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Movie Review - X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Brett Ratner |
| Starring: |
Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Kelsey Grammer, and Patrick Stewart |
| Rated: |
PG 13 |
| Length: |
104 minutes |
| Genre: |
Action/Sci-Fi/Comic Book |
| Tagline: |
Take a Stand |
| Studio: |
20th Century Fox |
| Website: |
X-Men: The Last Stand |
| Release: |
May 26, 2006 |
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PLOT
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A major pharmaceutical company has developed a way to cure the mutant X-Gene. Obviously, lines are drawn amongst
the X-Men. Some are eager to be rid of their mutations while others insist that there is nothing about them that
needs to be cured.
Magneto decides to take his anti-cure attitude to the extreme. Though the government says the cure is optional,
Magneto believes it will be forced upon the mutants. So what does he want to do? Start killing people and
enforcing his will on the humans. He enlists Jean Grey (in her Dark Phoenix form) to aid him in his
efforts.
Wolverine and company are required to swoop in and save the day once again. Disappointment ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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Puppy love. Trite inspirational speeches. Groups bonding together. What is this, high school or an X-Men
movie?
Ever since it was announced that there would be an X3, my expectations for the film have fluctuated more than
Oprah Winfrey's weight. The first bit of bad news came in the form of Bryan Singer leaving to direct Superman
Returns. Enter Brett "Rush Hour" Ratner and my hopes pulled a Baby Spears and dropped.
Then I heard rumors that Halle Berry was threatening to quit if she didn't get more screen time. Those rumors were
accompanied by even more sinister rumors that Wolverine's role would be reduced as a result. My response would have
been a nice slap on Berry's curvaceous bottom and a fond farewell. But nope, she was promised a bigger part.
But then the first trailer was released and it injected a little life into my downtrodden hopes. Everything was
gonna be OK, right?
I couldn't be so sure, so I kept my expectations at bay, and you know what? I am still disappointed in the
end result.
Most everything about the production feels rushed. Do we really want a ton of new characters without the important
ingredient of character development? The handling of this onslaught of newbies almost has an assembly line feel to
it. "Here's a one-liner and a single opportunity to showcase your powers. Next, please!"
Do we want to see the anticlimactic deaths of original characters just for shock value but with no emotional
impact? If you're going to kill off beloved characters then I expect to have more of a reaction than, "Um, so
is that it?"
Do we want Storm to have a more prominent role just for the sake of keeping Halle Berry's name attached?
Berry's allowed to run on screen whenever Wolverine needs somebody to talk to, so though she does get her wish
for a bigger part, she isn't given more substance to work with. She gets to cry and utter throwaway lines
such as "It's time we make our choice. If you're with us, then be with us," but none of this is to the
benefit of the movie.
The score is soaring and sappily inspirational to the point of annoyance, the dialogue is trite and juvenile to
the point of insulting ("The best defense is a good offense"), and the subplots are neglected to the point of, well,
I'm not sure what the point is.
Despite one cool scene at about the midway point where Juggernaut is making dents in Wolverine's backside, the movie
really doesn't come to life until about the third act. And while the climactic battle is fun to watch, and the
special effects are solid, I honestly didn't see nearly $200 million worth.
If this was the first movie in the series then you could cross your fingers and say, "Well, that showed some
promise. There's room for improvement." At least there's hope in that scenario. But considering the fact that
all X3 delivers is a regression, rather than the "two steps forward" progression that X2 displayed over the
original, then what are we left to hope for? If you're not going to improve on what has preceded you
then what's the point? A quick buck during the Summer?
I pray that this isn't truly the last stand for the X-Men because the series deserves to go out on a better
note. Let's just hope 20th Century Fox still has Bryan Singer's phone number and a willingness to say, "OK, we'll
wait on you this time."
P.S. I recommend staying through the end credits.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- Budget: $210,000,000 - Ouch.
- Bryan Singer was originally set to direct the film, but he accepted an offer to direct Superman Returns
after Brett Ratner was dropped from that project. Singer was willing to come back to X3 after finishing
Superman, but Fox wanted to move forward without him. His chosen replacement? Brett Ratner. So the man
got dropped from Superman but could be trusted with X3? Yeah, I don't get it either.
- At one time Ryan Gosling was rumored to be up for the part of Angel. I'm sure that would've made my sister and
all the Notebook fangirls very happy.
- Josh Holloway was supposedly offered the role of Gambit but turned it down because he
felt it was too similar to his character of Sawyer from Lost. The character was dropped from the film.
I hope that's not true because it makes no sense.
- Summer Glau of Firefly and Serenity fame auditioned for the role of Kitty Pryde.
- Ellen Page, who won the role of Kitty Pryde, looks a lot like a young Linda Cardellini in the movie.
- Kelsey Grammar is quite good as Beast. Much better than I initially thought he'd be.
- During the final confrontation between Wolverine and the Dark Phoenix, Wolverine's shirt is completely burned
away. We see his skin being burned away as well (but it keeps healing since that's part of his power). What's
most interesting is that his pants are completely unaffected and show nary a burn mark. Wow, must be some powerful
material!
- Mr. Shade and I couldn't stop laughing when Magneto appeared on the news and the line "Magneto issues threat"
appeared on screen. It just looks silly. Wouldn't a news station use the guy's real name? When Beast is
named a special ambassador he's introduced as "Dr. Hank McCoy." That plays better on a serious news channel
than "Beast Named New Ambassador."
- Mr. Shade, my cousin Nicholas, and I were all disappointed in the movie. Stephanie, however, seemed to enjoy
it more than we did. She said after reading some bad reviews that she lowered her expactations enough that they
ended up being exceeded.
- Anna Paquin was in All the Rage with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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Despite a handful of off-color words (one character calls another "d**k-head"), this isn't too bad for the kids.
However, there's a heavy makeout scene between Wolverine and Jean Grey and a little Rebecca Romijn side nudity
that may cause parents to hurry up and cover their kid's eyes.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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Based on the trailer I was expecting a better movie than I was given.
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THE GIST
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X-Men: The Last Stand isn't anywhere near being a bad or unwatchable movie, but given what has preceded it,
it is a bit of a disappointment. It's not going to win many new fans or convert any haters, but if you're a fan of
the series then lower your expectations, check it out, and hope you aren't let down by it as much as I was.
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