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Movie Review - Tristan & Isolde (2006)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Kevin Reynolds |
| Starring: |
James Franco, Sophia Myles, and Rufus Sewell |
| Rated: |
PG-13 for intense battle sequences and some sexuality |
| Length: |
125 minutes |
| Genre: |
Drama/Romance/Epic |
| Tagline: |
Before Romeo & Juliet, there was... |
| Studio: |
20th Century Fox |
| Website: |
Tristan & Isolde |
| Release: |
January 13, 2006 |
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PLOT
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Things are tough for Tristan (Franco), the young English warrior, and Isolde (Myles), the fetching Irish princess.
Their countries are at war, so a romance is completely off-limits. But when Isolde finds Tristan's body washed up
on the Irish shore, she nurses him back to health and a bond is formed. Short-lived, though it may be.
One day the Irish King offers his daughter Isolde as a prize in a tournament. Not knowing his love's real name,
Tristan unwittingly wins Isolde's hand in marriage ... for Lord Marke, the man who raised Tristan after the young
lad's parents were murdered during an Irish raid. A drunken raid, no doubt.
Tristan and Isolde must find a way to suppress their love, but it doesn't take a Bachelor's degree in Arts and
Literature to know that denying their true feelings will only make them grow stronger. Will the young couple
risk their lives and a treaty between their countries in order to feed their passion? Or will Tristan's lifelong
loyalty to Lord Marke prevail? James Franco's curly hair ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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"So Johnny, I hear tell that you saw Tristan & Isolde. Should I go see it?"
I don't know. It's not my job to get people to go see Tristan & Isolde so that 20th Century Fox's pockets
can be lined with a little more cash. Perhaps if they were to send me an email or give me a phone call and the
price were right then I'd be willing to shill some of their products. Except for Big Momma's House 2.
Unless they set up a meeting with Emily Procter. Then I'd be good to go. But they'd need to change the title
to the correct spelling of "mama."
"Yeah, but you saw the movie, and your reviews are infinitely more insightful and useful than
the average movie critic in helping moviegoers decide what movie is worth paying $8 a pop to go see!"
This is true, astute reader, but there simply aren't many movies worth paying full price to watch on the big
screen. You can pick up the DVD for about the same price that it'd cost you and your significant other to see it
at the theater. I enjoyed Tristan & Isolde, but I can tell you right now that it's not for everybody.
There are a few slowly-paced scenes of romance that will start to annoy those with little patience (i.e. guys who
aren't big on mushy scenes of poetry reading). However, the movie is mindful of the fact that the audience will
partly consist of guys forced by their girls to watch it, so it mixes in some medieval sword fighting action to
keep us manly men happy. You'll be able to walk out of the theater with enough testosterone intact that you can
still brag about how much machismo your beard, mustache, or goatee possesses.
"What in the world are you talking about?"
I don't know, man. It's 1:00 AM, what do you expect?
"OK, so who exactly would you recommend this to?"
It'll appeal to anybody who is a fan of epic romances. I like most anything set during the
Arthurian time period, plus I've liked James Franco since his Freaks and Geeks days, so there was a lot
here to keep my interest. The cinematography is as eye-pleasing as you'd expect it to be, considering it's
set against the backdrop of medieval England and Ireland. If nothing else, the background will engage your attention
seeing how there's never a shortage of impressive visuals. Some would call the scenery "beautiful" or "gorgeous"
or maybe even "breath-taking." I, on the other hand, find those descriptions to be a little gay. Therefore,
this is my clever method of using such terms without actually using them, you know what I mean? I'm a genius
like that.
"Your modesty is impressive, Johnny. So is the story fairly straight-forward, or does it force
the viewer to think?"
Think about what? How much cooler James Franco would've been as Spider-Man than uber dork Tobey Maguire?
This isn't exactly brain aerobics, but the movie will cause you to ask some serious questions as you head
home, such as how did Tristan find a hairdresser to attend so elegantly to his flowing locks?
Tristan & Isolde isn't a movie that escorted me out of the theater full of joy and excitement; intent
on recommending it to everyone I come across, but it did a good enough job of balancing action and romance to
make for a pleasant evening at the movies.
"All right Johnny, so would you recommend seeing it at the theater?"
At today's prices? No. It's not worth the $16 it'd take to treat Stephanie to an exciting
night at the movies, but it will make a nice rental. Don't expect a movie anywhere near the level of something
like Braveheart or you'll walk away disappointed. It's more along the lines of
Kingdom of Heaven with more romance and less boredom. Of the two, I
enjoyed Tristan & Isolde more. Of course, a lot of that has to do with the fact that James Franco is a
much better, much more compelling actor than Orlando "Chicken Lips" Bloom. Plus, his hair is cooler.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- The mythical Celtic tale of Tristan and Isolde was one of the most influential romances in the medieval period.
It predates the romances of Lancelot and Guinevere and Romeo and Juliet.
- Originally, Tristan had nothing to do with the King Arthur legend, but in one of his tales he eventually
joined Arthur's Round Table.
- The legend is the subject of Richard Wagner's opera Tristan und Isolde.
- Although the tale of Tristan and Isolde is a myth, there is evidence that some of the people and places
are historical. Finding out what exactly about the myth is historical would take way more effort than Johnny
is willing to expend.
- Ridley Scott was originally going to direct this in the late '70s, but he decided to direct Alien
instead.
- Ridley and his brother Scott served as executive producers.
- If you aren't familiar with James Franco's work as Daniel Desario on Freaks and Geeks then you need
to go ahead and pick up the excellent DVD set.
- Franco won the Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for
Television for his portrayal of James Dean in the aptly-titled James Dean.
- You may remember Sophia Myles as the hot little blonde vampire Erika in Underworld.
- Director Reynolds also directed Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and The Count of Monte Cristo.
- Johnny's sister mistakenly referred to the movie as Tristan and Isolate, prompting much laughter and
mockery from Johnny.
- James Franco was in Never Been Kissed with David Arquette who was in The Road Killers with Josh
Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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There's not a whole lot of material here that would meet mama's disapproval. There are a couple of scenes of
fornication that would cause a major amount of awkward silence if mama watched this with any of her children,
but there's no nudity. No profanity either. The sometimes slow pace and romance elements make this best suited
for those 13 and older.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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Feel free to use the trailer as an accurate guide.
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THE GIST
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Tristan & Isolde is indeed a romance, but it's smart enough to provide enough fighting and "kingdom vs.
kingdom" story to keep the more masculine of us happy. Save yourself a few bucks and make it a rental.
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