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Archive for June, 2012

Movie Mark Originals!

Divide By Zero

A reader recently requested that I add all of the old Movie Mark Originals to the page.  And if there is anything that I like to do it’s win softball games with a walk-off homerun.  However, I also like to make my readers happy. There are currently 25 MMOs in pre-production, so I’m entering them a couple at a time.  But it’s Friday, and y’all need some light, humorous reading to send you into your weekend, so I’ve added six this week:

Enjoy!  More to come…

80s Nostalgia: The Adventures of Bayou Billy

The Adventures of Bayou Billy

“I was watching G4′s Top 100 Video Games of All Time series the other day, and seeing the plethora of old Atari and original NES (Nintendo Entertainment System) games discussed overwhelmed me with a sense of nostalgia.  Hours of my childhood were spent in front of the Atari and then the Nintendo, marveling at the ever-evolving technology of video games.  So naturally, I had to go to my parents and pull out my old Nintendo and re-live a little bit of my childhood.”

Continue reading…

6 of the Worst Movie Posters of All Time

Corky Romano“Movie posters have one purpose – to convince audiences to see a movie. In order to do so, the poster must employ a variety of persuasive techniques – visually pleasing colors, a clever tagline, flattering quotes from a critic, star power, a graphically represented attention-getter, etc. At the very least, the poster shouldn’t be an ugly burden on the eyes.”

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Brave Movie Review

Brave movie review

“Visually stunning, but substantially lacking, Brave checks in near the bottom of my favorite Pixar movies list, right next to Ratatouille.  Sure, the cinematography is beautiful and the effects are top-notch.  But this is Pixar.  I don’t expect anything less.  There are simply some parts of the job that you should always do well.  Don’t fix me a beautifully garnished barbecue platter and then expect a pat on the back when it turns out the plate actually has very little barbecue on it.  Brave contains several nice elements, but the “Pixar magic” is, much like Tom Cruise’s sanity, lacking.”

Continue reading…

Rock of Ages Movie Review

Rock of Ages review

“As far as movie genres go, one where people randomly burst into song is not at the top of my favorites list.  However, I will admit that I’ve enjoyed a musical from time to time.  Granted, they are typically of the variety of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog and The Muppet Movie – the kind that don’t take themselves too seriously and actually know how to poke phone of the inherent cheesiness of the genre.

As for Rock of Ages…”

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10 Worst He-Man Characters

OrkoTime and retrospect have a way of shedding new light on dusty, old recollections. In the midst of adolescent endeavors you don’t take the time to ponder the disturbing nature of playing with muscular male dolls that are 90% naked. You also tend to ignore ridiculous character names such as Stinkor.

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Men in Black 3 Movie Review

Men in Black 3 review

Men in Black 3, you had me at “Josh Brolin saves the world.”  Sounds like a concept destined for success, right?

“Hold up there, friendo, nobody asked for this movie!”

Considering MIB3 comes 15 years after the original, I understand that argument.  What’s the point, right?  Well, I’m not here to point/counterpoint the necessity of the film; I’m here to explore whether or not it succeeds in entertaining you…

Continue reading…

On Monday you will get two movie reviews…

… I promise!  I have basically finished my reviews of Men in Black 3 and Rock of Ages.  However, I’ve been involved with a work conference all week, and I’m worn out.

“Wow, somebody’s a crybaby.  Why can’t you just post them this weekend?”

Despite your lack of sympathy, that’s a good question.  The answer is we don’t have Internet at the house.

“Um, what?  It’s the year 2012, AND you’re a computer programmer, yet you don’t have Internet at your house?

Excellent job of stating facts and repeating what I said and then turning it into a question.  I’m not sure how it contributes to the discussion, but I digress.  No, I do not have an Internet connection, but I will be changing that situation soon.  In order for The Movie Mark to grow as desired, I simply have to make that investment.

The bottom line is I’ll post both reviews on Monday.  As for Rock of Ages – don’t pay $10 a pop to see it on the big screen.  The soundtrack is great, but it’s surprisingly raunchy for a PG-13 film, and the cheese is so thick you can cut it with a knife.

“Did you just make a reference to cutting the cheese?”

You’re so immature.  I saw Brave last night, so you’ll have that review to look forward to as well.

“You’re too kind.”

I can’t disagree with you there.

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming…

Hello, dear readers!  I just wanted to inform everybody that it’s a busy work week for me, and my computer access will be limited, thus my updates will be scattered.  I saw Rock of Ages last night, and I hope to post my review of it and MIB3 by week’s end.  That will be my two major Movie Mark goals.  I just wanted to give everybody a heads up so you didn’t come to the site, notice it wasn’t being updated every day, and then freak out, thinking that I had once again disappeared.

Thank you for understanding.

“What if we don’t understand?”

In that case, thank you for checking out the site and caring enough to not understand.



Movie Review: Snow White and the Huntsman

Snow White and the Huntsman movie review

“I was on board for a re-imagining of the Snow White fairy tale.  Unfortunately, the film’s lack of imagination caused me to jump ship.  The uneven pacing, uninteresting dialogue, and uninspired action all make for one big missed opportunity.  Sure, the cinematography is easy on the eyes, and the special effects provide a little fun, but overall the film gives us no real substance, and to be honest, not enough style to compensate.”

If you haven’t seen Snow White and the Huntsman yet, and you’re thinking of seeing it this weekend, well, you might want to read my review first.

Look for my review of Men in Black 3 on Monday.  I originally planned to post it today as well, but I needed a couple of more days to figure out how to verbally convey the acting master class that Josh Brolin delivers.  Y’all have a great weekend.

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