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The Expendables 2 (by Shawn Mathenia) (2012)

- 103 mins - ,

" Sly, puts together a movie that is so bad (honestly, it shouldn't work) that it should win a Golden Globe for "FUNNEST, COOLEST, AND CRAZIEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR." I give it 20 boots out of 5. "


Starring: , , , , , ,


Tagline: Back for War.

Release Date: August 17, 2012


Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.


matheniaThere are 3 movies that I was waiting for this summer: THE AVENGERS, THE EXPENDABLES 2, and DREDD.  The Avengers was awesome!  And I am still waiting for Dredd (please be good!).  LET ME TELL YOU: THE EXPENDABLES DOES NOT LET YOU DOWN.

Hey everybody,  Shawn Paul here.  Adam couldn’t make it to this movie.  He was too busy playing with his HE-MAN action figures.  Actually, he was playing with his old SHE-RA sword.  His wife said that he was running around the house yelling, “IN THE HONOR OF GREYSKULL!” [Editor's note: Actually, I was running around yelling, "By the power of Greyskull!"  Proceed sir...]  So I am here giving you this review for my favorite summer movie.

Yes, I said favorite.  Don’t get me wrong, THE AVENGERS is amazing, but TE2 is just flat out FUN.  I mean, EVERY-FREAKING-BODY is in this movie.  Sly takes the best parts of the first movie (which rocked) and adds almost every action star from the 80′s and gives us a movie that has a body count that made me laugh.  Literally, the opening 10 minutes had me laughing so hard at the amount of people being shot that I had tears in my eyes.  To count the deaths, one would have to go through the scene frame by frame in sloooooow motion.  The amount of CGI blood made me giddy.  IT IS MANLY AND AWESOME.

Sly, puts together a movie that is so bad (honestly, it shouldn’t work) that it should win a Golden Globe for “FUNNEST, COOLEST, AND CRAZIEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR.”  Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude were always tolerable to watch.  But in this movie, they steal every scene that they are in.  They are so good; I am thinking about get a DL tattoo on my left butt cheek and a VAN DAMME tattoo on my right cheek. [Editor's Note: I'm filing this under TMI.  My apologies to all seven of my loyal readers.]

The list of actors in this movie is long, so I won’t list them off, but every actor gets his moment on screen.  Jet Li is in the film for the first 10 minutes.  I hope he is back for the third, because his moment set the tone for the rest of the movie.  What that little Asian did with a frying pan made me hungry for stir-fry.

I didn’t want to like THOR’s brother (Liam Hemsworth), but the guy is a good actor.  He plays it completely straight.  I won’t give it away, but he really sells his role.  I look forward to seeing him again.

CHUCK NORRIS.  That is all I need to say about that.  LOL.  Chuck Norris does a Chuck Norris joke.  You don’t get cooler than that.

Seeing Stallone, Arnold, and Bruce standing side-by-side, blowing people up is worth the price of admission.

Statham is fun to watch.  The guy is almost a cracker version of Jackie Chan.  He flows like honey: smooth and sweet.  His final fight scene is Indiana Jones-ish and crazy.

The final fight between Stallone and Damme is – well – JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME AMAZING.  My wife just told me that line is not very original.  I told her that it was OK because neither was the movie.  But both – my line and the movie – are fun and make me laugh.

The only bad part of the movie is Arnold’s one liners, but who cares ?!?!?!

So, go see this movie.  Leave reality in the car.  Eat some popcorn and have FUN.

I give this movie 20 boots out of 5.

Until next time… PEACE.

Let me know what you think about my review and check out my website and videos at


Rated R for strong bloody violence throughout. Will your mom like it? I doubt it, unless she likes lots of blood and heads being blown off. I know there was some cussing, but I think they cut down on the language for Chuck Norris.

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