"Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan

THE MOVIE MARK RATING GUIDE

Well, I'm rating movies, so I should give you an explanation as to what my ratings mean, right? Right. "Thanks, Johnny, this is very informative. But why do you use little targets for your ratings rather than stars or something else that's been beaten to death?"

Good question. Mainly because I'm trying to pretend like I'm being original. My definition of a "Movie Mark" is:

Main Entry: mov·ie mark
Pronunciation: 'mü-vE 'märk
Function: noun

1: A studly, witty, and highly intellectual individual who has his own website and reviews movies.
2: A person who loves movies and thus, is targeted by the movie studios.

If you love movies then you've got a big red target on your chest. You are a mark. So my ratings are based on how much I "mark out" for a movie. The more I like it, the more I mark out, and the more targets it'll get. Plus, I try to rate things in regard to how much money I'd spend to see the movie. I'm sure we're all money-conscious, so this is my way of trying to provide just a wee bit of a public service to all of you fine readers.

	Bullseye! A film so good it might actually convince me to unclench my fist and pay the full evening price to see this at the theater. Plus, I marked out so much that I'll be adding it to my DVD collection.

	It has a few flaws, but it's still top-notch. It's definitely one to see at the theater, and for the right price I'll add it to my DVD collection.

	Not too shabby. Definitely make it a matinee though. If I was in the right mood, then I'd probably watch it again one day, but I don't really need to add it to my collection.

	Shrugs shoulders Whatever. I've seen worse movies, but I've definitely seen A LOT better. This deserves no more than a rental, and your best bet is to catch it on TV when you're desperate for something to watch.

	BUYER'S REMORSE! The only value in this movie is how much I'm able to make fun of it, but trust me, if I had spent more than a couple of bucks on this poop then I'd still be kicking myself. DON'T WATCH IT ALONE!

	VIEWER'S REMORSE! I cannot believe I actually wasted precious hours of my life on this rubbish. Time is money, so please, don't waste either on this.

RETURN TO
HOME PAGE
The Dark Knight

Journey to the Center of the Earth

Hancock

Get Smart

The Incredible Hulk

The Strangers

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Young at Heart

Iron Man

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

Weekend Results:
1. The Dark Knight($158,411,483)

2. Mamma Mia!($27,751,240)

3. Hancock($14,040,178)

4. Journey to the Center of the Earth($12,340,435)

5. Hellboy 2($10,117,815)

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Copyright © 2004 The Movie Mark. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of these reviews or any of the original material on
this site is allowed without prior permission from Johnny Betts. Comply or suffer the consequences of Johnny's size 11 biker boot.

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The Movie Mark Questionnaire.

IQ-100	READERS WITH DOUBLE DIGIT IQS STRONGLY CAUTIONED
Some Humor May Be Too Sophisticated For People With Sub-100 IQs
INTENSE HUMOR AND SEXY REVIEWING