Archive for October, 2012

Despite the emperor’s decree that a recently discovered time travel machine is NOT to be used, the well-known Roman Centurion – Maximus (Dolph Lundgren) – decides to defy the emperor and see what the future has to offer.  After traveling to modern times, Maximus finds himself in a beat up old Ford, traveling down a rural road.  What transpires is a journey of epic proportions where Maximus must learn a new way of life and a new way of dealing with people.  Maximus’ defining moment occurs when he comes face to face with the fact that the things we do in life really DO echo in eternity.

All right Bond fans, here’s a featurette that discusses the upcoming James Bond installment – Skyfall – and its relevance in regard to the 50th Anniversary of the iconic character.  I’m looking forward to this one.  I love Daniel Craig as Bond, and I thought Casino Royale was the bee’s knees.  The bee’s knees, I tell ya!    Quantum Solace was OK, but it was a bit of a chaotic misstep.  If the trailers depict the film accurately then Skyfall should get this franchise back on track.

I love the fact that Javier Bardem has outdone his bad hairdo from No Country for Old Men.  I did not think that was possible so kudos on a hair job well done.  Or poorly done in this case.

Details and video are below…

Starring: Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Ralph Fiennes, Naomie Harris, and Judi Dench as “M”

Rating: This film has been rated PG-13 by the MPAA for INTENSE VIOLENT SEQUENCES THROUGHOUT, SOME SEXUALITY, LANGUAGE AND SMOKING.

Synopsis: Daniel Craig is back as Ian Fleming’s James Bond 007 in Skyfall, the 23rd adventure in the longest-running film franchise of all time.  In Skyfall, Bond’s loyalty to M is tested as her past comes back to haunt her.  As MI6 comes under attack, 007 must track down and destroy the threat, no matter how personal the cost.

Check out the synopsis and first trailer below.  Looks good to me!  Glad to see Ben Kingsley proving that miracles still occur.  There’s no other way to explain his career’s survival after starring in The Love Guru, BloodRayne, Thunderbirds, AND A Sound of Thunder.  Whew.  Dude must have bought quite the nice Summer home.

U.S. Release date: May 3, 2013

Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Rebecca Hall, Stephanie Szostak, James Badge Dale, Jon Favreau, and Ben Kingsley
Director: Shane Black

Synopsis: Marvel’s “Iron Man 3” pits brash-but-brilliant industrialist Tony Stark/Iron Man against an enemy whose reach knows no bounds. When Stark finds his personal world destroyed at his enemy’s hands, he embarks on a harrowing quest to find those responsible. This journey, at every turn, will test his mettle. With his back against the wall, Stark is left to survive by his own devices, relying on his ingenuity and instincts to protect those closest to him. As he fights his way back, Stark discovers the answer to the question that has secretly haunted him: does the man make the suit or does the suit make the man?

“A movie version of Welcome Back, Kotter has been in the works for years.  Here’s the worst part – it is set to star Ice Cube.  This should alarm you.  Could there be a more defiant way for Hollywood to say, “We’re short on ideas”?  That’s a tough call.  I figure I might as well jump into this dazzling display of ZERO creativity and offer a few ideas of my own.”

Go on and read the list.  You’ll be glad you did.

I was feeling a little nostalgic recently and decided to read an old “Johnny Betts” paper from elementary school.  In doing so, I noticed something very interesting when you click on the “Tools” menu item on Microsoft Word. Check it out:

Feel free to send this slice of hilarity to all your friends and family. But keep in mind that it is a Movie Mark original, so you’re required to provide proper credit.  Failure to do so will result in a Southern Fried, biker boot-laced beat down.

“Hey, you said that was an old paper you wrote in elementary school?”

Yeah, that’s right.

“Um, there was no such thing as Microsoft Word when you were in elementary school.”

Yeah, well, I’ve had my staff transfer all my old handwritten school papers into Word for longevity, posterity, and whatnot.  Don’t be a smart aleck.

Actual photo of the Chinese bootleg DVD that includes a part of my review (without my permission).

Did you know the Chinese bootleg DVD market has actually stolen my reviews to use on the back of their DVDs?  An American living in China alerted me to this fact!  I think this means I’ve officially “made it.”

Go on, read the full story.  You know you want to.

And please use the comments section to answer the question regarding how YOU found The Movie Mark.  I’d love to hear your stories.

What do you get when you combine a 40-foot hound dog, Lorenzo Lamas, and a bunch of bad puns of Elvis lyrics?  A whole bunch of awesomeness, that’s what!

Read the rest of the details on this awesomely hilarious Movie Mark Original…

“I chuckled, I smiled, I rolled my eyes, and I shook my head in disbelief.  Is that range of emotions worth $10 a pop?  Not to me.  But I do applaud the film’s message, its dedication to family entertainment, and its heart.

It could’ve been worse.  It could’ve been called Here Comes the Honey Boom Boom and gone down a really dark path.”

Read the rest of the review…

First off, you’ll have to excuse The Movie Mark’s one week break.  I know all seven of my readers suffered conniption fits as you daily checked the site, longing for a new post.  I also know that you struggled to sleep at night wondering if I had disappeared again.  Welp, never fear.  My wife and I were on a much needed vacation.  I simply chose not to give y’all a heads up.  There’s a couple of you who’d take it upon yourselves to camp out in my yard if you knew I was out of town so I figured I’d just bypass that risk.

OK, on to my thought of the day…

Regular man, Brad Pitt, recently commented on the sad state of actors’ salaries these days, stating that he believes the days of making more than $10 million per film are done.  At least for now.  “Yeah, that thing died,” the hand-to-mouth actor stated.  Reflecting on the negative impact that the economic downturn has had on Hollywood, Mr. Pitt has no choice but to resolve himself to finding a way to make ends meet.  How he’ll manage to do that – considering he only made $25 million last year – is anyone’s guess.  But it’s comforting to know that he’s in the same boat as everybody else.

“You take the roles for the roles,” he said. “And you’ve just got to balance economics like everyone does.”

While I think it’s ridiculous for Pitt to pretend he faces the same struggles as the average working man, I actually can’t criticize him for his “You take the roles for the roles” comment.  Looking at his resume, he actually hasn’t taken what would be considered ridiculously bad roles in the last few years.  Some of the movies he’s been in have been dreadfully boring (COUGH – babel – COUGH), but he’s managed to avoid stooping to roles just to make payments on a 4th boat house.

Val Kilmer on the other hand… now there’s a guy who can truly speak on the effects of our economic downturn.  When you’ve starred in not one, not two, but THREE straight-to-DVD movies with 50 Cent, well, it’s more than time for self-evaluation.

I think Val needs to stop using “I’m your huckleberry” as a response to every role he’s offered.  Please, Val, just say no!

“They’re the biggest tools around.”

What happens when you combine David Hasselhoff, Mario Lopez, and gratuitous Saved by the Bell references?  Another classic Movie Mark Original, of course!

Continue reading to find out all the juicy details of Black & Decker…