|
Movie Review - The Prince and Me
|
|
|
|
|
(What this rating means)
|
|
| |
|
| Director: |
Martha Coolidge |
| Starring: |
Julia Stiles and Luke Mably |
| Rated: |
PG (some sex-related material and language) |
| Length: |
111 minutes |
| Genre: |
Romantic Comedy |
| Website: |
The Prince and Me |
|
PLOT
|
A pre-med student (Stiles) falls in love with who she believes is an exchange student (Mably). Just like
so many real-life college girls, she soon finds out that the man she's dating is actually a Danish prince, and
he wants her to be his future queen. Unbelievable and intellectually insulting hijinks ensue.
|
|
JOHNNY'S TAKE
|
This is exactly the kind of movie I love ... TO MAKE FUN OF! Talk about a chore to sit through. I know I'm
gonna upset some people with this, but the best way to describe this movie is if a big, fat gorilla walked up
to the front of the theater and took a crap on the screen, then out would come "The Prince and Me." Some
other words to describe it may include "contender," "worst," "movie," "year," "the," and "of."
I will admit, I'm not exactly the target audience for this movie, but hey, I saw it, so I will comment on
it. It took nearly two hours of my life from me, so I'll give a little something back. The movie starts
off slowly enough with some lullaby music that nearly causes me to fall asleep. Things then shift into
first gear as we're treated to the most boring, unexciting 30 mph car race I think I've ever seen. Wow, look
at the rebellious prince and his street racing! I'm telling you, folks, after watching that car race I was
soooo tempted to head out to my truck, put my pedal to the metal, and then stop immediately once I reached
30 mph. From there I'd slip into cruise control and just glide. Keep this in mind if you see the movie.
Afterwards, you don't want to be so pumped up that you hop in the car and drive under the speed limit and
get a ticket.
It doesn't get any better from there, especially in regard to the story. Determined, round-faced pre-med student
is a hard worker. Rebellious Danish prince wants excitement in his life, moves to America, and is somehow
immediately admitted into college. Round-face and princey meet, don't initially get along, eventually fall
in love, get mad at each other, and then fall in love again. Gag, dry heave, get some Tums.
One of the worst parts of the movie comes when the prince finally reveals his true identity. You see, he
was trying to keep his cover, and he wanted to be accepted for who he is, not what he is, but when his cover is
nearly blown by the paparazzi, he decides to confess everything to Julia Stiles. After all, he loves her and
wants to be honest with her. Her response? Instead of hearing him out and discussing the situation like an adult,
she yells at him and runs away. "YOU LIED TO ME! WAAAAAH! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LIAR!" Give. Me. A. Break.
Yeah, that's believable.
I have to comment on another horrible scene. By the time we get near the end of the movie, credibility
has already been stretched tighter than Joan Rivers' face. I guess "The Prince and Me" felt there was no sense
in going back now, and decided to eliminate any remaining semblance of integrity. After Julia Round Face throws
a hissy, Prince "I have an accent so I must be charming" Edward heads back to Denmark. Julia is in class
talking about Othello and starts having a bunch of corny flashbacks of her and the prince smooching and acting
giddy. As she starts realizing how great the prince is, she starts talking through it out loud, right in front
of her teachers. By the time she's done, she realizes she loves the prince and must go find him, the teachers
are crying, and I'm herniating my stomach due to my massive vomiting (sorry Mr. Shade, I hope you got that
stain out).
Wait, that's not the worst part. Her friends pitch in and buy her a plane ticket to Denmark. They all squeal
and off she goes. Julia strolls up to some sort of rally where Prince Edward rides by on his horse. Julia
yells at him, but alas, he doesn't hear her. No fear, apparently every single Danish person reads American
tabloids and recognizes Julia as the girl Edward was dating while he was in America. EVERYBODY starts chanting
her name. This causes Edward to turn around and notice Julia. He rides over, picks her up, and they ride off
on his horse. I thought for a second that this scene tugged at one of my heartstrings, but then I realized it
was just heartburn. One too many pieces of pizza.
