"Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan  
Movie Review - The Girl Next Door  

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Director: Luke Greenfield
Starring: Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, and Timothy Olyphant
Rated: R (strong sexual content, language and some drug/alcohol use)
Length: 110 minutes
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Website: The Girl Next Door

PLOT

Matthew (Hirsch) is an ambitious high school senior with a bright future. He knows exactly where he wants his life to go ... until the beautiful Danielle (Cuthbert) moves in next door to housesit for her aunt. Things are really shaken up when Matthew finds out Danielle used to be a porn star. Is she worth risking everything he's worked for? Plenty of uncomfortable hijinks ensue.

JOHNNY'S TAKE

Johnny Betts *Throws my arms up* I don't really know what to say. I know that will shock a lot of people, especially anyone that knows me, but it's true. Well, I do know a few things to say, so I'll give it a shot. This had the potential to be a good movie, but the subject matter is just too uncomfortable for me. The movie has its funny moments, and the actors mostly do a credible job, but I can't throw my support behind a movie that chooses to turn the porn industry into a great, big, huggable teddy bear.

In a nut shell, Matthew falls for Danielle, Matthew's friend realizes Danielle used to be a porn star, Danielle's old manager, Kelly (Timothy Olyphant), decides he wants her to get back in the porn industry, Matthew wants to keep her out of it, trouble ensues, and Matthew must decide which is more important - Danielle or his future. You know, basically the same thing that has happened to at least one person we know.

Kevin Arnold Emile Hirsch ("The Emperor's Club") does a good job, but man, he's totally channeling Kevin Arnold! WHERE'S PAUL PFEIFFER WHEN YOU NEED HIM???? And Elisha Cuthbert looks mighty fine, but I don't know if I completely bought into their relationship. I was surprised when I found out they were supposed to be the same age in the movie. In real life she's three years older than he is, and she looks even older than that in the movie. But the scene-stealer in this movie is Timothy Olyphant. At times he seems like a good guy with a good heart, and then he turns around and makes you think, "Whoa, what a psycho." Granted, I'm sure many people have felt the same way about their relatives, but this guy is an extreme case.

My main problem is "The Girl Next Door" is clearly marketing itself as a teen movie (just watch any of the recent commercials), yet it seems to send a message that hey, a little pornography might just be a worthy after-high-school business plan! "You're a straight-A student, but you don't have the money to go to Georgetown? Noooooo problem, hook up with a porn star, film a porn flick in your school library, and make tons of money!" Am I the only one who finds that to be an inappropriate message? I hope not. I sure know Jack Arnold wouldn't have stood for this!

MAMA'S APPROVAL

*I* don't approve, so you better believe mama wouldn't approve! Profanity is strong with about 50 "f" words, and the sexual content is even stronger. Nudity and sexual jokes abound. There are more than just a couple of very uncomfortable scenes. If you see the movie, then you might just choose to take a shower afterwards.

TRAILER COMPARISON

The trailer does indicate that there will be some amount of sexual content, but it doesn't adequately prepare you for just how much.

THE GIST

Why use your intelligence or hard work to solve a problem when you can fall back on the old "sex sells" adage, "The Girl Next Door" asks. Well, why spend your hard-earned money on this movie and prove them right, is what I ask. And don't call me a prude. We're talking about a movie that wants its intended teen audience to think that the porn industry offers some viable after-school career options. It doesn't take a preacher or an episode of "7th Heaven" to realize that message is a bit problematic.

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