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Movie Review - The Ring Two (2005)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Hideo Nakata |
| Starring: |
Naomi Watts, Simon Baker, David Dorfman, Elizabeth Perkins, and Gary Cole |
| Rated: |
PG-13 (for violence/terror, disturbing images, thematic elements and some language) |
| Length: |
111 minutes |
| Genre: |
Horror/Thriller |
| Tagline: |
Fear comes full circle. |
| Studio: |
DreamWorks |
| Website: |
The Ring Two |
| Release: |
March 18, 2005 |
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PLOT
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Rachel Keller (Watts) and her son Aidan (Dorfman) move to the small community of Astoria, Oregon in search
of the Goonies. Well, that and to get away from Samara and that haunted little well that served as her
grave for so many years. Working for the town paper, the Daily Astorian, Rachel tunes in to the police
scanner one day and hears about the horrific death of a teenager. There's something about the kid's
warped face and an unmarked video tape that sounds way too familiar.
Rachel soon realizes that Samara is back, and she's more CGI'd up than ever! She's after Aidan, and Rachel
has to find a way to stop her. A disappointing horror movie (sans the horror) ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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"Have you ever seen something so scary you just had to show somebody else?" That's the opening question
that a David Arquette look-alike presents his generic female friend. A question that, unfortunately,
doesn't contain "The Ring Two" in the answer.
It's sad, really, considering how much I enjoyed The Ring. Granted, it isn't exactly "scary" either,
but it's effectively creepy, and the story competently paints a disturbing picture of uneasy tension. The
sequel, on the other hand, seems quite content to rely on the ol' "scare 'em with jump scenes" horror formula,
and thus fails to fill us with any real sense of dread or nervousness.
Putting Samara on display about every 10 minutes doesn't really help much either. In The Ring her
presence was subtle. We didn't really get a good look at her until the end when she crawled out of the TV
screen. But here she's popping up all over the place desperately trying to force moviegoers to jump in their
seats. I kept expecting her to dance across the screen in a top hat and cane singing the Michigan Rag.
It's a cliché, but sometimes less truly is more.
The atmosphere was also hurt by the pacing. Note to directors: there IS a difference between "slow" and
"deliberate." One is suited to good storytelling while the other ultimately leads to boredom. I could've
handled the slow pace if the story had led somewhere other than a dead-end (I refuse to use a "bottomless well"
pun). That's what's so aggravating, I was eagerly anticipating the revelation of Samara's origin, and because
of my desire to find answers, I let the story keep my interest. It's one of those weird situations where you
start to get a little bored, but if your questions are answered then you're more than happy to bless the movie
with your redemption.
Weeeeell, I'm afraid The Ring Two only leaves us with more questions. Come on! WHAT IS SAMARA'S ORIGIN???
IS SHE A DEMON SPAWN?? Heck if I know, the movie doesn't bother to tell us. Instead, it gives us some lame
backstory about how when Samara was a baby she asked her mother (in her sleep) to kill her, you know, to stop
the cycle of violence she somehow knows she'll commit one day. That's nice, but how exactly did she know, as an
infant, that she'd commit great acts of evil? Was she just born evil with no chance at purity? Was her birth
tied to the supernatural somehow? Thanks, scriptwriters, I really appreciate waiting three years to not have
any of the loose ends from the original movie tied up. Way to appease your fans.
At least the acting is strong. Naomi Watts is good as usual, but it is 12-year-old David Dorfman who steals the
show. He's even creepier than Samara. Yet, he portrays his creepiness with such innocence that I couldn't help
but feel sympathetic towards him. Good job, young man, you impressed me more than Haley Joel Osment in The
Sixth Sense. Now let's just hope that puberty's cruel hand is kinder towards you than it was to the young
seer of dead people.
I wanted to like The Ring Two, I really did. It has its moments, and it's not an awful movie, but it's
a disappointment, and I'm afraid that usually leaves a worse taste in my mouth than seeing a bad movie that I
have no expectation of liking. When leaving the theater I overheard one moviegoer say, "Man,
Boogeyman was scarier than that." I can't think of any words to say "You
underachieved" more strongly than that.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- The Ring Two? More like The BORING Two.
Bwahahaha. Thank you, thank you. I apologize for that, but I just felt the need to join all the other critics
out there who can't deny their temptations to use lame puns (COUGHbottomlesswellHACK).
- In case you didn't get my clever little reference, much of The Goonies was filmed in Astoria, Oregon.
It still serves as a pilgrimage for geek fans of the movie.
- Johnny Betts listened to Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers' Honky Tonk Union CD.
- Noam Murro was set to direct but dropped out of the project due to "creative differences" with
Dreamworks. Somehow the world continues to turn.
- You may remember David Dorfman as Jedidiah in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.
- Copies of the "Cursed Tape" were dropped in public places as a form of promotion. After about five
minutes of footage, the viewer is directed to the movie's website. Something else entirely will be dropped on
audiences when this hits the screen, if you know what I'm saying. After five minutes of footage, viewers will
be directing themselves to the exits.
- I highly recommend watching The Ring before even thinking about seeing this.
- As Rachel looks through some old video tapes we see Old School and Road Trip. Is
Hideo Nakata a huge Todd Phillips fan or something? And if so, what in the world?
- Naomi Watts was in 21 Grams with Melissa Leo who was in The Young Riders with Josh
Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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There really isn't much here to offend mama. There's one f-bomb, but not much more profanity other than
that. Sadly, the scares in the movie are so weak that this is pretty safe fare for even my 10-year-old
brother.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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The trailer is effectively creepy. Unfortunately, the movie doesn't live up to it.
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THE GIST
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If you really liked The Ring then this obviously holds some interest for you, but I will be absolutely
shocked if you like this more than the original. If you didn't like The Ring, then there's nothing here
for you. The Ring Two isn't awful, but I'm just surprised at its uninspired mediocrity. It came, I saw,
and it kicked absolutely no part of my body. In fact, Stephanie is the one who had to kick me when my snores
started to get just a little too loud.
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