We're then supposed to believe that he'd ask her to be his queen, she'd accept, and her American values would
start to reshape the entire way business in Denmark is done. Of course, there's the requisite "I don't think
I can do this" personal reflection by Julia, followed by a fairly predictable conclusion, followed by my
sprint to the bathroom.
I could pretty much rip on every scene in the movie, but this review would start running a tad on the long side.
Let me just say it was just one embarrassing scene after another, one lame joke after another, and a constant
barrage on one's intelligence. A Danish prince talking in Ebonics? Not funny. Julia Stiles making her stuffed
moose talk in a silly voice? Hardy har. Prince Edward opening his hand and a CGI butterfly fluttering away
to reveal an engagement ring? Gay.
Not only is this possibly the gayest movie I've ever seen at the theaters, it's also just plain boring.
It runs close to two hours, but I could've sworn it was closer to four. We were treated to long stretches
of Julia and the prince staring at each other and playing with each other's hands. I guess that was supposed
to be romantic, but all I could do was hold an imaginary remote at the screen and act like I was pushing
fast forward.
And maybe it's just a personal thing, but I failed to conjure up any interest in the stupid lawnmower-racing scene.
You read that right, there's about a 10-minute scene dedicated to lawnmower racing. LAWNMOWER RACING!!!!!!
The two leads didn't do much for me either. There's something about Julia Stiles that I don't care for. I
don't know exactly what it is. She's not ugly, and I'll admit, she knows how to wear a pair of jeans, but
there's something about her that bugs me. It might be a combination of her deep voice and Stephanie's
insistence that she looks like Leonardo DiCaprio. And Luke Mably as Prince Edward? *shrugs shoulders*
Whatever. Just a Hayden Christensen wannabe with an accent.
Keep in mind, there are several romantic comedies I've seen recently that I've really enjoyed - "Sweet Home
Alabama," "How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days," and "Jersey Girl" just to name a few.
Even "Chasing Liberty" (whose plot is not-so-subtlely borrowed here), which is
not a great movie, is MUCH better than this. That should tell you something.
There *is* an audience for movies like this, but it ain't me. Several women and teenagers at the
screening loved the stupid thing. There were a lot of gasps and awws throughout the movie. I don't understand
it, but so be it. If that's what some ladies like, then they're welcome to enjoy it all they want.
But if you're a guy and you find yourself enjoying this movie, then please, head to the doctor's office
and get a testosterone shot QUICK! NOW! QUIT READING AND GO! After the testosterone injection, I recommend at
least 6 straight hours of Clint Eastwood Westerns. "Dirty Harry" will also suffice. Just please hurry before
it's too late.
|
|
MAMA'S APPROVAL
|
Pretty harmless stuff for the most part. Due to some of the sexual content, I'm surprised it got a PG rating
though. Nothing explicit is shown, but there's one scene where the prince is watching a Girl's Gone Wild
commercial and we see girls pulling their tops up (it's blurred out, of course). A few other sexual jokes
make this borderline PG.
|
|
TRAILER COMPARISON
|
I'll be honest, I can barely sit through the trailer without my gag reflex shifting into overdrive, so if you
watch the trailer, clap, and yell out, "Yay for Prince and Me! I wanna see that movie! Yippee!" then
you might like it. But I think the trailer is cheesy, and the movie is worse than I expected.
|
|
THE GIST
|
"The Prince and Me" is the type of lame, fairy tale movie that I just can't stomach. Instead of portraying
itself as a "fantasy," it's a movie that takes itself seriously and expects the audience to do so as well.
Females who love lame, cheesy fairy tales that are far less believable than
"Chasing Liberty" might enjoy this, but ladies, please don't drag your fellas
along. This is solely a "chick flick," and there's really nothing for your man to enjoy here. I warn you, if
you force him to go, you'll hear about it for a LONG time, and you will owe him. You will owe him BIG.
|
|
