Archive for November, 2012

In the Tradition of The Gingerdead Man

Consider this my Thanksgiving gift to you.  Here’s the plot teaser:

In an ingenious – albeit unconventional – casting decision, Jared from Subway plays Jared – a kid who has been a loser his entire life.  His face is so pocked with acne that kids in school called him “Chocolate Chip Face.”  Even his parents are embarrassed of him.

Fed up with his unfavorable lot in life, he goes to visit a woman who is said to have mystical powers.  After their meeting, she gives him a batch of “special” chocolate chip cookies that she instructs him to eat before going to bed.  He does as requested and the next morning he wakes up and looks into the mirror to see that his entire head has literally been transformed into a chocolate chip cookie.

Intrigued?  You know you are.  Now go read the full synopsis and have a great Thanksgiving.

Who remembers Rebecca Black’s “song” Friday?  Don’t worry; if you have never heard of it then I’ll acquaint you with it tomorrow.

Everybody is intimately aware that November typically kick-starts a two-month long inundation of Christmas songs.  But where are all the Thanksgiving songs?  Well, you need lose sleep over that question no longer.  Patrice Wilson – the Friday songwriter – has once again made an attempt to end the music industry as we know it with a new song called It’s Thanksgiving.  This time it’s an unfortunate young lady by the name of Nicole Westbrook whose misguided desire for fame has put her in the cross-hairs of public ridicule.

This Patrice guy just creeps me out.  It’s not enough that he writes and produces this stuff, but he insists on appearing in and singing in the videos.  This time he wears a turkey suit, a ridiculously out-of-place scarf, and perpetuates stereotypes.  The man clearly has no shame.  Sadly, he probably has plenty of money.

I know this is brutal to watch, but hang on until 2 1/2 minutes in when Ms. Westbrook starts to rap at the dinner table.  If this doesn’t make you want to sing “mashed potatoes on my table” into a turkey leg then I don’t know what will!  Enjoy.

“Needs more Brolin” is the new “needs more cowbell.”  You folks have reminded me that just because I and The Movie Mark helped launched Josh’s acting career into the stratosphere doesn’t mean the job is done.  Yes, he is dominating Hollywood and making chump meat of all who cross his path, but we’ve gotta help him keep it up.

It’s my job (and yours) to keep things such as the ‘stache gallery (see below) and the American Gangster white pimp suit on the forefront of the world’s mind.

So today I give you the second official trailer of Josh’s upcoming Gangster Squad.  Brolin lays the smack down all over Sean Penn’s ugly mug?  Sign me up!  Looks awesome.

This:

The above is a pic from the set of Brolin’s upcoming film Oldboy.  As you can tell, Josh will proceed to kick major amounts of rumpage in the film.  That’s a given.  Check out what his co-star James Ransone had to say about Josh and his role (from a Q&A with EW):

“Josh, no matter what people’s expectation of the movie is, is really intense. He’s been living with this. He knew he was going to do this for a long time. His A-game is really intense. In the remake, the captivity scenes are longer than in the original. In the remake, they get more in-depth. What Josh did to his body, I’ve never seen an actor do before. He showed up pretty lean, pretty cut, and they shot the scene pretty much in sequence. In the course of nine days, he was ripped, he was fat, and then he was ripped again. He gained 35 pounds in one week, and then he dropped 19 pounds. I think Josh is so talented at what he does, I think there’s no way it’s going to be that bad. I met him for the first time last week. I’ve never worked with him before.”

I’ll now be in search of this outfit.  I might just have to get an Under Armour shirt and doctor it a bit.

Who remembers the great Brolin ‘Stache Revival of 2007?  Here’s the gallery:

My hope is his next line of films will result in a clothing gallery as awesome as the ‘Stache Gallery above.  I know that’s asking a lot and is a bit unrealistic, but if anybody can pull it off it’s The Brolin.

Here’s a video to send you merrily into the weekend.  If you haven’t heard of the “Bad Lip Reading” series then it’s time to change that.  My friends Shawn and Kristi introduced me to them this weekend.

We’ll start with a scene from Twilight.  Kudos to anybody who can create a way for me to enjoy watching anything from that movie!

Enjoy.

“Dude… you slapped a fiiiiiiiiish.  You punched it.  Why would you hit it?”

“That cake’s my most bestest creation.”

If you’re a Star Wars fan then you have most likely heard the news – Disney has worked out a deal with George Lucas to buy LucasFilm, and they’ve already announced that they’re making a new trilogy, starting with Episode 7 in 2015.

You can read the full story here.

No word yet on if George Lucas’ chin will make an appearance as an alien life form.

So, what do you think?  I have high hopes.  More Star Wars films is a good thing.  Less Lucas involvement is even better!  Sure, Disney could go the route of focusing more on merchandise than story and mess this up, but if they put it in the right hands then this can be awesome.

Star Wars fans owe a debt of gratitude to Mr. Lucas for his original vision, but let’s keep in mind that he’s responsible for Ewoks replacing Wookiies in Return of the Jedi and – most regrettably – JarJar Binks.

He’s also responsible for the clunky dialogue between Anakin and Padme.  So the idea of Lucas acting as a consultant but placing the bulk of the writing and directing in more capable hands has me excited.