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It's 1200 BC. The Trojans are partying it up with the Spartans. Trojan prince Paris (Bloom) is especially
partying it up with the Spartan queen, Helen (Kruger). Paris decides to take Helen back to Troy, and Spartan
king Menelaus is none-too-pleased. Menelaus' brother Agamemnon (Cox), the Mycenaean King, cannot allow his
brother to be insulted in this way and vows to get Helen back. In truth he sees this as a great opportunity
to conquer Troy and get control of the Aegean sea. Troy's Prince Hector (Bana) must lead his warriors in the
attack by the Spartans, who have an ace up their sleeve that goes by the name of Achilles (Pitt). Epic battles
of men (and Orlando Bloom) fighting in skirts ensue.
First of all let me thank Johnny for the opportunity to take over the reviewing reins for "Troy." Not only
did poor Johnny have to leave early because of his softball game, he also was not able to sit with me and
Mr. & Mrs. Shade because people seem to be severe "Troy" marks and got to the theater very early, leaving
the seating choices limited. We were in the next to the last row, and Johnny was in the front row. To
make matters worse, I left Johnny there all alone as I enjoyed a free chalupa, compliments of the Shades
(Thanks guys!). I am sorry Johnny. Please forgive me.
I wasn't sure how much I'd like this movie. When I think of Greek mythology I think of the class I was
forced to take when I thought I had graduated college. Turned out I had been a credit short, and the only
class available that would fulfill the credit was Greek Mythology. It was an 8:00 AM class in the summer.
I HAD TO WRITE PAPERS!! All those names! All those gods! Oh, how I did not care! I calculated I could
make a D in the class and still graduate cum laude. I got a B. Booya. Fortunately, "Troy" was a much more
enjoyable experience than my class. Let me say that I didn't remember anything of the original story except
the whole Achilles' heel thing, so I don't know how this movie compares story-wise. I do know the story did
keep my interest, and the booty-kicking battle scenes are great. However, I didn't feel as emotionally
involved as I have in other movies such as "The Patriot" or "Braveheart" or "Mean Girls." Yes, I am just
kidding about "Mean Girls."
Maybe if I were a huge Brad Pitt mark I'd feel differently, but I wasn't incredibly impressed with his
performance. Yes, yes, he is in good shape, so you ladies who care will enjoy seeing his studly six-pack
and his long golden locks. But his fake crying at his cousin's death didn't exactly move me. I myself
prefer Eric Bana, and I thought he did a really good job. Plus there was the added bonus of him sporting
a beard to hide his somewhat lack of a chin ("The Hulk" suffered from his beardlessness). I liked the
portrayals of Agamemnon and Menelaus and their power-hungry selves versus the honorable King Priam. Then
there was Orlando Bloom.
Orlando Bloom -- is that a girl or a little boy? He kept reminding me of the second Owen on "Party of Five"
(who coincidentally has a cameo in the movie). I did not enjoy looking at him and his paper-thin lips. In a
way I guess it all worked towards making his character truly seem like the wimp he was. It's too bad he ends
up redeeming himself because I would have rather seen him just get beaten up the whole time. And I didn't
care much about the love story between him and Helen. Fortunately, the fighting would take my mind off of
that mushy stuff.
"Troy" is an entertaining movie with very cool battle scenes between giant armies. It has good action,
some impressive swordplay, and a couple of love stories to appease the girly girls. Brad Pitt delivers
an adequate performance, Eric Bana does a fine job, and Orlando Bloom looks like a girl. You will find
yourself rooting for the characters, but maybe not as much as some other war movies.|
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Copyright © 2004 The Movie Mark. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of these reviews or any of the original material on this site is allowed without prior permission from Johnny Betts. Comply or suffer the consequences of Johnny's size 11 biker boot. Wanna be a Movie Mark? Send Johnny Betts an email (johnny_betts@hotmail.com) to be added to the list or complete: The Movie Mark Questionnaire.
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