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Movie Review - Zathura (2005)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Jon Favreau |
| Starring: |
Jonah Bobo, Josh Hutcherson, Dax Shepard, Kristen Stewart, and Tim Robbins |
| Rated: |
PG (for fantasy action and peril, and some language) |
| Length: |
113 minutes |
| Genre: |
Fantasy/Adventure |
| Tagline: |
Adventure Is Waiting |
| Studio: |
Sony Pictures |
| Website: |
Zathura |
| Release: |
November 11, 2005 |
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PLOT
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When their father (Robbins) has to leave the house for a while, two young brothers (Bobo and Hutcherson)
are forced to fend for themselves, especially since their older sister (Stewart) is more interested in
catching up on her beauty sleep than keeping an eye on them.
After his older brother Walter forces him into the basement, Danny comes across an old game called
Zathura. It looks like the day is saved! Hmm, maybe not. A meteor shower striking the house isn't
a good thing, right? And I suppose the fact that their house is now hurtling through space could be
construed as bad, huh? Yeah, it looks like it's in the boys' best interest to hurry up and find an
end to the game. Jumanji in space ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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Little known fact - "Zathura" is foreign for "I should've stayed home." You don't believe me? Well, feel
free to search around on the Internet for a few hours to prove me wrong.
I'm not saying this is a bad movie; I'm just saying it didn't do it for me. Granted, I wasn't in the mood
to watch it in the first place. The fact that the screening was at the worst theater in Memphis
COUGHRidgewayHACK certainly didn't help. Seriously, the
place needs to be bulldozed. The chair I was in made me long for the "comfort" of an airplane seat. There
was no way for me to position my arms without them being pressed against the arm "rests," which were made
out of some sort of sharp steel, by the way. Naturally, I had a couple of temporary dents in my arms by
the time the credits rolled. Ridiculous.
My only recourse was to put my hands in front of me as if I were lying in a coffin. Add to that the fact
that the temperature was a balmy 85 degrees, our seats seemed to be on a 45 degree ramp, and a nice, musty aroma
saturated the air, and it's not hard to figure out why this wasn't a pleasant viewing experience.
Anyway, I guess I should get back to the movie. I'll admit that if I saw this when I was a pre-teen then I
probably would have thought it was really cool. Zathura is basically an action movie for 10 year
olds. The special effects, the robot, and the aliens are well done, particularly for a live-action kid's
movie. Unfortunately, it just doesn't hold the same appeal to me now. It's just hard for me to feel
any real excitement while watching action scenes in what is essentially a kid's fairy tale. There's no
real suspense since I know an 8-year-old isn't going to be decapitated by a robot nor will an alien devour
him.
To make matters worse, the brothers are two of the most annoying brats I've seen on the big screen in
quite some time. Allow me to present some sample dialogue (with maybe a slight paraphrase) to prove my
point:
Walter: You're a baby!
Danny: I am not a baby!
Walter: You are TOO a baby!
Danny: NO I'M NOT A BABY!
Walter: BABY!
Danny: I HATE YOU!
Walter: BLAH BLAH!
Danny: BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Man, they were giving me a headache. I know, I know, perhaps this is how a lot of brothers act towards
each other. And I understand that there had to be conflict between the two so that we could have a sappy
"everybody should love his brother" message at the end. But their constant bickering did nothing but pull
me out of the story and make me pray that corporal punishment would reign down on them soon.
I also suppose I shouldn't demand sharp dialogue in a film like this, but some of it falls laughably flat.
There's one scene where the brothers are looking for their sister and yell out, "Where's Lisa???" We see
an alien come flying down the stairs and then Lisa replies, "Lisa *dramatic pause* is upstairs." You could
tell Director Favreau expected audiences to explode in uproarious applause at this act of toughness, but
the dead silence that filled the theater indicated plans didn't go as expected.
As I alluded to earlier, this should play well with children in the 10-year-old range, but I just wasn't
feelin' it. I should also caution parents that you might want to think twice before taking your really
young ones. It's a little scary for the wee tots. Mr. Shade's 3-year-old daughter said she wanted to go
home at least four times. Of course, Mr. Shade's selfishness prevented that from happening. We can only
hope poor Baby Shade isn't scarred for life.
And is it just me, or is it a little inappropriate for young brothers to be calling each other a slang
term for male genitalia in a PG movie? Am I just old-fashioned or does anybody else find that to be a bit
much?
If you're a huge fan of Jumanji and you've been dying to see this follow-up, then go right ahead.
You won't see me picketing at the theater, trying to stop you. But if you're on the fence then you better
think long and hard about whether it's worth it. Make sure that you are totally in the mood. Otherwise,
afterwards if somebody asks you what in the world "Zathura" means you just might find yourself saying,
"I should've stayed home."
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ODDS & ENDS
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- Based on the book Zathura by Chris Van Allsburg.
- John Debney of The Young Riders fame does the music. This guy is everywhere!
- That's about all the odds and ends I feel like looking for with this movie.
- Kristen Stewart was in Panic Room with Jared Leto who was in My So-Called Life with
Claire Danes who was in The Mod Squad with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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This isn't overly offensive, but I was a little surprised at some of the language considering this is PG.
The most shocking moment was within the first few minutes when one brother calls the other a "d*ck." The
kids utter a handful of other mild profanities ("hell," "@$$," "bee-yotch") that parents might not want
their children repeating.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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No real surprises.
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THE GIST
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Zathura should thoroughly entertain the youngsters although it may be a little too intense for the
preschoolers. This isn't a total chore for adults to sit through, but if you're like me then you'll
quickly tire of the brothers' constant yapping and will long for a little solitude.
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