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Movie Review - The Girl Next Door
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Luke Greenfield |
| Starring: |
Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, and Timothy Olyphant |
| Rated: |
R (strong sexual content, language and some drug/alcohol use) |
| Length: |
110 minutes |
| Genre: |
Romantic Comedy |
| Website: |
The Girl Next Door |
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PLOT
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Matthew (Hirsch) is an ambitious high school senior with a bright future. He knows exactly where he
wants his life to go ... until the beautiful Danielle (Cuthbert) moves in next door to housesit for
her aunt. Things are really shaken up when Matthew finds out Danielle used to be a porn star. Is she
worth risking everything he's worked for? Plenty of uncomfortable hijinks ensue.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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*Throws my arms up* I don't really know what to say. I know that will shock a lot of people, especially
anyone that knows me, but it's true. Well, I do know a few things to say, so I'll give it a shot. This
had the potential to be a good movie, but the subject matter is just too uncomfortable for me. The movie
has its funny moments, and the actors mostly do a credible job, but I can't throw my support behind a movie
that chooses to turn the porn industry into a great, big, huggable teddy bear.
In a nut shell, Matthew falls for Danielle, Matthew's friend realizes Danielle used to be a porn star,
Danielle's old manager, Kelly (Timothy Olyphant), decides he wants her to get back in the porn
industry, Matthew wants to keep her out of it, trouble ensues, and Matthew must decide which is more
important - Danielle or his future. You know, basically the same thing that has happened to at least
one person we know.
Emile Hirsch ("The Emperor's Club") does a good job, but man, he's totally channeling Kevin Arnold!
WHERE'S PAUL PFEIFFER WHEN YOU NEED HIM???? And Elisha Cuthbert looks mighty fine, but I don't
know if I completely bought into their relationship. I was surprised when I found out they were
supposed to be the same age in the movie. In real life she's three years older than he is, and she looks
even older than that in the movie. But the scene-stealer in this movie is Timothy Olyphant. At times
he seems like a good guy with a good heart, and then he turns around and makes you think, "Whoa, what a
psycho." Granted, I'm sure many people have felt the same way about their relatives, but this guy is
an extreme case.
My main problem is "The Girl Next Door" is clearly marketing itself as a teen movie (just watch
any of the recent commercials), yet it seems to send a message that hey, a little pornography
might just be a worthy after-high-school business plan! "You're a straight-A student, but you don't have
the money to go to Georgetown? Noooooo problem, hook up with a porn star, film a porn flick in
your school library, and make tons of money!" Am I the only one who finds that to be an inappropriate
message? I hope not. I sure know Jack Arnold wouldn't have stood for this!
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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*I* don't approve, so you better believe mama wouldn't approve! Profanity is strong with about 50 "f" words,
and the sexual content is even stronger. Nudity and sexual jokes abound. There are more than just a couple
of very uncomfortable scenes. If you see the movie, then you might just choose to take a shower afterwards.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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The trailer does indicate that there will be some amount of sexual content, but it doesn't adequately
prepare you for just how much.
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THE GIST
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Why use your intelligence or hard work to solve a problem when you can fall back on the old "sex sells"
adage, "The Girl Next Door" asks. Well, why spend your hard-earned money on this movie and prove them
right, is what I ask. And don't call me a prude. We're talking about a movie that wants its intended
teen audience to think that the porn industry offers some viable after-school career options. It doesn't
take a preacher or an episode of "7th Heaven" to realize that message is a bit problematic.
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