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	Movie Review - The Grudge (2004)     (What this rating means)       Director: Takashi Shimizu Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jason Behr, and Bill Pullman Rated: PG-13 (for scary stuff) Length: 96 minutes Genre: Horror/Thriller Tagline: It never forgives. It never forgets. Studio: Sony Pictures Website: The Grudge PLOT Basically, this is a haunted house movie. Something horrible happened in the house, and the ghosts of the tragedy have haunted its inhabitants ever since. The most recent occupant (Johnny wisely uses a thesaurus and avoids multiple uses of "inhabitant") of the house is Susan's mom from Seinfeld. If you'll recall, Susan was George's fiancee who died after licking cheap wedding invitation envelopes. Susan's mom apparently never got over the death and is now in need of constant care. After the current caretaker goes missing, Sarah Michelle Gellar is called in to watch over the old bag. Gellar is going to school in Japan now, presumably as some sort of nursing student or wannabe social worker. IMDb claims she's a nurse, but I don't recall the movie ever actually saying that. Seems sketchy to me. Gellar followed her boyfriend (Jason Behr from Roswell) there. Was it a wise and dedicated act of pure love, or was it a decision that will haunt Gellar for the rest of her life? A creepy atmosphere and loads of "jump scenes" ensue. JOHNNY'S TAKE According to The Grudge, there's a Japanese belief that when someone dies in a powerful grip of rage, then a curse is left behind. It's a "stain" that forever becomes a part of the place where the death occurred, and it will kill everything it touches. All I can say is if that were true then the moviegoing public better hope I never die in a theater. The audience at this movie was probably the most obnoxious crowd I've ever had the displeasure of watching a movie with. Talk about being in a powerful grip of rage. More on that later. Jump scenes rule the day here. That's right, this baby is stocked with jump scenes! If you're having a hard time deciphering my complicated terminology, then let me explain that a "jump scene" is one in which something startling happens to catch you off guard and makes you jump in your seat. Some people think jump scenes are cheap ploys to get a scare from the audience, but they're really well done in this movie. And they're manufactured frequently and shrewdly enough to keep you in a constant state of unease. Unfortunately, when most moviegoers get scared they like to scream and then laugh and talk about it for 2 minutes afterwards. If you're gonna scream then scream. But then SHUT UP and WATCH THE MOVIE! This ain't a comedy and it certainly isn't a coffeehouse, so quit killin' my atmosphere. Some of you might be a little agitated to know that The Grudge does follow some cliched horror movie conventions, such as a character investigating a creepy noise in a dark attic with only a cigarette lighter to illuminate the way. And of course, one character has to slowly follow a strange figure that shouldn't be there in the first place. But it's forgivable. Keep in mind, characters aren't necessarily supposed to know they're in a horror movie. I'm sure we've all explored strange noises before, except rather than a horrific, disfigured ghost producing the noise, in real life the sound is usually coming from Uncle Larry's bathroom excursion. Never underestimate the horror of a night out at the Taco Bell. Comparisons to The Ring are inevitable, so I'll just say that I personally feel The Grudge is the creepier of the two. This is a movie that's heavy on atmosphere and freaky imagery. The Japanese ghosts creeped me out even more than the time I caught some pervert staring at me in the men's bathroom stall back in my college days. Lucky for him, he took off before I had a chance to demonstrate what happens when a person is caught in a powerful grip of rage. But The Ring has the better story and a much better ending. The Grudge does a great job of keeping you guessing. You never really know where it's going, and since the story isn't linear you really have to pay attention. I know a lot of you have the attention span of a goldfish (about 9 seconds, you just learned something today, thank me later), so this may be problematic. I think it works fairly well, but one of my complaints is that near the end everything is wrapped up and explained rather quickly. As a result, I wish the movie had been longer. A longer running time could've produced more in-depth character development, a more clever way to explain what was going on, and maybe even a better ending. And there's my biggest complaint. Why do so many horror movies feel the need to use the I Know What You Did Last Summer-esque "look, there's gonna be a sequel" ending? Come on, how about some closure? It's similar to if you're waiting for me to close out my review in a witty and funny fashion, but instead, for some reason I just decide to end the review in mid sent... ODDS & ENDS A remake of the Japanese movie Ju-on. This is the first American remake of a Japanese horror movie to use the original film's Japanese director. Takako Fuji and Yuya Ozeki were the main ghosts in Ju-on, and they reprise their roles here. Filmed in Tokyo, Japan. KaDee Strickland, who plays Susan Williams, was the Southern cutie in Anacondas, but she spoke with no hint of a Southern accent in this movie. Where'd it go? FAKER! All right, this will take a little more work, and it will make things a little more convoluted, but all my connections are going to be related to horror movies. Man, I'm so unique. Sarah Michelle Gellar was in Scream 2 with Neve Campbell who was in Scream with Matthew Lillard who was in 13 Ghosts with F. Murray Abraham who was in Mimic with Josh Brolin who was in The Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon. MAMA'S APPROVAL Wow, a horror movie even my mom wouldn't be offended to sit through! There is no profanity or nudity. If your child scares easily, then it'd be better to leave him at home, but otherwise the scares don't rely on blood and gore or pictures of Rosie O'Donnell topless. TRAILER COMPARISON The trailer gives a good indication of what to expect, and refreshingly it doesn't give away more information than it should. THE GIST If you're looking for some Halloween entertainment, then The Grudge will give you some good jumps and surround you with creepy imagery. But I strongly recommend that you see it at a time when there won't be a big crowd because I know I would've enjoyed the movie a lot more had I not been surrounded by a lot of stand-up comedians who felt the need to crack jokes at the most tense and inopportune times. Folks, this is a horror movie. Tension and atmosphere are a big part of it, so please keep your laughing and talking to a minimum. I look forward to watching the DVD in peace and quiet one day where the only idiots I'll possibly be surrounded by will be friends and family.	RETURN TO HOME PAGE Ghouls Eagle Eye Righteous Kill Tropic Thunder Traitor Death Race Star Wars: Clone Wars The Dark Knight Journey to the Center of the Earth Hancock Weekend Results: 1. Beverly Hills Chihuahua($29,300,465) 2. Eagle Eye($17,709,817) 3. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist($11,311,751) 4. Nights in Rodanthe($7,368,259) 5. Appaloosa($5,050,310)

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