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Movie Review - Twisted
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Philip Kaufman |
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| Starring: |
Ashley "I do crying scenes like the Spawn going for her Emmy" ("Young Riders" Inside
Joke #1) Judd, Andy "How hot was I in Ocean's 11" Garcia (Johnny's Note:
That's Ms. Cali's description of Andy Garcia, NOT MINE!), and Samuel L. "I
take every script that's sent to me" Jackson. |
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| Rated: |
R (violence, language, and sexuality) |
| Length: |
97 minutes |
| Genre: |
Thriller |
| Website: |
Twisted |
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PLOT
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A female police detective (Judd) is given a case where she discovers all the murder victims are her past
boyfriends. It's even worse that she suffers from some sort of blackouts and when she wakes up she gets
a call about another dead body being found. Did she commit the murders while in some sort of trance? Or
is somebody trying to frame her? Will hijinks and shenanigans ensue???
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MS. CALI'S TAKE
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To start with, I must give this disclaimer. I saw this movie in a test screening months ago, when it was
still called "The Blackout Murders," so for all I know they could have taken the scathing review I gave them
then and made drastic changes to the movie. However, judging from the trailers, I don't think so. And even
if they did, it would only be halfway good (because when you start out with a plot that's been done a
hundred times over, there's only so much you can do).
Johnny's Note: At the time Ms. Cali wrote this review, the
information on IMDb.com was incomplete. However, all character info is
now up-to-date.
Ashley Judd plays "Jessica" (no last name given on IMDB, and I couldn't even begin to tell you how much I
didn't care about this movie enough to remember the characters' names), a police officer newly made
detective. Her new partner is Andy Garcia (seriously people, not even the people at IMBD care enough about
this movie to tell us what his name is), who is a shady sort of fellow. We meet him at the celebration
being thrown for Jessica the day she is made detective.
Jessica, it turns out, was raised by Mills (Samuel L. Jackson) after her father murdered her mother and then
killed himself. Her father was a cop, and our friend Mills was his partner and best friend. He's also now
Jessica's boss.
Okay, so that's the set up. The night of the party, Jessica gets drunk and goes home with some random guy.
Random guy turns up dead. Jessica gets drunk a lot and goes home with a lot of random guys, all of whom turn
up dead. Jessica blacks out when she is drunk (thus the original working title) and starts to think she is
the one killing the men. I yawn and don't really care, because I figured it out in the first five minutes of
the movie, before anyone turned up dead. I spent most of the movie looking for the brief glimpses they gave
of the first victim because he reminded me somewhat of Gregg Rainwater ("Young Riders" Inside Joke #2).
This movie is full of plot twists so shocking you can see them coming a mile away. As Jessica begins to
investigate the murders, thinking herself a suspect, she also investigates her parents' deaths, trying to
find out why her father snapped the way he did. Of course, there's a plot twist so shocking there the
only word to describe it is formulaic. Also, there's the prerequisite romance between Jessica and her new
partner.
Ashley Judd is usually "hit and miss" with me. I loved her in "Kiss the Girls," hated her in "Someone Like You."
First of all, I can't stand when she tries to do a crying scene - and she does in this movie. Granted,
there wasn't much of a script to work with, but her performance was not by any means good.
Andy Garcia and Samuel L. Jackson were a little better but not great. Overall, I would say this movie was
about as well acted as that old Ty Miller classic, "Slaughterhouse Rock." Okay, maybe more along the lines
of "U.S. Seals," which was a little better, but nowhere near "Trancers 4" ("Young Riders" Inside Joke #3).
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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Would I bring Johnny's mama to this movie? I wouldn't put her through that torture! But even if I did, she
wouldn't like it. This movie got it's "R" rating for a reason - according to IMDB it's for violence, language
& sexuality. Also, there's the incessant presence of alcohol throughout the movie (although, it does
portray the downfalls of alcoholism), so if you have a problem with that, stay away. You know what, just stay
away anyway.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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I've recently started seeing the trailer on TV, and it doesn't really tell much about it. If you enjoyed
"Kiss The Girls," the trailer might make you want to see this movie, but don't believe it! Before I saw the
movie, I read a general description that pretty much gave all the details of the trailer, and I thought it
sounded pretty good. So if you think the trailer looks good, you could be in for a big disappointment. On
the other hand, if the trailer makes you think this will be a terrible movie, then you will get what you expect.
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JOHNNY'S TWO CENTS
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I don't think I hated the movie quite as much as Ms. Cali, but it's not good enough for me to recommend.
I've seen a lot of BAD movies, so I'd say "Twisted" is closer to "average" than it is "horrible." I agree
with Ms. Cali that it's pretty predictable. The thing that annoyed me most is it went by the same formula
for the whole movie:
Ashley Judd gets drunk. Ashley Judd passes out. Ashley Judd wakes up to find out a dead body has been found.
Ashley Judd finds out the dead guy is a former lover. Repeat about 5 times.
Folks, Judd's supposed to be a DETECTIVE! Wouldn't she be smart enough to recognize a pattern here? Why in the
world did she not think to have her wine tested to try to find out why she always passed out after drinking?
Come on.
Fellas, if you're looking forward to seeing this movie because of how hot Ashley Judd is, then I'm sorry, but
she's not looking too great. Her hair is shorter than mine and makes her look like a little boy. In general,
I like Ashley Judd and find her to be attractive, but her character just wasn't very likeable. To put it
bluntly, she played an alcoholic slut who's mad at the world and apparently takes out her rage on her hair.
Oh, and ladies, if you're excited about Andy Garcia being in the movie, well, be warned that he's put on a few
pounds recently. I kept trying to put my finger on who he reminded me of. I was thinking "Daniel Baldwin" for
a while, but then Mr. Shade leaned over to me and hit the nail on the head - Jon Lovitz. That's right, Andy
Garcia looks like Jon Lovitz in this movie. Not good.
The movie is fairly slow-paced, but I'll admit that it kept my interest enough to see if all my predictions
would come true. For the most part, all my predictions *did* come true. I would say don't expect to be
surprised by the ending, but I overheard people talking after the movie and a lot of them seem shocked by
who the killer was. Go figure.
I'm a huge fan of thrillers, but this one doesn't make the top of the list. It just doesn't add any
originality to the genre. I guess I'm still spoiled by "Memento" and "Frequency." I found it somewhat
entertaining (partly because I enjoyed laughing at Judd's crying scene), and I was never really bored,
but mostly I was disappointed. I just expected more from a movie with Ashley Judd and Samuel L. Jackson.
If you're a huge Ashley Judd fan, or if you're just easily surprised, then you might want to catch this at the
theater. But expect something closer to "Eye of the Beholder" than "Kiss the Girls." If you're looking for a
really suspenseful thriller that'll shock you and have you holding your tongue to keep from spoiling the ending,
then keep looking. Back to Ms. Cali...
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THE GIST
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As you can probably tell by now, I didn't think much of this movie. It was formulaic, easy to figure out,
badly acted, and rather boring. And also, Ashley Judd cried, which can ruin any movie for me. However, I was
asked to be a part of a discussion forum at the end of the film, and to my shock, about half of the people in
the group of about 20 said they were shocked by the ending and loved the movie. So it boils down to this: If
you usually figure out who the murderer is pretty easily and pick up on the little details that give it away,
stay away from this movie, as they didn't do it well enough to still hold your attention. On the other hand,
if you are usually surprised when all is revealed, if you've never won a game of Clue in your life, and if you
sleep through half the movie, you might enjoy it.
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