"Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan  
Movie Review - The Ruins (2008)  

ratings
 
(What this rating means)  
   
Director: Carter Smith
Starring: Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, and Laura Ramsey
Rated: R (for strong violence and gruesome images, language, some sexuality and nudity)
Length: 91 minutes
Genre: Horror/Thriller
Tagline: Terror has evolved.
Studio: Dreamworks
Website: The Ruins
Release: April 4, 2008

PLOT

Four American tourists embark on what is to be a leisurely vacation in Meh-hee-co. That's "Mexico" for those of you who don't speak the foreign vernacular. While enjoying a little "pool time" in Cancun, they meet a German tourist whose brother mysteriously vanished after going on an archaeological dig deep in the jungle. Possessing less common sense than what God gave a mindlessly marching rodent, the group decides an ill-prepared, inadequately-planned trip to some Mayan ruins sounds like a great idea! Of course, evil resides in them there ruins, and folks is about to die! Will more than one character survive??? Not likely. A predictable-yet-wince-inducing horror flick ensues.

JOHNNY'S TAKE

Johnny Betts Gratuitous nudity. "F" bombs. Blood. Blown-off heads. All words that can be adequately applied to last year's Betts family reunion. But they also perfectly summarize what you can expect if you lay your money down and ask for a ticket to The Ruins. Oh, and lest word get back to my mom about this opening statement, let me clarify that I'm just joking about the family reunion. There were no "f" bombs dropped. I wish I was joking about the gratuitous nudity, but once again Uncle Larry's covert sneaking in of his beloved flask led to a most unfortunate streaking incident that everybody in the family is still doing their best to forget.

If you're a horror junkie then The Ruins is a genre entry that offers little in the way of originality. There's no breath of fresh air here. Blood is spilled, people die in a variety of gruesome ways, and the filmmakers spend the majority of their time figuring out the best ways to make audiences flinch and watch through squinted eyes. Even a little kid gets shot at point blank range. If that's all you're looking for, well, you'll be entertained. There's one painful bone-breaking, leg-cutting-off sequence that I had to watch sideways and with furrowed brow. Much like a date with Rosie O'Donnell, it's not pretty, and it'll make you squeamish if you aren't already. Bring the Pepto Bismol. Or, better yet, just go see something else.

Map If I were going to pull out my industrial-sized Nit Picker, the ol' Walmart special, then I'd complain about the severe lack of plot. I'd shake my fist at the heavens for the complete absence of back-story. I'd march to the screenwriter's house and demand an explanation regarding what the vines were and how exactly evil resided within their stems. But I'm not going to do that. You know why? Because that'd make me a loser. However, let me air one grievance. I have a beef with the stupidity of a particular character ... Jena Malone's Amy.

Does anybody have an answer to the question of how stupid this wainch could be??? When the group first arrives at the ruins, they're surrounded by some crazy locals who are deathly afraid of the vines and discount survival as an option for anyone who has come into contact with them. Amy witnesses them blow a dude's head in half, yet what does she do when one of their friends falls down a pit? She rushes down the temple, wanting to beg the psychos to go get help. Uh-huh. They can't speak English, and they just used a live skull for target practice - do you think they're gonna rush to the hospital and summon your salvation? Don't even get me started on the inanity of Amy attempting to touch a flower that's making a nerve-wracking cell phone-esque shrill.

The remainder of the crew aren't exactly Mensa students either. As they're lowering the German into the pit, the rope snaps in half, with the end result being a sickening thud beyond the impenetrable darkness. Their reaction? "Let's send someone else down there!" Sorry, but I'd say, "Um, did you not just see the rope break? Dude's probably down there with a broken back. I think I'll wait things out up here, but thanks."

If you're in the mood for a tense, psychological horror that utilizes story, character, and situation to fill you with dread then your best bet is to go look for a rental. The Ruins is strictly for those who love bloodfests, no matter how predictable or contrived. It's pretty intense, and it'll make you cringe, but it won't send you home smiling, content that this was money well spent. Unless watching a girl flay herself classifies as a "wise investment" in your book.

ODDS & ENDS

  • Based on the novel by Scott Smith.


  • Jonathan Tucker was in In the Valley of Elah with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
MAMA'S APPROVAL

No way. "F" bombs, brief nudity, a kid being shot, skin being sliced open, bones being broken with rocks, etc. are all little nuggets of joy you have to look forward to.

TRAILER COMPARISON

No big surprises here.

THE GIST

If you're in the mood for a tense, psychological horror that utilizes story, character, and situation to fill you with dread then your best bet is to go look for a rental. The Ruins is strictly for those who love bloodfests, no matter how predictable or contrived. It's pretty intense, and it'll make you cringe, but it won't send you home smiling, content that this was money well spent. Unless watching a girl flay herself classifies as a "wise investment" in your book.

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