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Movie Mark Originals

If you’ve ever sat at home alone on a Saturday night with nothing better to do than stare blankly at the TV while mindlessly flipping through the channels then you have most likely had the misfortune of coming across the dangerous animal known as the “Sci Fi Original.” Making its habitat on the Sci Fi Channel (now ridiculously spelled “Sy Fy”), the “Sci Fi Original” feeds on the brain cells of unsuspecting viewers who get trapped in a state of hypnosis induced by an inexplicably seductive blend of bad acting, horrific dialogue, and low-grade special effects.

Taking on such thought-provoking titles as Mansquito, Frankenfish, and Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy, the “Sci Fi Original” exhibits neither shame nor remorse for what its victims endure for approximately 90 minutes of runtime. However, the existence of the “Sci Fi Original” has led to one unintentional positive revelation: I can eventually make it as a screenwriter. Somebody gets paid to write the scripts for these movies, and the Sy Fy Channel’s commercials prove that these cheesy movies aren’t going away any time soon.

Therefore, I’ve risen to the challenge to create my own self-aware bad movies that are clever enough to reach cult classic status. Why take your movie too seriously when sometimes all you need are cringe-inducing one-liners, actors who can’t act, and horrific puns?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you The MovieMark Originals…

Title Cast
© 2012 The Movie Mark, Inc.
Chock-Kill-Ate Chip Cookie Man
He is one tough cookie.
Steven Seagal, Jared from Subway, and Nick Nolte
Maximus Overdrive
The Gladiator Who Defied an Empire ... by Time Traveling
Dolph Lundgren
Hound Dog Desert
He Ain't No Friend of Yours.
Lorenzo Lamas, an Elvis impersonator
Black & Decker
They're the Biggest Tools Around.
Mario Lopez, David Hasselhoff, Edward James Olmos
He'll get all up in your grill.
Daniel Baldwin, Jan-Michael Vincent, Vanessa Angel
Human Fillet
Eat more human.
Lou Diamond Phillips, Betty White
Dakota Chronicles 3: Tres-Pastor
He'll Invade Your Home; He'll Invade Your Soul.
Gary Busey, Chuck Norris, Beard Norris
Say cheese. Spicy Monterey Jack cheese...
Danny Trejo, Lorenzo Lamas, Lou Diamond Phillips
Twombstone AKA 2wombstone
If you thought The Return of Josey Wales WITHOUT Clint Eastwood was the worst idea for a Western sequel ever...
Michael Parks, C. Thomas Howell, Jan-Michael Vincent
They spend 10 hours a day sleeping. The other 14 are spent eating... HUMANS.
C. Thomas Howell, Bruce Campbell
Dakota Chronicles 2: Divide by Zero
Chuck Norris never says never...
Chuck Norris, Beard Norris, Lorenzo Lamas
Commode-o Dragon
All he ever wanted to be was a peaceful pet ... until he became FLUSH with anger!
Corbin Bernsen, KaDee Strickland
Bananacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Red Banana in October
They're back, and this time they're hungry ... FOR BANANAS!
Harrison Ford
Gnats: In the Mind’s Eye
This is GNAT Your Ordinary Pest!
Patrick Muldoon, Lorenzo Lamas, Kari Wuhrer
Fire Ants: It’s Picnic Time
It can carry 50 times its own weight ... IN DEATH!
Michael Paré and any good-looking, no-name actress who looks nothing like a biology teacher
Queen Bee: Breakin’ Out in Hives
Neglected her whole life, now she'll never be A DRONE!
Stephen Baldwin, Clare Wren, and Ty Miller
Dakota Chronicles 1: Nun Chuck
Thou shalt have no other beards before his.
Chuck Norris, Beard Norris
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