animals, there's
a fine line of demarcation separating moviegoers." The fact that I just now created that movie principle doesn't
make it any less true. There just aren't that many people walking that fine line who are thinking, "You know, I've
hated every single talking animal movie I've seen, but maybe Racing Stripes will be THE one to win me over."
It just doesn't happen.
And that's fine. Racing Stripes isn't trying to appeal to everybody. So in all fairness, it'll sit quite
well with its target audience - young children, women (particularly mothers), and anybody who just absolutely can't
get enough cheesy, sappy, follow-your-heart movies.
However, the more testosterone you produce, then the less likely you're gonna enjoy sitting through this. Let this
be a warning to dad - this is one for mama to take the kids to while you search for other options.
To be completely honest, I knew going in that I probably wouldn't care for the movie. I remember watching the
trailer with a stone face, never cracking a smile. I hoped it'd exceed my expectations, but come on, there's only
about a 2% chance that I could possibly like a movie whose poster contains the phrase "Cheer 'til you're horse."
That's just wrong. But hey, I watched the movie; therefore, I'm now exercising my right to poke a little fun at
it. *ahem* *cracks knuckles*
I've always wanted to play a bad guy from time to time. If Tom Cruise can do it, then why can't I? So listen
up, fans of cheesy, cutesy movies, I have to take a position regarding this movie that you most likely won't
agree with. I thought long and hard about this. Spent valuable moments in prayer. Sought the advice of a
trusted mentor. And after putting together all my thoughts and all the words of guidance, I have to decided to
be honest with you and share my position ...
I was rooting for the zebra to lose.
I know, I know. I'm cold-hearted. I have no feelings. This is an assault on the true American spirit that
resides in the hearts of underdogs everywhere. Go ahead; get it out of your system. Scream at your monitor
if you must. There, feel better? Now let me explain.
- The zebra cheats. Plain and simple. During the race, the flies (voiced by David Spade and Steve Harvey)
relay advice and information to him from a horse that helped train him, telling him what he needed to do to win.
Not only that, but they also bite another racehorse, causing him to mess up and fall out of the race. What kind of
message is this sending the kids? If you don't have the talent to compete, then get some friends to help you
cheat? Or did Johnny Cochrane use that line somewhere? Sad.
- The daughter gets away with rebellion. In one scene she's mad at her father for not letting her have her
way all the time, so she gets out of his truck and rides the zebra home. The father tells her not to do it, but
she ignores him and takes off. The consequences of her disobedient actions? She gets what she wants. Great
message there. Where's the discipline?
- This movie does children a great disservice by sending them the message that "you can achieve anything you want
as long as you put your heart into it." That's not really true. If you're a 5'2" white guy who has been practicing
basketball every day for 15 years but still can't shoot or dribble, then guess what? You ain't making the NBA, nor
will you be posting up on Shaq anytime soon. I'm more of a proponent of Clint Eastwood's philosophy – "A man's got
to know his limitations."
- Frankie Muniz is the voice of the zebra, and I can't stand the kid (if you've seen his prima donna posturing
on Punk'd then you know why), and as a rule I always root against Muniz.
"Oh come on, Johnny, you're being way too picky! It's just a movie!" Sorry friends, but I don't think we can
ever be too picky when it comes to the welfare of our children.
Now maybe I'm not being *completely* serious here, but if you really look at the points I'm making, then you'll
realize they're reasonable. Next time you try to discipline your child for disobeying you, and your child calls
you a hypocrite because you giggled at it in Racing Stripes then just remember what I said.
As for how much entertainment value I got from the movie, well, I kept note, and it took a good 45 minutes (when
the flies make their first appearance) for my first laugh to arrive. Actually, there really wasn't much "good"
about those 45 minutes, but I digress. The movie had managed to pry a couple of reluctant smiles from me a couple
of times before that, but that's about it.
Oh, and somebody please tell me, how many fart and poop jokes can one kid's movie have? Sheesh. Is that the only
thing kid's laugh at these days? Racing Stripes seems to think so. That fly just broke wind in that guy's
Espresso! HAHAHAHA! That bird just went poopy on a horse! HAHAHAHA! Look, another animal just ripped one!
GUFFAW! GUFFAW! Goodness.
I will give Racing Stripes credit for being family friendly. This is pretty harmless stuff, so if you
are just a sucker for talking animals then go have a blast. But if you're like me, and your gag reflex strongly
kicks in whenever you hear Bryan Adams start singing about how "It Ain't Over Yet" then this might not be the movie
for you. My main shock is that Enrique Iglesias' Hero wasn't used. It would've fit in perfectly.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- Animals don't talk in real life.
- This is the first time Dustin Hoffman has done voiceover work.
- Two zebras were used to play Stripes as a baby, and eight zebras were used to play Stripes in his adolescence.
- Zebras can get up to a top speed of 28 mph. Racehorses hit speeds up to 37 mph.
- A total of 90 horses were trained to perform in the movie.
- Bruce Greenwood was in Rules of Engagement with Tommy Lee Jones who was in Lonesome Dove with
Robert Duvall who was in Gods and Generals with Stephen Lang who was in Finish Line with Josh Brolin
who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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An overabundance of fart and poop jokes, but other than that it's pretty safe for the whole family.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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Really no surprises here. After watching the trailer I didn't think I'd care for the movie, so in that regard
the trailer is right on target.
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THE GIST
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If you have any testosterone in your body, then you'll want to avoid Racing Stripes at all costs. This one
is strictly for younger kids and females who might actually get choked up over Pax TV shows that star Billy Ray
Cyrus as a mulleted doctor. It's harmless and family safe, but that doesn't make it entertaining for those of
us who have the ability to grow facial hair. Do you think you'll enjoy the movie? If so, then you probably
will. If not, then don't expect to be pleasantly surprised.
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