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Movie Review - Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Michael Davis |
| Starring: |
Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Monica Bellucci |
| Rated: |
R (for pervasive strong bloody violence, sexuality, and language) |
| Length: |
80 minutes |
| Genre: |
Action/Adventure/Comedy |
| Tagline: |
Just another family man making a living. |
| Studio: |
New Line Cinema |
| Website: |
Shoot 'Em Up |
| Release: |
September 7, 2007 |
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PLOT
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Clive Owen stars as Mr. Smith, a mysterious loner who dresses like a bum but obviously has some sort of suspicious, well-trained past. He teams up with the quickly
aging Monica Bellucci to protect a newborn baby from Paul Giamatti. Why? Well, it seems that babies are being bred specifically to be used as bone marrow donors.
Giamatti has reason to keep those donations from being made. An attempt at spoofing the action genre ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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If you're looking for a movie with a blatantly obvious line of demarcation then search no further than Shoot 'Em Up. I observed one old man hobbling out
of the screening, and when asked his opinion, he grimaced, gruffly replied, "TERRIBLE!" and continued to walk (relatively speaking) along his merry way. Then I
witnessed four young chaps, all in their late teens I'd presume, who had difficulty forming complete sentences but still made it clear that they thought it was
perhaps the "awesomest" movie of all time.
Yep, it's another love-it-or-hate-it affair, mi amigos. The music is loud, the bullets are fast, the action is gratuitously over-the-top, and the one-liners are
intentionally cheesy but still ridiculously lame. Come on, Clive Owen shoves a carrot through a dude's neck and then deadpans, "Eat your vegetables." I know
we're not supposed to take such lines seriously, but I didn't appreciate their delivery. There wasn't enough conviction to induce the intended laughter. I
merely responded with a shake of the head and a roll of the eye.
This really isn't something I should have to verbalize, but don't even think about seeing this film if you're expecting anything along the lines of a cohesive plot
or credible acting. One guy at the screening complained that the dialogue wasn't very strong and the screenplay wasn't tight enough. Yeah, that's what they were
going for here, an airtight script. Come on, people, you simply have to be in on the joke when you walk into the theater or you'll get absolutely nothing out of
the movie. Just watch the stinkin' trailer!
But here's the problem - I knew exactly what to expect, yet I don't feel that it accomplished what it wanted to achieve. At least not to this distinguished,
hyper-intelligent moviegoer. Perhaps some of you will laugh at a dirty diaper smeared in a guy's face, but I was too busy being disgusted to offer up a Pavlovian
laugh. Probably the lamest part of the film is its half-baked attempts at socio-political commentary. Don't you just love it when a movie saturates the screen
with copious amounts of exploitative and gratuitous gun violence and then throws in an, "Oh yeah, guns are really evil and should be outlawed," message?
Don't use guns, kids, unless you can capitalize on 'em.
And what was with the random anti-spanking commentary? A mother is scolding her child, tells him not to make her spank him, and then barely pops him on the leg.
I hit myself harder when I'm killing mosquitoes. But Clive Owen marches over there like he's Michael Moore clearing a path to the doughnut table, accosts her,
tells her how wrong spanking is, and then begins to spank her to show her what it's like.
Sorry, Hollywood, but there's nothing wrong with a firm pop on the hand or legs to get a child's attention. If Paris Hilton were spanked once or twice (I mean when
she was a child, not as an adult) then perhaps she wouldn't be the spoiled brat that she is today.
Anyway, you know what to expect now, so I don't want to hear any complaints. There are definitely moments of entertainment scattered throughout. Shoot
'Em Up delivers five or six action scenes that, while indeed silly and outlandish, are quite imaginative and creative. They're worth watching. Worth
big screen dollars? Nope. Despite its marginal entertainment value, Shoot 'Em Up is just a little too ridiculous at times, and delivers more amoral
gratuitousness than I dare recommend to anyone. I'm not overly thrilled that I endured a 40-minute round trip to see it, so I certainly don't advise you to
hop in the car, make a trek, and lay down that allowance money. That's why we have DVDs and TBS.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- The studio didn't have press notes available at review time. Therefore, I have no desire to make up odds and ends.
- Clive Owen was in Inside Man with Denzel Washington who is in American Gangster with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow
Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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Uh, no. Just no. This ain't for mama, grandmama, the kids, or Sunday School.
"Pervasive strong bloody violence" - In spades. There's blood and massive gun violence galore. Sure, it's so over-the-top that you're quickly desensitized,
but it's laid on very thick.
"Sexuality" - Women in thongs, Clive Owen and Monica Bellucci having sex during a gunfight, an extended scene at some sort of brothel, yep, I'd say they went
the gratuitous route here.
"Language" - What do you think? "F" bombs are flying almost as quickly as the bullets.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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The trailer makes it pretty obvious that the movie is going to be ridiculously over-the-top. If you're turned off by the 2+ minutes of the trailer then you'll
definitely wanna skip this one. Strangely, the movie doesn't deliver quite the amount of action that the trailer indicates.
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THE GIST
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Shoot 'Em Up bills itself as a spoof of the action genre and proceeds to fill the screen with over-the-top gunfights, gore galore, and enough lame one-liners
to impress a Sci Fi Original screenwriter. That is either your cup o' joe, or it's not. There are moments of entertainment, but it wasn't quite the mindless fun I
was expecting. I'd recommend waiting.
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