Inspired by True Events
Equipped with a misguided sense of entitlement, The Chairkicker views the seat in front of him as a foot rest, regardless of whether it’s occupied or not. Never one to consider proper movie etiquette, he spends the entire movie ramming his knees or feet into the back of your chair, and no amount of nasty glares will slow down his chairkickin’ abilities.
Typically an ex-jock whose primitive years were filled with little more than bullying and all-around meat-head shenanigans, Mr. Chairkicker does not let his later-life obesity prevent him from wearing super tight shirts that show off the last vestiges of what might have once been musculature.
Due to the fact that he is immune to polite requests to refrain from using the back of your chair for field goal practice, more drastic measures are most likely needed. Instead of immediately giving in to your desire to use his skull in the same way he is abusing your seat, let him know that security will be contacted if his chairkickin’ festivities do not immediately cease and desist.
Should he ignore your warning then firmly make him aware of your intention to “take things outside” if need be. The majority of the time he will react like most bullies do and retreat. However, some circumstances might call for the assistance of The Movie Mark.