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WWWP - Leftover Popcorn. Why?

Do you realize how much it costs to buy popcorn at the movies these days? Here in Memphis it's typically between $3 and $4. I could complain all day about how overpriced that is. You can get a this-will-last-you-a-month bag of popcorn for less than $4 at Wal-Mart. Granted, if your name is Rosie O'Donnell then it may only last you a day, but you get my point. And you can get a 3-bag (6 servings) box of Orville Redenbacher for about $2. But this article isn't about that. Perhaps another day I'll write an article regarding my theory on how college books and movie concessions are part of a major non-investigated crime racket, but today I'm curious about the people who buy popcorn when they go to the movies.

I know that movie popcorn is very good. I've gotten it a few times myself. Granted, I kicked myself for days because I couldn't stop dwelling on how much I spent on it. "Holy cow, I could've bought 4 Big 'n Tasties for that price! What have I done??? Is there a way to overcome this mistake???" Stephanie will usually just roll her eyes and tell me to get over it, but sometimes it's hard to let go. Anyway, if you want to buy movie popcorn then that is your business. However, if you spend over $3 for a bucket of popcorn, then don't you think you should eat ALL of it? Or at least MOST of it?

After every movie I go see, WITHOUT FAIL, I always see at least one bucket of popcorn that is practically full. Honestly, it usually looks like the person maybe ate two or three handfuls. Why? What is the point? Why would you spend so much money on something so overpriced and not EAT ALL OF IT?!?!?!?! Is there any reasoning behind that?

Folks, on the very rare occasion when I actually get movie popcorn, I make sure that every single piece of popcorn is eaten. Not only that, I also eat all the kernels. The best method is to suck on the kernels for a while. That's a good way to extract all of the butter and salt while softening the kernels enough to easily chew them. And if Stephanie wouldn't get mad at me and say "it's sooooo embarrassing," then I'd also lick the bucket and make sure none of the butter and salt went to waste. I'm a man who knows how to get the most out of his money.

So I just don't understand how anyone's conscience can let him waste so much popcorn. What are you thinking? We could probably feed the entire world on wasted movie popcorn alone. Don't you realize that you're handing over your hard-earned money and practically saying, "You just overcharged me for popcorn? Well I'm only going to eat a couple of handfuls and I'll let the rest go to waste. That'll show you! Muhahahahaha!" Since people obviously love wasting money, let me help out. Here are some other fun ways you could equally waste that $3 at the movies:

  1. Upon entering the theater look for trashcan. Once you find it, walk over to it, open it, and insert your $3.
  2. Give the cashier $3 and say, "Keep the popcorn."
  3. Walk into the bathroom. Head to the stall. Drop $3 into the toilet. Flush.
  4. Take 300 pennies into the theater with you. Eat 3 of them, and leave 297 on the theater floor.
  5. Take 300 pennies into the theater with you. Put 3 of them into your pocket, and then give 297 of them to a complete stranger and say, "I just don't feel like keeping all of them."
Do any of those suggestions make sense? No? Then what sense does it make to leave so much popcorn uneaten? WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!
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Journey to the Center of the Earth

Hancock

Get Smart

The Incredible Hulk

The Strangers

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Young at Heart

Iron Man

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

The Forbidden Kingdom

Weekend Results:

1. Hancock($62,603,879)

2. Wall-E($32,509,203)

3. Wanted($20,050,070)

4. Get Smart($11,109,408)

5. Kung Fu Panda($7,318,635)
 
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