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| "Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan |
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WWWP - Cell Phones + Quiet Theater = Don't Mix
So I'm sitting in the theater the other day when all of a sudden I hear the distinctive sound of a cell
phone ringing. I sighed, shook my head, and silently wished ill will upon the perpetrator. Oh well, I
figured the guy would silence the cell phone and all would be well within a couple of seconds. I should've
brought a calculator with me because I figured wrong.The guy answers his phone and PROCEEDS TO HAVE A CONVERSATION! What's worse is it was during a quiet part of the movie, and he was TALKING IN A REGULAR SPEAKING VOICE! The jerk-faced jack-a-dandy didn't even have the courtesy to whisper. It would've been nice to actually hear the dialogue in the movie, but it was hard to hear over his apparently important phone conversation. "Hey! ... I'm at the movies ... Resident Evil ... Yeah, it's pretty good ... All right ... OK, I guess I'll call you back then..." and it went on for at least a minute. Wow, dude, that sounded like a really important phone call. Glad you decided to take that one. I'm assuming somebody's life must've been saved after finding out the guy was at the movies. People were yelling at him to shut up, and I've just gotta say it's a good thing I've learned to control my temper as I've gotten older. I was severely tempted to calmly take the guy's cell phone from his hand and launch it toward the front of the theater. It was either that or use his teeth as a speed bag. What do you want to bet it would've been the last time he talked out loud on a cell phone at the movies? You'd be surprised at the effectiveness of this method. On a lesser scale, sometime around 6th grade, I got sick and tired of hearing my friend Brian brag about some Run DMC tape that his mom got him. My mom wouldn't allow me to have a copy, so he thought it'd be funny to wave his around in my face. "Where's your copy, huh? Wanna borrow mine? Too bad, I'm gonna be listening to it for a while," were his taunts. "There's YOUR copy," was my reply as I snatched the tape from his hand and launched it into his swimming pool. Let me tell you, he never pulled anything like that again. You gotta be unpredictable and let people know that you mean business. Folks, there's a little thing in life I like to refer to as common courtesy. It's not a bad thing to have every now and then. If you have a cell phone, and you go to a movie, then TURN THE RINGER OFF! And if you're the type of person that is easily tempted to answer your phone and carry on a normal-voiced conversation during a movie, then just leave your cell phone at home or in the car. Get that temptation out of sight. Honestly, how important of a call are you going to get during a movie? If your wife is pregnant, or if you have a family member who is near death in the hospital, or if there is some other possible life emergency that requires you to be near your cell phone then YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE AT THE MOVIES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! So please, quit being selfish for once. I know it's asking a lot, but you don't have to be an inconsiderate jerk in ALL areas of your life. I think theaters need to devise ways to deal with these types of people. My suggestion is to find the offending person, and seat an undercover employee directly behind him. The employee should then proceed to annoy the guy the rest of the movie. Kick his chair, throw popcorn in his hair, lean forward and whisper in the guy's ear, give away any major plot twists that might be coming up, things of that nature. Just drive him absolutely crazy. If he attempts to complain, then you just say, "Sorry, you talked out loud on your cell phone, so there's nothing we can do." It'll leave a lasting impression on the jerk, plus the employee will enjoy a little slice of job fulfillment. Or, if that fails, you just calmly remove the cell phone from the person's hand and launch it toward the front of the theater. Then muster your best Schwarzenegger impersonation, turn to the person, and say, "Looks like your minutes are up." WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?! |
HOME PAGE  Journey to the Center of the Earth Hancock Get Smart The Incredible Hulk The Strangers Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Young at Heart Iron Man Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed  Weekend Results: 1. The Dark Knight($158,411,483) 2. Mamma Mia!($27,751,240) 3. Hancock($14,040,178) 4. Journey to the Center of the Earth($12,340,435) 5. Hellboy 2($10,117,815) |
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